ruined, but is it?

akwardness

Moving his head up a bit, rain took in a very deep breathe to fill his lungs to then slowly open his eyes to look around, groaning a bit, rain gulped has he was too his stomach with his head to the side to then close his eyes again has he felt very tired to then move his head to place his forehead to the bed to then start to go up just to wince in pain, he then turned his head back to the side to then place his hand to his lower back to rub he then had what happened a few hours ago wash through his mind, he whimpered to then place his forehead back to the bed to shake his head a bit.
What is wrong with me and....
Before rain could finish that thought he moved to his arms to then look to his door to gulp has he saw payu come in with a tray full of food to have his head hung to be s eyeing over it.
Rain then looked to the tray to make a face, he then turned his head to look about his bed to then grab a blanket to then groan with a wince.
Payu immediately looked up to then go to rain to place the tray to the side to then stand before him.
"Are you okay?"
Rain signed to then place the blanket about him to then place his arms wrapped under his head to look down.
"No."
"What can I do to help?"
Rain slowly looked up.
"Think you've done enough."
Payu scoffed in amazement rain would say that. He then shook his head to then turn to leave in a bit of a huff, rain watched him go to then sign heavily to turn his head to look to the tray filled with food to shake his head to then place his forehead to his arms to groan.
I can be such an asshole.
Eventually rain was able to eat his food to get slowly up in a bit of pain, to then take a long shower, to then get dressed to grab the tray to then leave his bedroom, to stop before the door frame to have his head turned to eye over payu who sat at the dining room table to have his head hung to be looking at his food with a sullen face.
Rain signed to then stumble across the way to go to the kitchen, feeling very embarrassed for how he acted and to feel akwardness by being around payu after what happened last night.
Going to the kitchen, rain placed the tray near the sink to then place the dishes in to then turn his head to look over payus back.
"I'm..... Sorry...."
Payu started to eat slowly to dart his eyes to look down once more.
"I shouldn't have touched you rain. I'm sorry."
Rain made a hard face to then start the water to slowly clean his dish to eye the action.
"It was my fault....... Don't you be sorry...."
Payu slowly peered his eyes up to then turn to eye over rain.
"Are you trying to be apologetic for something you can not have control over?"
Rain slowly moved the sponge over the dish to start to breathe heavily, the akwardness he was feeling was growing in height.
"Um.....I don't really want to talk about it."
Payu signed to look over rain.
"It's not anything to be ashamed of rain. Happens to me too."
Rain gulped to dart his eyes over the action of cleaning his dish.
"Payu......I really don't want to talk about that. Just know what I said this morning was uncalled for. You...... Um..... Really did help me last night...... Went a bit far though...."
Payu nodded to then turn about to then look down.
"I'm very sorry rain. I didn't keep my promise."
Rain turned off the water after he washed his hands to then turn his head to look to payu.
"I..... Didn't really make it easy for you. I might not be gay but...... With what you saw, we are only human."
Payu placed his hand to his neck to rub..
"I'm such a disgrace to my fiance....." He muttered.
Rain tilted his head to the side to have heard that to then go slowly about to stand to the side of payu to eye him over a bit curious.
"Payu, what did you mean by that?"
Payu breathed in a deep, to then move his hand down to place to the table to cup them together to eye.
"Gay men like me rain, we don't..... Force others..... But I've forced you and.....I really didn't mean to....I am also a man of my word...... I'm so sorry...."
Rain parted his lips to look down.
"Just like you've told me payu, we are only human."
Payu signed to then get up with his dish to start to go about.
"That we are...... But I'm being a very bad one for what I have done to you."
Rain turned a bit to watch payu go to the kitchen.
"Um..... It..... Wasent all bad."
Payu stopped to then hang his head to sign.
"Happy to hear that, still shouldn't have happened though. I...... Will not touch you again rain."
Rain made a hard face to then take in a very deep breathe to then slowly go to stand to the side has payu was to the sink to start in on cleaning his dish.
"Pay.....payu?"
Payu kept his eyes to the action.
"Mm?"
"Um..... When I've.... Healed a bit.....I think.....I should at least get something."
Payu turned his head to look to rain confused.
"Like what?"
"Um.... Have at Least one time it doesn't hurt."
Payu parted his lips to turn his head to look over rain.
"What are you talking about?"
Rain turned his body to place it to the counter to look forward to wrap his arms about.
"Think..... You owe me...... One time where it won't hurt."
Payu raised an eye brow.
"Your..... Wanting to again?"
Rain gulped to dart his eyes to then push his body away from the counter to then go to his couch.
"Just..... Once more..... Without pain."
Payu widened his eyes in shock.
Rain went to his couch to sit to the edge to keep his head forward to shake his head a bit.
Fuck! Why did you have to look so sad when you talked payu? Why did I again try to make you happy with my body?
Rain then hung his head to place his hands to his neck to rub to sign and hard.