FILTHY || J.JK

45| Sugary lies

"Do you mean it?" He pulls back and puts his eyes at my opening ones, staring into the depth of my soul with his sleepy and dark orbs which seem darker for some reason.

I slowly nod, my mind and heart having a conflict with my feelings. My brain tells me it's all happening only because he's drunk meanwhile my emotions tell me that he feels the same way for me, it's visible in his eyes. But to inquire further, his eyes express a mixture of feelings, some happiness and some pain colliding into one single vein.

"Do you...?" I lick my lips and his attention goes to them once more, I hope for him to ignore this question because I don't want to do this, not when he's not in his right mind and cannot think right.

Mister Jeon nods, "I do." His pained eyes piercing into mine, nothing feeling like a fake story that he's making up in his drunk mind. It's not helping me feel better, but for a good reason, my heart is happier and it's getting filled with a rush of dopamine coursing through my blood, insanely and endlessly.

"I-" he takes a step back on his own, retreating his warm grasp from my waist and leaving me cold. "I need to sleep."

He turns around as if he didn't just confess, or maybe he is simply saying things because he's lonely and sad. I don't know what to do or what to even think of saying in a response, so I stay in my position, frozen, my head running in circles. "Will you please stay?"

Not facing me, he removes his tie and clutches it tight in his wrist which he clenched. "I..." I take a glimpse at the wall clock hung on the corridor showing a quarter past one. I don't want to leave him and I'm assured of Haerin staying with Wonpil, so I agree. "I will." I put the plate of food inside the oven and wait for it to heat up so that he doesn't remain starving.

"Thank you, darling." Mister Jeon keeps the stuffs on the table and heads to me as I only see at his eyes, never finding it an easy task.

He places his lips on my forehead to kiss me and his manly, powerful cologne that still hasn't faded yet tickles my nose with its strong scent. His delicate touch provokes in me a sense of relief from pain, a kind of sweet warmth after being in snow for ages.

"I'll go to my room....I'll come soon." He moves to leave after whispering these words, walking much easily. "Do you want me to hold you while walking?"

He shakes his head and smiles kindly, his eyes almost closing, "I'm going to be okay. I feel better already."

He relieves me of it and I turn to pay attention to the oven when it started to beep. I take the other dishes and heat them for him too, and I pour some warm milk for him in a glass which will soothe his mind.

. . .

He comes down and right into the dining room where I already arranged his late dinner. "This looks appetising..." he checks the overview of the table and moves to me, his expression jovial and eyes not as red as they were. I smile against my will and look away from his soft gaze, dragging the chair for him to sit down.

"Hey. I can do it myself." He laughs lightly through his nose, sitting down and passing his injured hand to mine, "sit down next to me."

I sit down, watching mister Jeon pick up his chopsticks. His muscles flexing even when he doesn't uses much of his strength to move, the black vest that he's worn allowing me a free view of his sleeve and neck tattoos. "Have some."

He flies the spoon of corn and carrot soup to my mouth, the only dish that I made now because he needed to have some good nutrition in an easy way. "No need to, mister J-" He cuts me off and cups my jawline gently, coming closer, "please." His eyes not leaving mine, I taste only some of the soup to make him happy, not feeling good, not happy but not sad either.