I need you, I need you, I need you

chapter 31-ghost party

November 1st, 2019
Rachel's p/v
Avoiding your boyfriend? Easier said than done. My kiss with Tyler kept me up all night. Each time I think about it, I never know what it's worth. He doesn't like me, and I don't like him. But for some reason my head is lost in translation. How come I can never make up my mind?

One thing for sure is that I'm going to pour my all into tonight's competition. I actually have a solo in a song! It's funny how that wasn't what was keeping me up at night. It's clearly not as important as the crime I committed: cheating.

Kyle wanted to see me this morning. We haven't talked since our mini disagreement. I'm waiting for him in the cafeteria because it's freezing cold outside. I haven't bitten my nails in so long but right now they're looking a little too long. Despite the extremely cold weather, sweat is trickling down my spine as if someone was springing a wet towel down my back. When is he going to fucking come?
"Hey, Rachel." Sage says as she sits across from of me.
"Hey, Sage, by any chance have you seen Kyle recently?"
"As in this morning? No, I haven't."
"Good."
"Well aren't you eager to see him. Don't tell me you guys got into an argument."
"A small disagreement, but nothing too serious."
"So?"
I grab her hands. "Promise you won't say anything to Kyle."
"I'll have to talk with my manger first-"
"Sage!"
"Kidding. Yeah, I won't say anything now tell me!"
I take a deep breath. "I kissed Tyler last night."
"You what?!" Sage yells. I cover her mouth with my hand.
"Why don't you tell China as well?"
"Sorry! I mean, you what?" She whispers.
"We were left alone at the Halloween party and we were playing truth dare, and then we kissed."
"Was it a dare?"
"It was, but it changes nothing. I don't know if I should tell Kyle about the kiss."
"Well you might wanna make up your mind right this second."
"Why?"
"Behind you." Sage mumbles. I look behind me. Kyle is walking up to us.
I turn back around. "Please stay."
"I actually have somewhere to go but good luck!" Sage gets up and runs away.
"Good morning baby," Kyle kisses my cheek, "how did you sleep?"
"Good."
"How was the Halloween party? I'm sorry I didn't go with you, it was nervous heart taking over. I'll do better trying to integrate myself with your friends."

My heart is crying. Why is he the sweetest boy in the world?
"It's ok, I respect the way you are. The party was lame, you didn't miss much."
"Aw, sucks that it was lame. What did you guys do?"
"Talk."
"About?"
"Why are you asking so many questions?"
"Just trying to make conversation. Who went to the party?"
"Everyone from choir."
"Is everything ok? You're a little quiet."
"Can't I be tired?"
"It's not that, you're just less talkative. Just an observation."
"Right."
"So um, I know you said the party was lame but did anything somewhat exciting happen? Like a fight, or an unexpected romantic gesture?"
I start coughing. It feels like I'm in an interrogation.
"Do you need water? I can go get you some water."
"N-no, I'm ok." I say in between coughs.
"You're coughing a lot. Water will help."
"Seriously, I'm ok-"
"I'll be right back with water." Kyle gets up and runs out the door. How am I going to live with this guilt?

"Um, Rachel."
I turn around. "Tyler."
"There's really no easy way to talk about this so I'm going to be very blunt. Our kiss was very real, there's no way we can pretend it didn't happen. I think you should tell Kyle."
"I can't tell him anything, Tyler. If I do then I'll lose him."
"I just think it's better that he knows the truth. If you guys like each other then a stupid kiss shouldn't get in the way."
"Stupid kiss." I say under my breath.
"So what are you going to do?"
"I'm not going to do anything. Please leave before he sees you."
"We can't even make it seem like we're two friends talking? That's all we are after all."
"I've made up my mind. I'm not going to tell Kyle the truth."
"What truth?"
I turn around. Kyle is standing behind me with a water bottle in his left hand.
"That Tyler won't leave me alone."
"Is that so." Tyler says.
"Yes, it's so. I want you to leave."
"Rachel, can we stop this? We both know what the moral thing to do is so can we please just tell Kyle the truth?"
"We don't need to because it's obvious that you're stalking me. Since you're so obsessed with me, why don't you stick around for the show." I lean in and kiss Kyle. Not just a small peck, but a full make-out session. I open my eyes. Tyler is gone. Kyle pulls away.
"What was that? Tell me whatever truth you guys were talking about."
"I already did. It's nothing important."
"Something happened at that party and you don't want to tell me. Please Rachel, tell me what happened."
"You have to believe me, Kyle, nothing happened."
"The look in your eyes tells me everything I need to know. Look, I want to believe you but I can't when you only kissed me to get him to leave. Once you realize you can trust me come talk to me." Kyle hands me the water bottle and leaves the cafeteria. I wish it didn't have to end like this. I knew things weren't going to be easy, but I never thought that it would end with me cheating on him.