𝘀𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆 | 𝘆𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗯𝗶𝗻

7 | pathetic

a/n: these next few chapters haven't been checked through🙈. i'm sorry if there are any mistakes, just tell me in the comments and I can fix them🫶.

(4:30pm)
4th december

when soobin arrived home, he pressed down on the door handle for it to be already open. he knew his parents didn't give one fuck if the door was locked, even if it was wide open they wouldn't care. all they cared about was drugs and alcohol. they didn't even blink an eye when their own son walked in.

soobin observed his 'home' and saw broken glass, bottles, dishes, wires and more scattered around the floor. he was used to the disgusting mess that his parents would create. they would just blame the mess on him then make him clean it up. he always knew it was useless to clean it up because there was no point if it was just going to be trashed by them again.

soobin winced at the smell of fresh weed, smoke and beer. he felt like he would throw up if he had to stand there any longer. but it was one of the many rules that he had to follow.

1) never talk back to your mother and father.
2) never leave the house without permission from your mother or father.
3) never lie to your mother or father.
4) never bring anyone home.
5) no electronic devices after 9pm.
6) make your own fucking food, your mother and father aren't your slaves.
7) if you need money, earn it, you don't get it for free.
8) go to school everyday, if your sick, then too bad.
9) always respect your mother and father.
10) wait at the door, until your mother and father come and let you in, it's not your fucking house, you don't get to come in when you please.

these were the rules that soobin's parents had enforced into his brain. there was a piece of paper given to him with all these rules. every now and then they would take the paper and add more ridiculous rules to it.

if soobin were to ever disobey these rules, there was consequences he had to pay.

"choi soobin! is that you? you fag?!" he heard his dad scream from the kitchen, he heard his mother giggling at his father's choice of words like it was the funniest joke known to man. then he heard uneven footsteps slowly step closer and closer to him. his eyes were glued to the floor but he could feel the presence of his father now standing in-front him.

soobin bowed then quickly stood back up straight with his head still down.

"ugh, you're so pathetic you can't even look at your father." his dad spat at his face, soobin flinched because he was taken aback by the sudden spray of saliva, but he was too scared to wipe his face.

"i-i'm sorry." soobin stuttered out, he felt small and useless when he was with his parents. he had no power with them.

his father roughly snatched his son's bag and ripped open the zip to see the contents of his bag. he pulled out the test score and quickly gazed his eyes over the from page.

"what the fuck is this?!" his father was enraged.

"i-im so sorry, I tried my best, i- i really did i swear, it w-was just a few mistka-" he was abruptly cut off by a harsh slap on his face. his head swung to the right from the force of the hit. tears trickled in his eyes, the pain hurt like hell, but he just had to endure it.

"not good enough!" he screamed in soobin's face. soobin was horrified to say the least, he only knew what was to come next. his only choice was to think of something else while he was going through the pain.

his dad shoved his weak body to the floor, "baby! come look at this!" he called his wife in to come and see what he was doing. he acted proud that he was beating his son to the bone, it brought him honour and pride.

"I'm coming babe!" soobin's mother replied, the sound of high heels clattering soon came closer to the scene.

soobin was laying on his knees in-front of his parents with his head down. the test scores were on the floor in-front of his knees.

"aww, look at our pathetic faggot of a son." his mother fake criedthen began to laugh hysterically. all of a sudden soobin felt warm liquid being poored on his head. from the smell and stickiness he could tell it was some sort of alcohol. it was revolting but he just accepted his very unfortunate fate.

his now wet and sticky hair covered his tear filled eyes, he couldn't help but cry. he suddenly felt the cold bottle smash against his face, a loud gasp left his lips as he could feel blood dripping from the side of his face. his head panged with pain, he heard a loud ringing noise and his felt like his head was going to explode, but he still looked down. he tried his hardest not to give his parents the satisfaction of looking hurt, he stayed strong. even though there was blood dripping down to his mouth, he could taste the mix of his salty tears and the blood.

this was a perfect example as to why he was going to end it...today.

he had had enough, it was time to end his own suffering. that was why he told yeonjun that he was sorry before. he knew that yeonjun might be the only one that actually cared a little bit. but the more that he thought about it, the more he believed that it would be better for them both. after all why would yeonjun want to care about someone as useless as himself? there was no use to love someone like him, he was pathetic.

published-27 january 2023