I need you, I need you, I need you

chapter 44-my medicine

November 29th, 2019
Rachel's p/v
Once again we're running late, mainly due to me. I didn't go to sleep until like 3 am so my alarm clock was like white noise to me. But I'm up and in the shower. Thank God for showers, I feel so musty. And thank God for my Kids Suave shampoo, the only scent I tolerate. Growing up I was forced to share a 2 in one bottle with Darry. And since our dad favored him, he always got to pick the scent. Who the fuck enjoys old spice.

Our dad never had enough money to buy me clothes but Darry always seemed to come home with new shirts and shit. I now know that he gave Darry money once in a blue moon, but it still doesn't make it ok. It wasn't fair. So today's outfit goes out to my dad. I'm wearing my dark green turtleneck, black leather jacket, blue mom jeans, my black docs, rose gold headband, and Kanken. His least favorite color was green.

These past few weeks in Maryland has been so gloomy, I'm starting to miss the heat. It's not raining today, but man is the wind strong. It's nothing compared to California's cool temperature. I will never forget the day my dad dropped me and Darry off at Sage's grandma's house in Los Angeles. All because he wanted to go to Las Vegas but couldn't find anyone to babysit us. It was during fall break so Sage was able to convince her parents to visit her grandma, so that we had a place to stay. Jaden also convinced his parents to let him stay at his aunt's house in Cali. The weather was so damn perfect. I wanna go back.

Declan and I agreed to meet in the library. No one can stand being outside in these conditions.
"Rachel!"
"Declan!"
We hug each other. I rub Declan's back.
"I feel like I haven't seen you in forever!"
"I'm sorry we couldn't call yesterday. I went out with Darry and his friends." I say as we pull apart.
"It's ok! I'm just happy we can talk now. But don't expect much time with me, the workers at Starbucks accidentally put milk in my drink so I'm a little uneasy this morning."
"Aww, that sucks."
"I also purposely ate yogurt this morning."
"Nah, this shit is on you."
Declan laughs. "Anyway, what did you guys do yesterday?"
"Went to the arcade and then grabbed donuts."
"Fun. Anything interesting happened?"
"Not really. Well, Darry left for a good while. He said he went to the pharmacy but I don't buy it. After he came back he asked Sabrina to talk to her in private, and then she came back super sad. I wonder what happened."
"Did you ask him?"
"No, but I should've. I don't find a point in asking him though, he'll probably say the same thing he told us."
"If that's what you think then he's probably telling the truth."
"Maybe so. Changing the subject, do you want to come over to my house to work on our song? I also need you to help me practice for the lead in your play."
"Can't help you practice for the audition but I will be there to practice for the song. Do you have any ideas?"
"No, I was hoping you had one."
"It's ok, we'll figure it ou-"Declan places a hand on his stomach.
"What?"
"Gotta go." Declan grabs his backpack and bolts out the door. I warn him time and time again.

"I'm sorryyy!"
"I don't want to talk to you."
"Please just let me apologize!"
"No! We're not friends anymore."
I turn around to see the angry married couple. Oh, it's Mary and Jonathan. She looks...basic. Baby blue tank top, Brandi cropped grey zip up, dark blue acid wash loose jeans, white Filas, and no bag. She looks incredibly basic right now. I won! I fucking won!
"I was so stupid yesterday. Look, I know I messed up. Please just forgive me!"
"I don't want to hear it." Mary exits the door. Jonathan throws a book on the floor.
"Hey! Pick that up right now." One of the librarians says.
"Yeah Jonathan, pick that up right now." I say under my breath. I wonder what Jonathan did to Mary. She's furious, and basic.

Declan and I are agreed to meet up outside of his class for brunch but he's nowhere to be found. We were going to return to our uno days but this time in his classroom. There's a substitute in our math class. It's too cold to be out here, I'm going to the cafeteria. But first, I'm going to visit the tree Tyler and I sat at the first day of school. It just feels fitting.