ruined, but is it?

your infuriating

To the large vast of water, rain was sitting down with his legs to his chest to be writing over the ripples to sign, after the bon fire, he took his food to then be where he was to not go to the gem room he needed time away from payu.
Going to the entrance to that room, payu was to the side to wrap his arms about himself to look over rain to make a face he then slowly went in to then stop, rain eyed down to sign.
"Payu.....go away."
Payu took in a very deep breathe to then sit criss cross.
"No."
Rain rolled his eyes.
"Just leave me alone."
"I said no."
Rain turned his head to look over payu.
"You are starting to really piss me off here payu."
"I know. But the fact remains I'm not going anywhere, also.... You were suppose to meet me to...."
Rain rolled his eyes to turn his head to look over the water.
"Go use your hand."
"Mm..... Your ass is tighter."
Rain got up and quick to turn to really eye over payu.
"Asshole! I'm sick of this, you know I have..... And you treat me like this, what the hell is wrong with you! Why do you....ugh!"
Rain then started to go about to then stop to sign, payu took rains hand to then hold to look down.
"You are not just your body to me rain."
Rain turned his head to look to payu.
"Sure I'm not. That's why you wanted to meet in the gem room."
Payu turned his head to look up.
"I want to be with you, rather we have sex or not."
Rain slowly went down to go to his knees for then to keep holding hands to look him over.
"Why?"
Payu made a hard face to then look down to the action of them holding hands to use his thumb to rub the back of it, rain looked over payu to sign to then withdraw his hand to go to lay next to him to place his hands over his eyes to rub.
"You are so infuriating."
Payu looked over rain to then go to lay down to be to his side hand to his head.
"Know I am."
Rain moved his hands away to place his arms under his head to look up.
"I..... Can't keep doing this payu."
Payu made a face to eye down.
"Why can't we just be together without love?"
Rain turned his head to look over him
"That's just you being selfish."
Payu looked to rain.
"Why can't I be?"
Rain rolled his eyes to look up to the ceiling once more to sign.
"Just..... Let whatever this is between us die then, I want to be in a living relationship, that will never ever happen with you. That's.... Not fair."
Payu looked to rains exposed stomach to move his free hand over it to place two fingers to it to move it back and forth, rain then peered his eyes down to watch over the action.
"Life.... Isn't fair rain."
Rain made a hard face to then widen his eyes has payu moved to be over him to have his hands to either side of his head to look down.
"I..... You are not going to be with anyone else. Do you understand me?"
Rain narrowed his eyes.
"That's not at all fair."
Payu shrugged to then start to move down to give rain a very hard face.
"And?"
Rain rolled his eyes to then place his hands to payus chest to try to push him away for payu to move up to place his fingers through his to place his hands to either side of his head to look him over.
Rains heart couldn't help but to beat and quick.
Payu looked him over to move his head to the side to then place his mouth to his, rains eyes couldn't help but to lower to give in.
Payu then started to grind himself on rain to get him excited.
Rain breathed heavier to have his mind start to work, he took his fingers from payus to place his hands to his chest to push him away to then get up to stand up look at him.
"I'm more then my body....uh huh....."
Rain turned to then leave.
Payu to his butt signed to look over him to then eye down.
Sex and love we're a mixture.
Payu peered his eyes to the side to make a bet hard face to then lay to his side to close his eyes to think of his fiance and that promise.
I'm so sorry.....I just can't fall in love with anyone who is not you! I know I have deep feeling for rain, don't want him to be with anyone else but me however.......I just can't fall in love with him.... Just can't give him what he really wants.....
Payu got up to place his hands to his eyes to rub.
Going to his sleeping bag, rain got in to be to his side to have his chin quiver, he couldn't help but to weep over this, it was destroying his heart and he didn't feel payu gave a shit, it was all about his body.
Rain wrapped his arms about himself to close his eyes has tears started to go down.
I don't know how, but I need to start to really talk to people here and move on from payu, think he will only move on from me if he sees me with someone else, seems like that is what is going to happen here. Need to show payu I am very serious and I want to be in an actual relationship that is filled with love not just sex!
Rain made a very hard face.
I hate that I'm in love with a boy who forced himself on me and has done what he has to me. I.... Need to move on. Can't keep being a prisoner to this.... Just.... Can't!