I need you, I need you, I need you

chapter 90-young and dumb

February 1st, 2020
Rachel's p/v
I've been stirring my lemon tea for 10 minutes now. So much for healing my achy throat from Mario Kart. Darry walks out of his room with his fancy grey coat. He only wears it on special occasions. A date with Mary?
"We need to talk."
I lay back in my seat. Darry sits next to me.
"You may feel uncomfortable talking about this. I don't expect you to open up at first, but we need to have this talk. I think you know what I'm talking about."
"Nope. Explain yourself."
"Ok. You wanted to end your life. You tried to end your life. Did you feel lonely? Confused? Helpless?"
I stare at my cup of tea. Knowing that it's cold is not helping this feeling of nausea.
"You can tell me anything, Rachel. I'm not here to judge you."
"I'm not telling you anything."
"Are you afraid of opening up? Or are you afraid of opening up to me."
"What happened is none of your business. Jonathan was just being nosey."
"He was concerned about you. I thank him for telling me. And I thank him for convincing you to not go through with it."
"No, I made that decision on my own. Jonathan had nothing to do with it."
"Ok, Jonathan had nothing to do with it. Can you tell me why you wanted to end your life? You can just answer my yes or no questions."
I don't respond. Does he even want to know?
"Is it because of Mary?"
"What? No, I didn't want to kill myself because of her. Not everything is about her."
"I just assumed because of the misunderstanding between you guys was pretty harsh."
"What she does has no effect on me anymore. You and I may have missed each other while you were gone, but that doesn't mean everything is ok between us. I still very much dislike you."
"Why do we have to fight? Let's just work things out once and for all."
"And you wonder why I'm the way I am. We can work things out when you and Mary break up."

Darry looks down. Figured.
"So now that you're done interrogating me, I have a simple question for you."
"Yeah?"
I sigh. "I want to join the dance team. The captain is letting us audition to replace someone who left the team. We need a parent or guardian signature. Can you do that for me?"
"You remember the reason why our ex legal guardian took you off the dance team, right?"
"Well duh, I'm not a grandma."
"If your grades start slipping then I'm taking you out of the dance team."
"They won't slip."
"If you get into any fights before the audition and after the audition then you're not joining that dance team."
"But that wasn't why I was kicked off-"
"I don't care. Those are my only requirements."
"Alright. My grades won't slip and I will not get into a fight."
"Good. Yeah, I'll sign whatever I need to sign."
"Thanks." I get up and walk to my room. Noooo, my tea!

"What song is on the radio today?"
Tyler looks at his laptop. "Loving Machine by TV Girl."
"You listen to TV Girl? I love their stuff."
"I only know a few songs but their stuff is pretty nice. What are you wearing today?"
I smile. "Don't worry, angel, I haven't forgotten about the hat you bought me."
"I can't wait to take a million of pictures of you in it. On that note, I should let you get ready for school."
"You don't wanna stay on call with me?"
"I need to get to school early for film club. We're already working on a script for our new short film."
"Awww, I won't be able to see you this morning?"
"I'm sorry, love. We can hang out during brunch."
"Sounds like a plan. Alright, I'm gonna get ready now. Bye, angel."
"Bye, love."

I put my phone on my charger and walk over to my closet. What to wear what to wear. I don't wear hats, but I'm definitely wearing the one my angel got me. It's so damn cute!

Since Tyler and Declan were busy with film club, I got to class early. And since Mary is in film club, I saw her enter class. We are both wearing newsboy caps.  Shoot me now.

I'm wearing a black t-shirt that I found deep in my closet, dark blue flared jeans, brown sherpa sweater, black docs, burnt orange Kanken, and my brown newsboy cap. I thought this was outfit was sooo Mary. I stand VERY corrected.