End Game

Like It Never Happened

SPENCER

Olivia and I faced each other in a complete silence. Even though I was the one who suggested that we should talk, I did not know how and where to start.

"Okay, simple tap water or bougie sparkling water?" She asked me.

In true Olivia Baker's style, she took all of the tension I felt at that moment away with one simple joke. There was nobody else who knew how to navigate through my feelings so well.

"Let's be modest today." I joked back.

"Thank God, we ran out of sparkling water anyways." She admitted.

I smiled and shook my head lightly.

"So, what's up?" She asked after handing me a glass of water.

We sat down in the living room and I took a sip of my drink before looking at her. Being this close to her stressed me out, because there was nothing I could do about the way she made me feel.

Was I really ready to lose it all? Forever?

"Spencer?" She spoke again.

"Listen, Liv... Coop told me about your conversation from a few days ago."

"I figured."

"I feel like we need to talk... about us."

She looked puzzled for a second.

"What else is there to say?" She asked me.

"We need to put an end to whatever this is." I finally said.

She didn't respond but instead clenched her jaw in apparent frustration.

"What do you mean?" She asked, stretching out every word.

"I feel like we're playing around reality... I should accept that we're no longer together and let you move on with your life, even if it means giving you more space."

"More space than what we're already doing? Just say that you don't want to be my friend then." She replied.

"That's the thing... I don't think we can be friends at the moment. We've got so many unresolved issues between us that a friendship will be way too hard to handle... At least on my part." I admitted.

As hard as it was to say that, I had to do something about the situation. To be perfectly honest, I LOVED Olivia with my entire being. I was so in love with that girl that it scared me.

If Coop had asked me that day who made me happy period, Olivia would have definitely been the name to come out of my mouth. Asking me who made me happy right now was a safe exit for me, because my feelings for Olivia frightened me so damn much at the time.

The day I broke up with her I immediately regretted it and wanted to run after her to take it all back, but feeling so helpless about a decision I had made got me a bit worried.

Why did I think I wouldn't be able to live without her? Why was I having such a hard time being myself without her?

I didn't like feeling like I depended on her to be me, just like I hated feeling like the relationship was slowly eating her alive.

"Olivia, we're not good for each other right now... I keep hurting you and you're stopping yourself from living because of me, when the main reason why we broke up was for you to let your light shine." I added.

"Correction, you broke up with me without giving me one chance to actually talk about it."

"You had all the time in the world to communicate when we were still together, Liv! And yes, I know that it was my decision! I know, and I'm gonna have to deal with that for the rest of my life, but we need to move on... You need to forgive yourself for whatever weigh you're putting on your shoulders right now, and I... Liv, this is hard on me too."