FILTHY || J.JK

9| Beg for love

. . .

"Can you count my fingers?" The doctor inside the infirmary room asks me and I struggle to open my eyes, I only see his fingers in front of my eyes. "Three."

"Okay, she's fine now." He declares it, sliding back to his desk with the rotating chair, I sit up abruptly, fixing my skirt which rode up and was that way since how long, I cannot tell. I'm not embarrassed because he's a doctor, but I'm rather anxious for some reason, scared because of my stepfather who's standing near the door and peeping inside.

As soon as my eyes meet his, he comes inside the room and causes my blood pressure to increase, which I clearly see in this machine, the cloth still wrapped to my upper arm.

"Hey, it's okay. Calm down. The teacher won't scold you." He assumes that I'm afraid of the history teacher who stepped inside after Jungwoo, but I stay silent and put my legs down the bed, watching the screen of the machine which stopped beeping. "My baby, are you fine...?"

My head is still hitting from the back, but I nod to his question full of pretendence, giving in to my fear and not saying the truth.

He touches my arm but holds my hand, gently, and hurts me with his look in his eyes, "come, we'll go home." I stare up at him, but shake my head, taking my hand aback, "no, please. I'm fine." I lie but at least, I won't be getting any more emotional pain which is worse than this physical one that I can handle.

He shoots daggers at me with those eyes but acts fine and calm around the doctor and teacher, and his bigger hand squeezes mine, "you don't seem fine to me, darling. Take an off today. Mister Jang, I'm taking her home."

He just needed one excuse and he found it; I gave it to him.

I hate myself, I wish I wasn't so weak and shitty that I would faint just because I skipped a day's food, I hate everything and everyone. I just wish to die before I reach home with this person who's a monster in disguise and took advantage of his own stepdaughter more than once, even worse, when I was only a minor.

"Can you walk?" Since everything has already been decided by him, I simply take my jacket from the bed and walk outside, even if I'm having trouble stepping one foot down at a time; I still walk on my own.

"Thank you, goodbye." I walk fast, going into the car, or maybe planning to run off to Haerin's playschool before Jungwoo catches me. I don't know and I cannot think in a right way which will protect me from harm. "Slow down, you're gonna faint again." His hand grabs my wrist, and he stops my fast movements, chuckling softly.

I turn to him but see him hold onto my bag, and he notices my angered face, "I can walk." Unexpectedly, my voice comes off as a harsh one, and I snatch my bag from him, walking fast and not listening to him this time.

"You're such a bad thing." He just doesn't seem to stop. He holds my hand with a stronger grip, hurting me unintentionally or maybe intentionally, and he drags me towards the parking lot where his car is parked. "Stop touching my hand!" I scream now once we're away from the building, and his face that turned sharper gets scarier and he leaves my hand but walks over to me, intensifying my pulsating blood which is already flowing heavily without any effort.

"Dare to raise your fucking voice again, and you see what I do." I stick back to the pole, wishing to die under the open sky, scared and anxious with how his voice sounded.