Thank you @charlie91706 for this request, I hope it's written the way you imagined:) This one shot is based on season 8 episode 11 of Chicago P.D. By Dick Wolf so full credit goes to him as I'm taking inspiration from the episode but all the writing in this is my own. Also another thing this one shot is based on is the song Anti-Hero (Taylor Swift)
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Hailey and the rest of the team had just wrapped up a difficult case and she was exhausted not just physically but mentally. Today as a whole had just not been great for her it started when Jay said "I love you" to her for the first time this morning, this wasn't a bad thing but she struggled hearing these words as it reminded her of her abusive father so when Jay said this something struck inside her and she just felt a need to get away, she ended up getting ready and making an excuse to leave her apartment without saying the three words back to him. Jay was always very understanding but since Hailey didn't communicate with him he was left feeling confused and Hailey was feeling a mix of painful emotions as she began to think about her painful past, this just caused there to be an awkward tension between them for the rest of the day as they knew they had to talk about what happened. Then while Hailey was driving after leaving her apartment she began going through the different stations on her police radio when she heard a situation that was happening and decided to check it out, it ended up being an abuse case where the father was abusing the mother and daughter and the team decided to take it on and work it. The whole day the team was working the case Jay was keeping a close eye on Hailey as he knew this would hit close for her and possibly bring up painful memories from her past and he was right it did and because of the personal connection Hailey felt to this case and how bad she wanted to solve it she ended up making decisions without thinking them through first and doing things that could put her in danger just in order to solve the case so she wasn't doing her job as responsibly as she should of been. All these behaviours didn't go unnoticed by Jay and throughout the day he had said a couple things to her to show his concern and try get her back on track a little more but she was too deep in it to listen to him so he eventually decided he was going to talk to her about it later and just continue keeping a close eye on her for the time being.
Hailey had just packed up all her stuff and was leaving the district to go to her car when Jay started jogging towards her to catch up with her before she left. "Hailey, wait up." Hailey stopped walking and turned around at the sound of Jays voice. "Please can we talk?" He asked once he finally caught up with her. "Sure." She said looking at him. "What's been going on with you today?" He questioned. "What do you mean?" She asked and shot him a confused look to try act like everything was okay and she had no idea what he was talking about. "You know what I mean Hails. You've not been yourself today, you've been doing things that could have a negative affect on your career without thinking of the consequences and I don't know why, I don't know if it's because the case we worked today reminded you of your past but I do know that this isn't like you so I just want you to tell me what's going on and how your feeling so I can support you and help you." Jay ranted telling Hailey exactly what he was thinking. "I don't need your help Jay, trust me I know how I was acting today wasn't okay and I'm beating myself up about it now so I really don't need a lecture from you I already feel like I was a problem today for the team due to the way I was acting and I really don't need you to make me feel like I'm one to you too." Hearing Hailey say this made Jay upset, he had no idea she was this self aware of her actions and he had no idea she felt this way about today.
"Hails I'm so sorry I had no idea you felt this way about yourself and I know me saying this won't necessarily change how you feel but you're not a problem and I'm sorry that I made you feel like you were one. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult the case we dealt with today was for you. Also I know this is probably not the right time to bring this up but I just wanted to apologise for what I said to you earlier I could tell I caught you off guard and I'm sorry if I scared you in any way as that wasn't my intention. I do want you to know that I did mean it but please don't feel like I'm expecting you to say it back or anything like that, there's no pressure at all, I promise." Jay said, he wanted Hailey to know he was sorry because he really was and the last thing in the world he wanted to do was upset her or make her uncomfortable. "Thank you Jay, I know you would never say anything with the intent of hurting me but you saying sorry means a lot and I'm also sorry for acting so strange today I really hope I didn't hurt your feelings when I left so fast this morning I just panicked and I didn't know what else to do." She rambled, Jay could tell there was more she wanted to say but she was hesitant and anxious to. "You didn't hurt my feelings, I was just confused that's all. Would you like to continue this conversation back at one of our apartment I just get the feeling you have more you want to say and maybe you'd feel more comfortable talking in one of our homes instead of in the middle of the district car park in the dark." Jay suggested. "Yeah I think that's a good idea, I could drive us to my apartment if that's okay with you." Jay was fine with this as long as Hailey felt comfortable that's all he cared about at the moment.
They drove to Haileys apartment and once they got inside Hailey poured herself a glass of wine and handed Jay a beer before they both went and sat on the couch. They spoke a little more about todays case and then Hailey managed to open up to Jay about why she found him saying "I love you." So frightening, she told him about the context those words were used in when she was growing up and told him a couple situations from her past that happened with her dad. Jay was nothing but understanding and listened carefully to everything Hailey said. They then both spoke about their relationship and Hailey told Jay she loved him and she really did mean it. He was gentle, patient and understanding with her and that meant more to her than she could ever explain.
I apologise for not uploading since Christmas time, I've been busy spending time with family and I had a small period of writers block where everything I was writing I ended up hating so I didn't think it was good enough to be uploaded but I'm back now and feeling refreshed and ready to get back into writing and make 2023 a year full of one shots and stories for you all! However these things means this upload is a few days later than I wanted it to be so I'm sorry about that but I just wanted to wish you all reading this a happy new year! I'm wishing you all a safe, healthy and happy 2023 and I can't wait to continue writing for you all this year!<3
Also since it is now the new year I feel like it's now a good time to let you all know I have something upstead related that's very exciting in the works at the moment thanks to a request from @charlie91706 and I might show a sneak peak of it in my next one shot if enough people are interested and want me to🤔
