FILTHY || J.JK

23| Soft man

. . .

"Is your sister at home?" He swallows the coffee he's been drinking since a while, then clears his throat, sounding like he's a little sick. "No. She's at the babysitter's place. She wanted to come today, but fell asleep. So I thought it would not be the best time to take her along with me."

"Oh, okay, no problem." I write down the answer to the question I know very well, feeling mister Jeon's eyes on me, the only one in this room. And I can also tell that he's wondering about my words, deeply. "Babysitter? Where's your parents? Are they not home?" He inquires about my private matters, not intending to get into my space, he's only being kind because he's worried.

"My mom is dead, and my step-father isn't home all day, so I can't let her stay by herself at home, all alone." I keep the pencil down, raising my head to give him a smile which expresses some relief, "that's why I have appointed a babysitter for her."

He stares at my lips as I'm speaking, but soon, his brows ease and the worried look disappears from his face. "Oh, so, okay. That's good. You did a right thing." He leans forward, keeping the cup on the table as his tattooed hand comes in my sight once again, "I'm gonna have to ask you this, how do you manage at home?" Mister Jeon's even more curious than before, he tilts his head but doesn't break the gaze, "it must be hard doing all the things by yourself, I can understand. You work at the parlour and you go to school, and even take care of the house and Haerin. How do you manage to do it all....?"

I wish I could talk to him about my problems, but I can't just do it, it's not like he can help. So what's the point of it?

Not knowing what to speak of, I break the eye contact and fiddle with the pencil in between my fingers, "I don't know. I just do it. It's sort of like, a routine, now. I've gotten used to doing them everyday." I lie about half of the things I said, knowing how hard it is, at times, for me, just to be me and have a life like this. "The only thing at stake would be....I guess, my studies."

I lick my lips, nervous to talk more, but somehow managing to open up a bit deep, "but you're teaching me far better than what I learn at school, and now I'm trying to improve and focus, so it's all good."

I let go of the thing in my hand, keeping it down as I glance forth at this man having all his attention on me, observing my slightest movements and hearing all the words leaving my mouth. I maybe said too much, but I don't know why I don't regret it. It's s an easy feeling in my chest, like something heavy has been lifted off.

"You're really an amazing person." His gentle voice catches me off-guard, I thought he'd never say something like this and just keep silent. I look up to see his sparkly gaze reach in my eyes, he leans forward and keeps both his hands up on the table to intertwine them, "at your age, only a few people can even handle themselves, but you're looking after all the things, that too, at once. It's amazing, you're such a strong girl for doing these stuffs whilst being a student. I'm glad that I could be of some help to you, sweetheart, even if not that much." His praises and kind words bring a new burst of emotion in my heart. I'm happy but I'm also sad, and my eyes have turned watery but my mind can't think of a single word to utter.

He really understood? Nobody else did. They just couldn't.

"Believe me, you're one strong person. And you're also a great sister and daughter, I'm sure your mother is very proud, darling."

My head lowers by itself, some tears slipping out my eye and my nose turning stuffy. I don't do this intentionally, it just happens. Mister Jeon rises from his chair, grabbing some tissues along the way as he comes to me. "Don't be scared or anxious about anything." He bends down and grabs the side of my face to make me look up at him as I can't see anything but a blurry image of him. He rubs the tissues on my cheek, with softness, and wipes my tear, "don't cry. You're doing a good job, hmm? If there's anything you want to tell me, or share with me, you can. Feel free." His tough hands caress my cheek very delicately, contradicting to how they look. He steps away to let me be, standing close to my body, nonetheless.

Sniffling like a weirdo, I nod my head, holding the tissues to wipe my eyes and not let him see the mess I am, right now. He's so sweet, I think that's just going to worsen what I feel towards him, which is very bad.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, hating how weak my voice sounded, "I just...got a bit overwhelmed." He flattens his manly, inked hand on my head to pat it, not seeming annoyed by me, not even a bit. "It's alright. Don't apologise. I'll bring you some water." He noticed that I didn't carry my bottle with me today, being in a hurry, so he goes out the room in order to get one for me.

His wife and son are really lucky to have him; mister Jeon is a very kind-hearted, compassionate and caring person.

"Here," he comes up to me, quick in his actions, and he hands me the cup of water. "Thank you." I grab it from him and take a sip, but just then, he fixes my hair, tucks it behind my ear to prevent it from getting in the way of the glass, "relax." My skin craves more of his warmth, the careful yet warm brushes of his hand, but I don't wait before taking the thought of it out my brain.

I can't be so stupid; he's married and has a son. But it bothers me why I never see any ring around his fourth finger.

"You're feeling better?" He takes the cup from my hand, murmuring, not raising the tone of his voice just to help me calm down. "Yes, I am." I feel my chest rising and falling at a better pace now, I somewhat feel good and better. Mister Jeon steps back and keeps feel cup on the table, not drifting his eyes off me as if he was being very observant to keep an eye on me, "let's take a mini break, come with me."

He asks me to follow him, so I do, wiping my face with my hands for the last time so that I don't touch it again and make a mess of the light make-up that I've worn.

"Do you like macaroons or any sweets, in general?" We walk through a different hallway, passing by some rooms which I don't know are for what, and then a pool area and finally, we come across a wet bar which is apparently next to the kitchen that mister Jeon goes inside. "I'm fine with any sweets, except the nut ones."

He rolls the sleeves of his grey flannel which had drooped down, looking at me with an eyebrow raised as I try not to peek at his toned arms and tattoos, "oh, are you allergic?" I shake my head, clearing his wrong assumption, "I'm not. I'm just not a fan of those." He listens to me while doing something, to be precise, resuming something which he had been working on. The kitchen is filled with the scent of milk and sweetness of breads, as if he had been baking earlier.

I stay by the corner of the counter, not knowing what to do, my gaze drops down to his hands once he holds one of the two piping bag containing of white cream.

Watching him squeeze the small amount of cream onto the flat side of the cookie, I hesitate, going a bit forward to stand by his side to get a clearer view of what he's doing. "You can sit right here, on this chair." He looks at his right, at the bar chairs kept in front of the kitchen island, not understanding that I'm much more fine with being here than going there and sitting on that thing which I hate. Those kind of chairs always seem tough for me to climb onto and they aren't even that comfortable.

"I'm fine," I stay where I am, finding it relaxing to watch him do this. "Have a taste." He holds the small macaroon comparatively seeming tinier because of his large hands, and brings it close to my lips, his eyes glancing down at them, "this doesn't contain many nuts."

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