Wanted For Pleasure: vol 2

Chapter 10: s p a c e

"In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves."

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𝑪𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔

"I think I gotta breakup with Morgan." I vent to my father at the bar in his hotel.

He looks at me like I just said I killed his grandmother.

"Why on Earth would you do that, son?" He sounds taken aback, looks it, too.

I pull the glass from my lips and swallow. "I don't deserve her."

"Of course you don't; most men think that."

I shake my head. "This is different. She's too good for me, I'm fucking everything up."

"Everything like what?"

"I killed someone, Dad-"

"No you didn't!" He roars. He quickly looks around at other patrons and fixes his volume.

I blink at him and he gets out of my face.

"No you didn't. I did. Don't even worry about that, it's done and over with. What else you got?"

"I'm fucking traumatized and I don't want to hurt her."

"She's stuck around this long."

"That's the thing, she shouldn't have to."

"You get a good girl like that, you don't let her go, trust me. Look at your mother, she's dealt with all my shit."

"I don't want Morgan to have to deal with me, that's the thing."

"Son," he sighs. "I understand what you're saying, but that's just your inner saboteur. Listen to me good, work through it. Morgan is struggling just as much as you are. Shutting her out just to save yourself will not help."

"I'm not shutting her out to save myself, it's to save her."

He shakes his head. "Me and your mother told you last year that you ruin good things. You're doing it again. Haven't you known Morgan long enough by now to know she has a good, pure heart? That girl will do anything for you."

"I don't want her to, is what I'm trying to say."

"So, what, you're going to dump her for some girl who doesn't give two shits about you? Tell me you hear yourself right now. You're scared of committing, is that it? Things are moving fast, son, Malcolm dying, your promotion, moving in together."

"Yeah and I feel like, before, Morgan and I were just fun, now it's, like, real life shit and I don't know, reality hit me. Hard."

He pats my back strong one good time. "That's called maturing, son, it's not a bad thing. Forgive me for asking, but is this about something else? Someone else?"

"What?" I retort, my face curled.

He throws his hands up. "Just seems out of left field, that's all. You did all that for Morgan, now it's like you put work first and the fact that you're even thinking about breaking up?"

He puts some bills down to cover the tab and then pats my back but I shake his hand off.

The second time I've been accused of wanting to be with someone else. And if I had a penny for every time someone has used my work ethic against me.

~

"So, are you going to tell me what brings you here, really?" Doctor Hassan asks me, removing her glasses.