𝘀𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆 | 𝘆𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗯𝗶𝗻

18 | waiting for you

(10:57pm)
4th december

yeonjun's mother got there after a few minutes, she rushed to the reception asking for 'choi yeonjun and choi soobin'. the nurse escorted her to her son and without hesitation she wrapped her son in a warm, comforting, loving hug. this was really what he needed right now.

he needed closure, what he was going through was unexplainable he didn't know how to feel.

he cried and cried into his mother's shoulder, she patted her back to relax him. it took minutes before he calmed down the tiniest bit to be able to talk.

"what happened?"

"h-he, soo-soobin, he-" his mother rubbed his shoulder carefully,
"take your time honey, it's okay." she smiled,

he took a deep breathe before spilling his mind, "he tried to- to k-kill himself, i-i was there and the-the ambulance came and then he-he, we went in the van. mom, i can't lose him, i can't, i need him in my life, he- soobin is my soulmate, please," yeonjun's mother's heart broke, seeing her son so broken made tears gather in her eyes. she would have never wanted this.

"w-why, didn't you tell me soobin was s-suicidal?"

"his p-parents don't want people to know about wh-what they do. th-they hurt him mom! i tell him, that i- i can help him, he never listens, wh-why doesn't he listen! i love him for fucks sake!" his breathing was getting faster, he was panicking, his mom realised that he was beginning to have a panick attack.

he was gasping for air, it was like the air was being pulled out of his lungs in chunks, he couldn't breathe, his heart was picking up pace, the beats were like lighting. his body was shaking and trembling with fear and worry. cries and sobs left his eyes, yeonjun was hyperventilating, staring down at his lap while scuncing his eyes closed. he needed to breathe, but he couldn't.

yeonjun's mother was quick to wrap her arms around him.
"shh, my baby it's okay, soobin is going to be fine." she whispered while combing his hair through her fingers lovingly. her technique of calming him worked, after about five minutes his panick attack had relaxed down to slower breathes. yet, he was still crying,
"i love him, mom, please, i love him," he whispered.

"it's gonna be okay, the doctors will help him," she said quietly trying her best to soothe him.

he pulled away from the hug and looked at her in the eyes,
"h-how? how do you know h-he will be okay?" his eyes were filled fear, she could tell how clearly he needed soobin to be okay. but she knew exactly what yeonjun knew, she had no idea whether soobin would live or not. all she could do was reassure yeonjun, even though she was unsure herself, he needed her son to be fine for now.

"if you love him enough, then he will stay alive. he'll come back just for you, because he knows that you're waiting for him. you're not ready to let go right now, so he will hold on a little bit longer, just for you, he's a strong boy isn't he?" she smiled without her teeth, showing her two dimples on each side of her face, a tear ran down her cheek slowly, she reached out to touch the side of his face with love. she then, kissed yeonjun's forehead. "i love you yeonjun, and i know soobin is okay."

"i love you too mom," he rested his head on his mother's shoulder.

"you can rest for a bit my love, while we wait." she breathed.

"i love him mom," he said lastly,

"i know you do baby, i know you do."

they both just stared forward, yeonjun tried to rest like his mother said. but how could he. his mind was occupied and he couldn't rest, he didn't want to wait. but what else could he do. so he just cried while waiting. waiting for soobin,

his mother's words kept on replaying in his mind,

'he'll come back just for you, because he knows that you're waiting for him. you're not ready to let go right now, so he will hold on a little bit longer, just for you,'

please wait for me soobin, please come back. i'll be waiting, just for you.

published-3 march 2023