I need you, I need you, I need you

chapter 33-burning desire

November 5th, 2019
Rachel's p/v
Last night Aiden and I stayed up researching the exposing Mill Wood account. The account has no profile picture, 15 followers, and follows no one. The rumor was posted on their story with just a black screen. The photo was posted as an actual post. We messaged everyone, asking why the fuck would they follow the account. Everyone left us on read. I just hope Bowie gets his senses and talks to Erica about all of this. If she really did cheat then he at least gets closure. But if she didn't then someone is damaging her reputation. I wonder what she thinks of all of this.

Whenever I stay up late I get extremely tired, but not this time. I think I'm getting used to it. Whenever I glanced at the time I thought of Tyler. Late night phone calls were our thing, and now I'm not even sure if he wants to see me. I need to tell him that Kyle and I broke up. Whether or not he's dating Serenity I need him to know. Even if nothing happens between us, I just need him to know.

There he is, my sunshine eyes. He's walking towards the boy's locker room. I might as well follow, I'm not going to yell out his name like in the movies. Though I did listen one of Mazzy Star's songs for him: Halah. Movie soundtrack song right there. Although we're the only people here, I have my comfort zone in check.

Tyler stops in front of Serenity. She wraps her arms around him. I quickly hide behind the brick wall. Are they meeting up?
"You look super cute in that beige jacket."
"Aw, thanks," he pulls away, "how did you sleep?"
"Really good. My bed is the comfiest cloud in the world."
"I need to get a new bed. You can feel the dips when you lay in it."
"Soooo when I'm invited to the crib?"
"We've only been dating for like two days and you wanna sleep with me already? I mean, on my be-"
Serenity playfully punches him arm. "Don't even."
"Don't even what? Flirt with my girl?"
"Yeah, you can't do that sorry. But no seriously, invite me to your house! I have a great selection of DVDs I can bring. I also have some homemade movies we can cringe at."
"Homemade movies? Like a se-"
Serenity rapidly hits Tyler. He shields himself with his hands.
"Control yourself woman!" Tyler laughs.
"Come at me Sues! You don't have the balls." She flexes her muscles. Tyler starts tickling her.
"What was that you were saying?"
"Ok ok I get it!" She says in between laughter.
"That's what I thought." He stops ticking her. Serenity pulls out her phone. Tyler snatches the beret hat off her head.
"Give it!" She tries to grab but Tyler puts it on his head.
"I look better in this than you. Sucks to say, but I too can be a fashion model like you."
"Can the designer get a little gift?"
"A muffin basket."
Serenity wraps her arms around his neck and looks at his lips. "Something even better." She reaches forward and kisses him. Tyler places his hands on her hips.

I can't watch them anymore. It's bad enough that I followed him. Tyler and Serenity are dating, and there I was thinking that they were good friends. But that's how Mary and Tyler started off. And me? I'm stuck on the far end of his spectrum. This past week I acted like everything that was happening wasn't a big deal, when really it was breaking my heart.

I'm just so disappointed in myself. All of this could've been avoided if I had just told Tyler how I felt about him. But no, I dated Kyle and allowed Tyler to fade away from my life. My head is telling me that this is for the best because Tyler was never interested in me. I should have known. I did know. And against my very nervous and defensive heart, I let myself think that Tyler and I were a possibility. Only I do these things to myself.

Mary's p/v
Ben and Monique aren't here today, and Tyler and Serenity are hanging out together. I haven't spent my lunch alone in hot second. Reading in the library was my go to but now I'm just exploring around campus. There's way too many fake "friends" in life, it's time that I meet someone who actually cares about me. And this isn't me being overdramatic when I say that I miss Ben. He literally hasn't answered my messages or my calls. It's like he disappeared and moved to like Ohio. Where did my friend go? I hate him, but I still care. He's like one of those cringy 80s films where the main character is annoying, but he has some redeemable qualities. No, more like a ghost in a horror movie because WHERE DID HE GO.