I need you, I need you, I need you

chapter 32-romantic lover

November 2nd, 2019
Rachel's p/v
After tossing and turning, waking up in a cold sweat, getting up to pee 5 times, I have made my decision: I'm going to break up with Kyle.

This morning should be like any other Saturday morning. Eat breakfast, make my bed, get ready, and get started on cleaning. I can listen to Fiona Apple while sweeping the floors. The broom will be my microphone.

I settled on a white sleeveless top, black pants, blue denim jacket, and black/white slip on vans. Comfort beats beauty. I don't feel too beautiful today. If I was someone else I would be getting ready for a date with my boyfriend. But I'm me, and I'm doing something I really don't want to do, but need to do.

I need moral support. Sage is still sleeping
and Jasmine is visiting her aunt two hours away from here. I'm still not close enough with Quinn to ask her, and I'm definitely not asking anyone else from the choir. I think I know just the person.

"You can wait by the curb. I don't want Kyle to get the wrong idea."
Aiden takes off his earbuds. "Why at the curb? He knows we're coming, right?"
I look down. Well this is awkward.
"Right?"
"No, he doesn't know."
"Rachel!"
"Aiden!"
"You're screwed and I'm screwed. He's going to think I'm your new boyfriend!"
"No, he won't. He knows I'm not like that."
"But you-"
"Aiden."
"Fine, I'll wait by the curve. But if he thinks I'm your new boyfriend then I'm out of here."
"Sounds good. Wish me luck."
"Have fun."
I turn around and slowly walk up to the apartment door. Maybe coming unexpected was a bad idea. What if he isn't home? Only one way to find out.

I knock on the door. Please please be here.
"Rachel, hey."
I gulp. "Kyle."
"What brings you here? It feels like we haven't talked in ages."
"One day felt like a million years. I actually came here to explain everything."
"I'm all ears."
I take a deep breath. "Remember when you caught me and Tyler arguing about telling the truth?"
"Mhm."
"Everyone left the Halloween party for different reasons. Tyler and I were the only ones there so we continued playing truth or dare. There was a moment where things got a bit intense. Tyler dared me to kiss him, and so I did."
Kyle nods and looks away. His eyes instantly fill with tears.
"When we realized what we had done we swore on forgetting it ever happened. The next day, Tyler told me to tell you the truth. I didn't want to because I was afraid of losing you, but it just isn't fair to you. That's the truth we were talking about. And because I cheated on you, I think we both agree that we should break up. You don't deserve any of this, no one does."
"Did you like the kiss?"
"It was just in the heat of the moment-"
"It feels like I'm dying, Rachel. I put my all into making our relationship work. You don't kiss someone because it was the heat of the moment. It hurts me to say this but it's obvious that you still like Tyler. But I appreciate you telling me the truth."
"I don't know what I feel towards him. I don't think it really cares."
"Yeah, and it really doesn't matter to me. Thank you for telling me this. I wish you the best, Rachel." Kyle half smiles with a tear rolling down his cheek. He closes the door. I walk down the steps.

Aiden gets up from the curb. "So what did he say?"
I shove my hands into my jacket pockets. "He's hurt, Aiden. I made him cry."
"That's a typical reaction to a break up. You did good in telling him the truth. It's better that you told him before he got attached."
"I think he was already attached, Aiden. Even I was attached to him. I miss him already."
"This feeling will go away. Do you want to grab some milkshakes to make you feel better? They're on me."
"I appreciate it but I think I'm gonna head to Sage's house. I already promised on seeing her today."
"It's no problem, we can save the milkshakes for another day. Are we going back the same way?"
"No, the bus stop to her house is a block away from here."
"I can wait with you then. I've got nothing to do anyway."
"Thank you for everything, Aiden. You're such a good friend."
"I'm always here for ya." He wraps his arm around me. Now that I've broke up with Kyle, I think it's time that Tyler and I have a conversation about our feelings once and for all. I don't plan on getting into a relationship anytime soon, but there's some shit that needs to be cleared. I'll talk to him on Monday. We both owe each other explanations.