Make Me Yours(18+)

Only Love Can Hurt Like This

PORCHAY

It was late at night and was raining quite hard. Raindrops were trickling down the window pane. I did not close the window. I let the small drops of rain hit my face. The water started to trickle down my face to my collarbone and just before it could seep into my T-shirt I wiped it off.

It was not just rainwater that was trickling down my cheeks. But also tears.
Tears of pain. Not physical but emotional. I wanted to let go, to forget everything. The cold water constantly hit my face but my cheeks were warm and red. Probably due to too much crying.

Suddenly there was a huge lightning. I guessed that the thunder crashed somewhere nearby. The sound was great and I felt it struck right through my heart. I could feel my heart stop for a moment before it started beating frantically.

Suddenly the lights went off. Most probably a powercut. I felt like I heard some shouts. Maybe the bodyguards of the main family were trying to switch on the generator. I did not pay much attention. In the last few days I remained quite absentminded. I had no interest in literally anything. But I tried to act normal. The others do not need to know my situation. Hia does not need to know.

And most importantly "he" does not need to know. "He"does not need to know that I am unhappy. "He"does not need to know that I am heartbroken. "He"does not need to know.....anything. "He"does not deserve to know anything about me. P'Kim....does not deserve me.

That's what I had been saying to myself for the last month. I tried to pull myself together. I tried to be more composed and act maturely. I wanted to forget him and all of his memories. I wanted to become stronger. So I started to make new friends. I dyed my hair purple. I wanted to show him that I am not weak anymore.

But why was he still following me. Why did he follow me to the bar on that day? Why did he fought with my senior? Why did he care? What was his motive again? Even if I did feel a bit guilty after being caught by him, what was his need to follow me? Why was he trying to save me?

If he did care about me so much then why did he leave? And if he didn't then why was he still following?

It took me so much time to overcome the pain he gave me. Even if I know that I'll never be able to overcome it completely, still I tried. Even if the state that I am in cannot be called happy, I was trying to become normal.

But he destroyed everything again. All my efforts were in vain because of him. Just at the moment I accepted my fate he sent me that clip. It left me devastated. Why did you do it P'Kim? Why are you playing with my emotions? Why did it turn out like this?

I won't accept you. Even if my heart hurts like hell, even if I know that I cannot live without you, even if it actually hurts me more than it hurts you, I won't let you come back to my life. I won't let you play with me again.

I suddenly remember the day at the bar...

FLASHBACK

It was just some days after my heart breaking meeting with P'Kim. I was in the bar with some of my seniors from our faculty. I dyed my help purple. It was just 2 days I started hanging out with them. They invited me with them and of course I did not say no because I wanted to show P'Kim but I am no more a child and I also can do things that he can.

"Hey Porchay try this"

I snapped from my thoughts as I heard one of my seniors saying. He offered me a drink whose name I don't know. For a moment I did not wanted to take it. But then I remembered P'Kim's words,

"Yes. Otherwise why would I give you guitar lessons"

I felt my cheeks reddening up with anger. I took the drink from his hands and drunk it all in once.