FILTHY || J.JK

46| Cynicism

He leans down to pull my hair back from my shoulder, his drunken eyes never opening fully. I shake my head to let him know my thoughts without expressing them in words because I know I never can, I'm too much of a coward for it. A small smile rises on his lips, he licks the bottom one and rests his head back, "it's so weird why I feel happy but sad at the same time. I drank...too much, didn't I?

I focus on his lips as he says the words with no cover, very transparent. Mister Jeon nods like he had been convincing himself to agree with it since I don't say, agree or oppose of his words either.

I just sit in silence, things running in my mind that never stop, unable to discard those few seconds of our little intimacy from my memory.

"I should sleep." He keeps the emptied glass on the circle glass table, fixing his dishevelled hair, "it's late. You stay or not?" I contemplate with myself if I should probably not leave since he just started to feel better or should I just walk away and never face him again.

It's hard to make a choice right now.

"You can leave if you'd like." He stands up but doesn't look away from my eyes, seeming to find some sort of comfort through the soft eye-contact as his orbs radiate a saddened gleam.

"I'll stay till some time. Don't worry." Noticing how his disappointing sigh turns into a small smile, I smile as he comes closer and speeds up the beating of my heart again, "are you even real?" He laughs through his nose quietly, putting his hand over the side of my face and skimming his thumb over my scorching skin that keeps craving for more of his touch with every little touch from him.

I avert his soft gaze and look down at my feet, my face starting to feel hotter as I can feel that his stare is still on me.

He leans forth and my heart skips a beat or two, he puts his lips on my cheek. I unintentionally close my eyes but force them to open after just milliseconds, he moves behind but opens his dark ones and gives a small smile.

A part of me loses the ability to react in a certain way and I just stare at him as he stood up and kept the glass down, "let's get inside. It's getting cold."

He doesn't react the way I did, like it probably meant nothing to him. I don't say or do anything else and just stand up to move back inside the house with mister Jeon. I don't want my heart to break all of a sudden, so I must prepare myself for tomorrow when he sobers up and tells me that it never was intentional or that he doesn't even remember it.

. . .

Some minutes passing after mister Jeon has slept, I head upstairs and decide to check on him before I head back home at an unusual hour.

I open the door of his bedroom very slowly, peek inside at the dark place and see that his shirt is down on the ground and that the room is quite messy. It's strange because he's not the type of person to leave his stuffs untidy and unorganised, as long as I know him. He must've not been feeling well since some time, if this is the way his room is.

Tiptoeing inside the room, I pick up his shirt and leave it on the sofa next to his nightstand. His light snores relieving me of his sleep, I leave after closing the door.

I go downstairs and grab my bag, and not wasting any more time, I leave his house.

Next day

7 AM

A hand shaking my face to drag me out of my dreams, I open my eyes but frown when I see Wonpil in front of me, his hair all over the place and his face puffy as he bends down, "good morning miss, I think we might miss school if we do not hurry."