A Starting Point

CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO - AN AMAZING CHANGE

Heloyse

The next morning, Will was beaming. The pale jeans, contoured to the muscles of the legs and the dark blue shirt with the first few buttons undone, made him attractive.
We were sitting in a restaurant in Quincy Market(19) while watching me eat my lobster bisque(20).
- What? I asked smiling.
"That's not something I would eat."
"Then you're missing out on something really good."
“A strange cream on something strange.
“Why don't you try it?
“Don't make me do this, sunshine. I have enough of what's in front of me.” She pursed her lips looking at her lobster roll(21).
- Please, try!
“I don't know where I was thinking when I let you choose.
I chuckled and waited for him to take a bite. He took a bite, chewed a bit, looking at me seriously and swallowed.
- And then?
“I can live with that. Although I prefer not to see it in front of me... For a few years.
“Don't lie, Will. I know you liked it.
- Not even! he said and then bit down hard.
“You're a big kid.
He laughed.
And we see each other all week.
We went to the Freedom Trail(22) to the New England Aquarium(23) to the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum33, but of all the places we went, the best was in the square in the neighborhood where I lived.
We sat for a long time, enjoying our ice creams, on a bench, acting like a simple loving couple. Simplicity was something that defined him. Will was extremely rich, but everything he did was simple and that made everything around us familiar.

We had no intimate moments in that period. We knew that sex was not important between us. When this becomes a priority in a relationship, the day sex is lacking, there will be nothing left to sustain the relationship.
We were kissing, we had our hands intertwined, but, I knew Will wanted to give this to me. He wants to be thoughtful, romantic and most of all, a friend.

***

On Friday, Will would go home.
I woke up and stayed in bed, curling up. The weather was a little chilly and my duvet was deliciously cozy.
I heard the doorbell ring and thought maybe he'd come a little early. I put my sweater on over my pajamas and smiled, walking quickly to open the door.
I confess I was a little disappointed.
Michael was standing in front of my door. Julie was in the back, asleep in the car seat. My heart always rejoiced when she saw her. I still had that feeling of sadness, every time I remembered that one day, I almost became a mother.
The cold wind touched my skin and crossing my arms, I clutched my sweater. He didn't get out of the car, he stayed seated with his hands on the steering wheel.
"Isn't it too early?"
"Good morning to you too," he said, smiling.
- What you want?
“I just want to apologize for yesterday. Only that. I stopped and thought about what you said. Really, he was not to blame for what happened. I want you to be happy, whoever you are with, and I promise not to meddle in your life.
“I appreciate it.” I smiled. "Did you come just for that?"
- Yes and no! Could you stay with Julie, just for a little while? Alice is at work, Erick is still at Finn's house and I got a call from the realtor. Some clients want to see a house and I need to replace Mayer urgently. He had to go to the doctor, he wasn't well. Since I was taken by surprise, I don't have time to arrange a babysitter. I could take it, but I don't think it would be nice. I don't want to work either...
“It's not work at all. I'll love it.
- Thanks! You really are the best person I've ever met. Despite everything, she is always willing to forgive, to help... I, in her place, would not be able to be like that.
— I'm just tired of crying, of suffering... When I release forgiveness, I feel like a burden is off my shoulders. I'm not saying I'm going to accept everything they do to me. Just that there are things that we can pass an eraser if necessary to have peace of mind. I did it and I don't regret it.
He nodded, giving me a friendly smile, got out of the car and handed Julie to me, along with a bag.
Hours later, Julie was lying on my soft rug, a small pillow behind her head, while she looked curiously at the children's cartoon that was playing on the TV.
I hadn't been able to sleep through the night. There was so much to think about, that my mind never turned off. I was looking forward to seeing him again. But then what? What would happen?
I sipped my coffee and looked at my phone. There was no call or message from him.
The drawing ended and I put it on a channel where reruns of old programs were shown. I laughed when Kermit danced.
The doorbell rang, I got up with a start and went to open the door with a smile. My smile widened when I saw him standing still.
- Hey.
- Hey. Goes into.
Will walked past me and waited for me to close the door.
"I thought you weren't coming."
"I said I would come."
"Of course... Do you want to sit down?"
"Not before kissing her."
It was taking me a while to get used to all of this. I was loving it, even though I couldn't help how unreal it all felt. I was afraid that this was all over.
He sat down, looked at Julie as if she were something from another planet, and took his time, watching her.
"I'll get you some coffee." I will be back in a moment.
He remained silent, still looking at her.
In the kitchen, I took out my vibrating cell phone in my pocket. I saw a message from Ashley saying that Johnson would take her to see Clearwater. I replied to the message and put the phone away.
The name of the city and how much I missed that place hit me hard. There wasn't a day that I didn't think about that place.
I went to the coffee maker, poured coffee into a cup and a sound caught my attention. I walked slowly, thinking I had imagined things and something surprised me.
Julie laughed while Will said something to her. Chubby little hands cupped both sides of his face. Her hand went to his hair and tugged. Will mimicked a pained sound, causing her to laugh harder. He got up with her on his lap and lifted her, making her a plane. Her little body was stretched out over his hands as she squealed with joy. He returned to the previous position and held her in his lap, looking at her for a few seconds.
Oh, Will would be a wonderful father and I wanted to be there when that happened. I would like to be the woman who would give you a family.
Then, as if something caught his attention, he glanced at the TV, which was still showing Sesame Street. He stood there with Julie on his lap. He sat up and stood there, transfixed, as he stroked her little hair. When Kermit the frog began to sing, Will, his eyes glued to the TV, sang along and then, directing his gaze to Julie, sang to her.
He turned around and when he saw me he gave me a smile.
and... Oh, my God... He was shy.
“She makes me do these things. I can't say "no".
I let out a chuckle, going to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee and then pour it.
“You would be a great father.
He took a sip of coffee and then looked at Julie who was now lying in her highchair, yawning.
“I didn't think so. After I went to therapy, I thought that if one day I was a father, maybe I wouldn't be the best, but I would do everything to show my son how much I love him. Today I know, I will never be like my father or his father. I can be whatever I want and what I want is not to be like them.
“I'm glad. Oh, Will…I'm so glad to hear you've reacted.” I wiped away a single tear.
Will set the cup on the coffee table, pulled me onto his lap and I snuggled in there. There was no place in the world that felt as good as his arms.
“The day I arrived and we made love, I didn't ask if you were taking your pills.
“I wanted to talk about it. I am, so don't worry. I swear it's true.
- You did not understand; I didn't ask because I don't care.
- You mean that...
- Yea. That's it, sunshine.
The tears welled up and I touched her face.
- You are so different. What took you so long, Will? It's been two years facing hell.
“I was afraid it was too late. Besides, I couldn't have come sooner. I needed to change myself. I wanted to introduce myself to you as a new man who is willing to have a new life. And even if you didn't want me anymore, I needed to come, even if it was painful for both of us. I needed your forgiveness. The way I broke up with you left a hole between us. Even if one of us no longer wanted the other, forgiveness would be necessary. Time heals many wounds. I learned that. But, holding grudges or having that feeling of remorse for what you did or for never apologizing, weighs a lot. You were hurt, I had that guilt on my back... I needed to come. I still need your forgiveness.
“You have him, Will. And you don't know how happy I was to see you. But at the same time, I was scared of you leaving again, and I'm still scared. I don't want to go back to Clearwater and not have you, and I don't want to stay here with you so far away. I know I can't force you to do anything. I can't force him to be with me, being my boyfriend or anything else.
He tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear, then kissed my lips, slowly, softly...
— Lisy... — he spoke my name softly — I want to love you today and always. And I never imagined that one day I could be happy. It's you who makes this happen to me. I found by your side, a thousand reasons to want to be with you. One of them is that you are the only one that makes me want to be better. And you're the only one that makes me want to have a family. You broke something inside me. He did what no one could. When I thought you might have gotten back together with Michael, I felt like something that was needed in my life was gone. I'm in love with you, with your delicacy, your sensitivity... I love everything about you, from your way to every curve of your body. I love your tone of voice when you call me a cowboy, the sound of your laugh and even your moans when you're in my arms. You are the reason that makes me want to wake up everyday and live. So Lisy, stay with me until the end of our lives. Please! Say you want to marry me.
The first time we made love, I remember thinking the world wouldn't be worth it if it weren't for loving him. And you know what? I still thought the same way.
The voice had abandoned me and so I could only throw myself on its neck and cry even harder. I always had a melting heart. He got up and we continued there, holding each other, while I washed my soul in his arms.
"I hope that's a 'yes.'
I laughed and kissed him.
“You'll have to put up with me all your life, Mr. O'Connor.
“A lifetime is too little. I would like to be with you, now and for all eternity. If I was once hurt, I'm not anymore. You are my cure, Heloise. I'm alive, thanks to you.
"I love you, cowboy!"
Then he laughed and kissed me.

(19)Quincy Market: Shopping center with shops, restaurants, three historic market buildings and a pedestrian street, located at 4 S Market St, Boston, MA 02109, USA.
(20)Lobster bisquet: Lobster stew, served in a bun or directly in a bowl. It has the texture of a custard and is made with potatoes, onions and sour cream.
(21)Lobster roll: Lobster roll sandwich with mayonnaise (cold) on a hot dog bun.
(22)Freedom Trail: Is a 2.5-mile-long path through downtown Boston, Massachusetts, that passes 16 sites significant to United States history.
(23)New England Aquarium: Aquarium located in Boston,
Massachusetts. In addition to the main aquarium building, attractions at the New England Aquarium include the Simons IMAX Theater and the New England Aquarium Whale Watch, which is open from April to November. 33 John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum: This is the presidential library and museum of John Fitzgerald Kennedy, the thirty-fifth President of the United States.