Wanting To Be His

CHAPTER 28 :"It's Just A Stupid Crush".

I had to get out of there.

I couldn't stand to look at her for one more second, it made everything more real, it's now set in stone.

I'm having a kid.

Im not ready to be a father nor do I want to be, I want to have fun and I wanna go clubbing and I sure as hell ain't ready to be in a relationship.

I'm feeling things for Aurora but that will go away soon enough. I don't think I will ever be able to walk into a room with Aurora and feel the way I felt before all this shit with Damon happened.

I want to feel my ego lifting just because she's looking at me with those big brown eyes even though she's trying so hard not to.... not the other way round.

I was so stupid to sleep with her, I knew how she felt about me and I just had to go through with it. I made up that stupid excuse on how I couldn't do it to Nik when she asked if we were  "something" but I'm beginning to think Nikolai is our number one shipper from the way he was talking in the bar.

It was like he wanted me to be the person she hooked up with and the father of his niece or nephew... but still I can't do it. I know that I would eventually hurt her and I'd end up breaking my own heart.

It's just a stupid crush, it will eventually fade and everything will go back to normal.

The next day....

"It will be within a matter of months when I step down from the mafia Don." Father said taking a sip of vodka and staring into the fireplace. Father and I were in his office talking mafia as usual. I stood beside him doing the same, mesmerised by the flames and the feeling of the heat against my face.

"I know your ready." I smiled a little as I pulled my gaze away from the  fire to look at father. "I won't let you down, the mafia will be in good hands".

"I know son."

"Why don't you go have fun with Nikolai, you won't be able to go partying as often when your the Don." Father said leaving and going to the corner of the office to refill his glass of vodka.

" It's clubbing, not a party". I say smirking at his oldness and walking away from the fireplace and sitting down.

"It was classed as the same thing when I was your age." Father scoffed walking towards me and sitting down.

"I'll text him and see what he's doing... he's taking over from Ace soon isn't he?"

"Yeah, Ace is just as eager to step down from leader as I am , he and Victoria want to travel as they didn't get to beacaue Vic got pregnant with Nik and Rory so soon."

My jaw clenched as I heard Aurora's nickname. I remember Nik and I used to tease her so bad for it. I cleared my throat and got up,I'm not supposed to be thinking about her.

"I'll see if Nikolai is free." I said leaving before Father could say anything. I walk up to my room and close the door. I go into the bathroom and turn on the tap and soak my face with cold water.

I look in the mirror and watch the trickles of water fall from my chin.
Stop thinking about her.

I dry my face and get my phone and text Nikolai to meet at the club. He replied a few minutes later and he of course said yes. He's obsessed with clubbing, the drink and of course the women that come with it.

I get changed quickly and leave the house. I race to the club and see Nik pulling up.

"Two days in a row, what's up with you?" Nik scoffed laughing walking into the club.

"Nothings up.... Father said I'm taking over the mafia In a few months and to have fun while I can and besides I'm horny as fuck and this is the only place to find a half decent women  and don't act as of you were forced to be here, dickhead." I say walking beside him.

" Yeah.. I suppose your right."He said smirking as a couple of women walked up to us. I look at them all and the only thing that comes to mind is that their not Aurora.

I unclench my jaw and walk into the crowd ignoring the bunch of women calling after me.