ecstasy || b.e

fight

some shuffling could be heard on billie's end before she sniffled.

"gosh, billie did you go on instagram?" y/n asked, sighing soon after.

"yeah." billie whispered. "i'm- i'm sorry."

"baby, i told you to trust me and not go on there." y/n spoke with a gentle voice, not wanting to make billie cry more than she already had.

"i know." she said, her voice hoarse from crying too hard. "i'm sorry." her voice cracked, y/n's heart breaking.

"billie, baby, listen to me. don't believe what those people say. you're more than good enough for me. you're perfect. and i like you, a lot. i love being with you, okay?" y/n spoke, trying her best to convince billie.

"how do i know you're not lying?" billie asked in a timid voice, making y/n frown to herself. "what if you're just lying to spare my feelings? y/n, i really fucking like you. and if i'm not good enough for you, please say so before i fall far too deep. i can't handle you leaving just like everyone else did." billie cried softly which only made y/n's heart hurt.

"angel." y/n started, her voice gentle and soothing. "i'm not going anywhere."

"that's what they all say." billie spoke, her voice breaking. "and then they just up and leave."

"i'm not going to do that." y/n said calmly. "billie, i know how much trouble you've had with your past relationships. but trust me when i say i'm not leaving. i'm yours and you're mine, okay?"

billie stayed silent for a few seconds, trying her best to calm down. "tell me right now if i'm not good enough for you."

"baby, how many times do i have to tell you that you're more than good enough for me?"

"how do i know you don't have someone else's dick down your throat?" billie spat out, y/n taken aback by her change in tone and choice of words.

"what?" y/n questioned, her eyebrows furrowed. "where's this coming from?"

billie let out a shaky sigh as she spoke up. "you didn't tell me about all the shit people were saying about me on the internet. who knows what else you're not telling me?"

"billie i didn't tell you about that because i wanted to spare your feelings!" y/n raised her voice slightly, unable to hold back anymore.

"yeah? well maybe you're not telling me that you're cheating just to 'spare my feelings'" billie yelled back, not containing her sobs anymore.

"why can't you just trust me?" y/n spoke, choking on her words. billie stayed quiet, not knowing what to say. "i can't believe you think so cheaply of me." y/n whispered once she realized billie wasn't going to say anything. "you know what? i'm done." and with that, y/n hung up, both the girls now sobbing messes.

billie threw her phone across the bed as she brought her knees close to her chest, burying her face in them while crying into them. she punched the mattress, feeling the most frustrated she'd been in a while.

she immediately regretted saying all those things to y/n. the girl was only trying to comfort her, she didn't deserve what billie said. and deep down, billie knew y/n wouldn't do that to her. she just said some hurtful things in the heat of the moment and now she couldn't take it back.

billie stayed in that exact position for a while, trying her best to calm down and compose herself. it took her a while but she finally did so, just in time for her manager to barge into her room, startling her.

"billie, you have an interview soon. start getting ready." he said in a monotone voice, walking out soon after.

she furrowed her eyebrows. an interview right before the show? she forgot how busy tour could get. sighing, she got up and did as she was told.

throughout the interview, billie was as anxious as she'd ever been. she'd shot y/n a text right before, telling her that she was sorry, and y/n hadn't replied yet. she kept holding onto her phone, hoping that she'd feel it vibrate. and everytime it did, she checked to see if it was y/n. but to her dismay, it never was. she knew her team was going to raise the devil with her for her behaviour during the interview but right now, that was the least of her concerns.

she snapped out of her thoughts when she realized her interviewer had called out to her about three times. quickly mumbling an apology, billie asked to be excused as she stood up and made her way to a room in the back.

"fuck." she whispered as she ran her fingers through her hair, knowing she was about to get yelled at by her manager any second. she quickly took out her phone and clicked on y/n's chat, hoping she'd responded.

billie
i'm sorry. can we talk?
read at 2:17 pm

a few tears crowded her eyes when she realized that she'd been left on read, but she quickly wiped them away. y/n had opened the message a few hours ago but still hadn't responded. she knew she must be really pissed off.

"billie, what was that?!" her manager came barging into the room, raising his voice as he spoke.

"listen, danny, i just- i'm out of it today. i'm sorry." billie spoke, getting ready to face the music.

but to her surprise, she didn't hear any yelling from him. instead, he just sighed before speaking. "alright. you best get better before the show. i'll reschedule this interview for tomorrow."

billie gave him a slight smile as a silent 'thank you' before he walked out, leaving her alone in the room. she sighed before she started collecting her belongings, soon being accompanied by her family who knew better than to ask what was bothering her.

she didn't blame y/n for being mad at her. hell, if anything she was surprised y/n wasn't yelling at her right this instant. but the silent treatment hurt her more than any yelling could. billie was a really touchy person - she constantly had to touch or be touched. and now that they had to do long distance until tour was over, talking to y/n every chance she got was the only way she could confirm that y/n still liked her. and now that that was gone, billie didn't know what to do. and she certainly didn't like it one bit.

as she was about to step out of the building and into the vehicle right behind her parents and her team, finneas stopped her by pulling her by her wrist. turning around to face her brother, she furrowed her eyebrows.

"billie, wait. what's going on? talk to me." he showed genuine concern but right now, billie couldn't be bothered.

"nothing. just leave me alone, please." she said back. but finneas being the stuborn redhead that he was, he pried once again.

"no, come on. tell me what's wrong. is it something to do with y/n?" he asked and billie immediately tensed up. how he always guessed correctly she could never figure out.

"finneas, i can't deal with this right now. i don't want to yell at you so i'm telling you nicely to fuck off."

-----------------

i'll probably end this book somewhere between 50-60 chapters because otherwise it'll never end😭

thanks for reading <3