FILTHY || J.JK

19| Hurt me

Jungkook's POV

10 PM

"Oh, you again, sir..." the local bartender recognising me, he offers me a smile. I take a seat down on one of the tall chairs kept, and face him, "hey. The same, please."

"Ah, I thought you'd ask for something different but never mind." Guessing my mood by the slightest expression of my face, he pours a little more than the standard amount, then does his job, mixes the drinks and before me, he serves a glass, "here's your Cosmopolitan, double iced up."

"Thank you." I hold the glass, frowning as my mouth leaves a small hiss, my head hurting from the migraines I've began to face again from out of nowhere from the past few days. "Is everything well?" Yakov murmurs, his voice audible to me in the loudness of the pub; he's sounding worried about me. "I don't know, to be honest." The bitterness arousing in my throat isn't due to the drink I just swallowed, I know this, "it's like, I'm just not able to do anything." I try to find the words through which I can open up or find a way to relieve myself from the load in my heart, "I'm numb. Nothing seems to amuse me nor make me sad or happy, not in any ways. My feelings....they seem to have gone, I just don't know. I'm incapable of doing anything that are not related to my work, it's as if I wasn't capable of having feelings."

Listening closely, he wipes the table after a customer had gone, having created a mess. "Have you tried talking it with your therapist?"

I stare up in his eyes with a blank blackness, not knowing what to say and how to react to it. He eventually will find it out. "Wait, don't tell me you stopped going there." He sighs while I feel like he's much more disappointed in me now after knowing that I have not visited my therapist in months. I continue to chug down the drink, ruining my liver in accordance to my will, trying to recall if I left my phone inside my car or if I hadn't brought it along with me at all.

The music and noise getting louder as the young guys and girls enjoy their night dancing out their hearts, we do our jobs in complete silence, not having any more communication. There's nothing else we can discuss about after I've disclosed about the cancellation of my therapy sessions. "Did you talk with Nami some time back?" I simply nod.

"Is Kitae doing well? How'd he find his school and new home? Does he like the skateboard?" My blurry thoughts clear out upon the mentioning of my son's name, I raise my free hand up to the table to lean my torso towards the concrete tile and sit comfortably, "yeah, he's in love with that skateboard. He's doing good, he just feels bored sometimes and gets a little lonely, like I do. And then we facetime...." a smile instantaneously forms up on my face as the memories of I and Kitae chatting, laughing together and cracking lame jokes flood my mind, "but he's happy with his school and he finds his own room a cool place, so that's very relieving for me."

"That's amazing, he's a sweetheart." Yakov takes the bill which got handed to me by a serving lady. He looks up at her, getting ready to pay for my drinks like he's not working here and is only my friend who's accompanying me. "It's on me. I didn't forget my wallet this time."

I take my wallet out and hand her the money, sipping my drink one last time to finish it, however, not affected by the flirtacious look she gives to me once she realises that there's some extra tip to herself. "Thank you, sir." Her soft hand brushes past mine as she grabs it and walks off after showing me her kindness which is a way of hers to express gratitude to the customers. And the sound of her heels clank away until it's all silent again.