ruined, but is it?

showing him what I can't say

To his side, rain decided to move his sleeping bag away from ruzie after what she did to sleep a bit alone, he then lifted his head up to see payu get out of his sleeping bag to go back to where they were earlier, rain kept his eyes to him has he walked about, for payu to have his eyes to him to keep walking about.
Rain hung his head to keep his eyes to him has he went about the corner to slowly get up to turn his head to look across the way to see ruzie to her back to be fast asleep, rain Darted his eyes over her to then slowly get up, hating himself, has he knew he should have stayed put.
Going about, rain stopped before he had to turn to then look about over all the sleeping bags, to then turn back to go about the corner, he looked about to see nothing.
Rain stopped walking to eye about a bit confused.
"Pay....u?"
Payu came about to place his arm to a wall to look over rain.
"Rain."
Rain turned to eye over payu to take in a deep breathe.
"Why..... Did you want to meet up payu?"
Payu moved his arm from the wall to then walk towards rain to be right in front of him to dart his eyes about, he then slowly moved a hand up to place the back of it to his cheek to caress, rains heart slammed against his rob cage, he then peered his eyes to the action to sign, bringing up a hand he moved payus away.
"You are being so...... I'm going back to bed."
Rain turned to try to leave for payu to move and quick to him to wrap his arms about.
"I really just can't here rain. But....."
Rain peered his eyes down to see payu start to move his hands all over his chest to then start to go lower, rain rolled his eyes to place his hands to his to stop the action.
"Know why you wanted to meet with me..... Always about...."
Rain moved his hands away to try to leave again for payu to step quicker to him to turn him about to place him to the wall, rain looked over him.
Payu gulped to place his free hand that was not to his chest to pin him there to place it back to his cheek to caress has he Darted his eyes about, rain peered his eyes to the action to make a confused face, this was not like payu.
"It is not all about that rain. Right now.... Please let me convey my feelings for you. I do...."
Rain made a hard face to smack payus hand away from his face to place his hands to his chest to push away.
"Like me. Like a friend. I know payu. I can't keep doing this."
Rain turned to then stop.
Payu turned to eye over him.
"Know it's more rain. You know that, so do I."
Rain took in a very deep breathe to roll his hands into fists by his sides to hang his head.
"Believe..... I'm actually starting to hate you. I'm.... So sick of this."
So sick of my confusing feelings for you which you are not at all helping with.
Payu rolled his eyes to step to rain to eye him over..
"If you were starting to hate me, you wouldn't have come here. Rain..... Right here, right now., Please let me show you something."
Rain turned to look over payu.
"Show me what?"
Payu gulped to move a hand to rains to then pull him to a bit more of a secluded place to have them sit down, to look at the other, payu made a face to move closer to place his mouth to rains to move his mouth slowly about his.
Rain looked over payu to take his hands to his chest to push him back to eye over him..
"Sure what you want to show me is your dick.... Right payu? Always just about.... Im done."
Rain tried to get up for payu to place his hands to his shoulders to pull him down.
"Rain.... Give me a chance."
Rain parted his lips to look over payu.
Payu gulped to look over rain to then start to take his hands slowly down to place them to the bottom of his shirt to start to take over, rain rolled his eyes has his shirt was taken over to then see payu do the same to his.
Rain signed.
Give you a chance, uh huh.
Payu placed his shirt to the side, to take rains hand to place to his heart, to then do the same to his.
Rain parted his lips to look to the action, payus heart beat unevenly like his was.
Payu looked over rain with a hard face.
"Can see.... We're feeling the same way when we're together."
Rain signed to then look to payu.
"Payu...... You know what I want.....I understand why you can't..... This is why you need to.... Hey!"
Payu moved his hands away to push rain down to lay his body to his to take rains hand again to the side of them to place his fingers through to eye the action.
"You really don't understand rain, I really..... Don't want to keep talking to you about it..... Know has to make you..... This really is what I can give you. Also you know you're mine."
Rains chin couldn't help but to quiver to turn his head to the other side, this was hurting him.
"Payu..... Please get off...."
Payu rubbed his cheek up and down rains body.
"I want to hear you say it."
Rain turned his head to look to payus head.
"Say what?"
Payu placed his chin to rains chest to look up.
"That your mine."
Rain signed to look to the ceiling.
"No."
Payu narrowed his eyes.
"You know you're mine rain."
"So I'm just an object to you then? I'm suppose to be yours without love?"
Payu gulped to place the side of his head to his chest to dart his eyes about to take his hand from his to move his head again to place his mouth to his chest to start to kiss about, rain hung his head to look about.
"Payu?"
Payu closed his eyes to place his hands to either side of rains body to keep kissing has he went down.
Rain looked back to the ceiling to dart his eyes about.
"Mm... Really just about the sex......"
Payu signed to peer his eyes up to keep kissing here and there.
"I'm just kissing you rain. Nothing more then that."
Rain flexed his jaw to keep looking upwards.
"This..... Really isn't fair of you payu....."
Payu took in a deep breathe to move back to place his hand to rains cheek to caress to place his hand over his heart to dart his eyes over him.
"I'm sorry."
Rain gulped to peer his eyes to him.
"If you are actually sorry...... Get off and let me move on."
Payu made a hard face.
"Guess then, to you.... I'm not really sorry, because I just can't do that rain not when I....."
Rain parted his lips to place his hands to his face.
"When you what?"
Payu looked over rain to move up to place his hands to his wrists to take his hands away to shutter his breathes out. He then placed rains hands to his body to move them about rain eyed the action, to then have his hands be placed to either side of his head to feel payus fingers through his.
"This really is.... All I can give to you rain..... Please except it."
Payu moved his bottom lip over rains to start to kiss lightly, rain kept his eyes opened to hate the fact he was slipping.
Rain closed his eyes has he felt payu slip his tongue in to start to move it very sensually around his.
Rain couldn't help but to mimick payus movements to then lift his head back to moan has payu left his mouth to go to his neck to start to kiss to start to grind to go to rains ear.
"We don't have to...... Have sex..... Just..... Could sleep together... Here...."
Rain took in a deep breathe to move his head for payu to place his over his for them to dart there eyes about.
"What you have made.... Hard..... You do need to take responsibility."
Payu smiled to move his head closer to rains to close his eyes.
"You are mine rain, I.... Am yours."
Rain made a hard face has he felt payus mouth to his to feel him start to grind on his hard on.
You are so very unfair payu! I am also such a fucking idiot! Damnit! Why do I have to...... Be in love with this...asshole!
Rain signed has they kissed to move his hands from payus to wrap his arms about to indulge even though it went against his better judgement.