End Game

To New Beginnings

OLIVIA

When I got home from my trip, all I wanted to do was go to bed and rest. I had spent the best two weeks of my college life so far, except for the accident part.

I still had to gather my thoughts about that part of my trip, because I still didn't know what actually happened that night.

One day when I got home from school and was about to go upstairs, Layla called me over to the living room, where I found her sitting on the couch with Coop.

Immediatly feeling a bit awkward, I simply sat down next to Layla and did not say a word.

"I just wanted us all to have a sitdown about the situation at home, but Patience went to see her parents, so we'll just have to do without her... And from what I gather, you two don't really need to have a conversation, seeing that you've spent your break together."

Layla did not seem jealous, but she sounded a bit hurt.

"She's the only one who actually wants to be around me." I fired back.

"Says who? You see, Liv, that's your problem. You assume the worst from the people who care about you and take your distances without warning. It's like you don't trust any of your relationships to stand the test of time!" Layla replied.

"Did they ever, Layla? When I spiraled, everyone sort of abandoned me, thinking they were helping me by giving me space. When the two of us fell out, you assumed that was what I wanted and never bothered trying to have one conversation with me. And just when I was about to believe it was all in my head, what does Spencer do? Leaves me, like everybody else does when it gets too hard to love good old Olivia!" I spit out.

I stood up, too upset to stand the conversation any longer.

"Olivia, don't run away! This is the stuff you need to tell us, so that we understand you better!" Layla said.

"I never ask anyone to explain why they're in pain, because I know how hard that can be... I'm just there for everyone, regardless. So why does everybody else holds me to a different standard? Am I not allowed to mess up and not have it together? To have passions? To live in my truth?"

"Yeah, but not when your truth destroys people's lives, Olivia! You don't understand the damage you're doing!" Coop interjected.

"Girls, let's all calm down for a second."

Layla tried diffusing the situation, but I had had enough of it all.

"Do let her speak her mind, Layla. Coop has such strong opinions about who I am and what I should do. I bet you're delighted that I'm out of Spencer's life now!"

"Olivia, I have nothing against you! I just want you to admit how wrong things have gotten because you put everything else above your relationship!"

I held my breath in, trying hard not to breakdown. Seeing as I miserably failed to do so, I just started speaking again.

"Don't you think I know that better than anyone else? Why do you think I'm staying clear of him and all of you guys? I know my part in all of this, and I have accepted what I have created... Now, please, let me move on with my life... Let me..." I stopped.

My sobs took over my whole body, making me numb.

"Let me be me! If I'm so hard to be around because I only care about me, then let me be... Please!" I added.

Without realizing it, I let my body fall to the ground as I cried with my whole soul. I guess it was hard to watch, because Layla sat down next to me on the floor and cried with me as we hugged.