Written on the Stars

Miracle

(39 weeks pregnant)

The bathroom was hushed, the only sound was the water waves splashing against the tub's wall and the sound of small bubbles popping as I settle into the warm bath. I felt at peace sitting in the tub with bubbles surrounding me. The room was dark with only a candle enlighting the small room.

The orange flame flickered and danced in the wind, setting off a lilac aura and relaxing me.I rubbed my stomach that was starting to tire me. It would be there for at least 2 weeks and then it would be gone. It would be weird not to touch my stomach for support or being able to jump out a bed without needing help or looking down to see my feet and not my big belly that held a baby inside. Instead, I'll be holding a baby for support and looking down on him rather than my feet and getting out of bed to comfort him as he cries.

I lifted one of my legs out of the water, I felt like I haven't seen my feet in years.

I jumped from the sudden jolt of pain in my stomach. It has been like this since I woke up and I thought a healthy breakfast and a relaxing bath would help sooth the small pain. I guess I was wrong. 

The pain felt like period cramps and it came about every ten minutes. I prayed that it was just false contractions and that it would go away in not too long. I wasn't prepared to have a baby right now, I still need to put things and go to more classes or to be alone for a bit longer.

Please. 

Just stay in there for a bit. 

I felt my stomach tighten and I squeezed my eyes shut as I tried to breathe in and out. I tilted my head back and I brushed my stomach as I did.

I opened my eyes when I felt the pain slowly resort back to a dull pain that didn't bother me.I've experienced a lot of false labors the past week and this has got to be the worse and most painful one yet. 

After about 5 minutes, I felt the pain strike again but it was stronger. It felt like the worse period cramps I've encountered. I quickly hoped from the tub. I regretted it imminently for the pain became worse until I felt like I was being run over by a train several times. I raced to sit on the toilet because I felt my legs shake from fear. 

It's okay, Monica, it's going to be fine I thought to myself as I felt a rush throughout my stomach.Once the pain finally left I got out and looked down at the toilet seat. 

I felt frozen. 

A puddle of water was on the toilet.

My water broke.

I forgot all of my relaxing methods and started to panic. My deep breaths became difficult and my hands that rubbed my belly shook. I'm going to have a baby. 

I instantly wrapped the towel around myself and stubbed to my room to get dressed in my pajamas. 

I walked to Felicia's immediately after I was done getting dressed.I wasn't even finished putting on my shirt before I began walking to her door. I pounded on it the door and she opened it in no time. 

"Monica?" She looked up and down at me. I didn't have time to dry off so water soaked through my clothes and I couldn't find air to breath.

"I think I might be in labor," I stuttered and leaned against the door and fanned myself. She gasped and ran to me, holding my arms to help me stand.

She walked me to her bed, laid me down, and handed my her cell phone,"Have you called the hospital yet?" Asked Felicia as she began dialing 911.I snatched it from her hands.

"I can't call this early." I settled the phone on her nightstand,"We have to wait at least an hour or something." 

"Do you need anything? A drink? food? A fan? Medicine?"She raced, ripping her hair with her hands in stress. 

I turned to my side,"I just need to relax," 

She was quiet for a secret," Would you like me to put in a movie?" 

Finally, something that sounds good for once. "Sure," I mumbled, resting my eyes as I heard her scavenge for a decent movie. 

___

I felt so alone in the hospital.Once I got there, they wheeled me into a cold scary room that looked big and empty. I wanted to hold Gilbert's hand, I wanted him to see his son, I wanted him to help the pain. Even his annoyingness would be comforting right now. 

I felt so cold even with the blankets over my body. Strangers surrounded me, giving medicine and checking me. I don't know If I could do this. I'm all alone in a bleak room with no love to uplift the pain.I didn't cry because I knew nobody could wipe away my tears.

Reality struck me so hard. I'm going to be holding a baby soon, a baby that would have to be raised with no father. I'll have to do this alone, all alone.

Please. Gilbert, help me, rip away the agony, hold my hand, hug away the pain, kiss my dry lips, hold the baby once it cries, sing him to sleep once he's lonely, embrace him once he's scared, love him forever. 

Please.