My Sunflower

thirty four

I yawn loudly, looking out the small window toward the tiny cities below, lit up in strings of light that it looks like fireflies rippling against the night sky. We're on our way to the next city in Canada.

I fidget in the seat, my mind whirring with the fact that Jade and Harry are now going to let the press and the public run with this gimmic that they're a couple. I envy Niall for being okay with it straight off the bat. He found it funny, a joke, whilst I'm there wondering if Harry will ever love me.

He said he likes me and cares for me, that this is so we can continue being together without consequence. But sometimes words only go so far until they're trapped in a cage, and the monster is unleashed, dragging you into the depths of darkness.

I flop my head against the chair, sighing heavily. Harry is sat beside me, outstretched on the reclining chair, blanket on his torso and legs, eye mask over his face. He pulls the eye mask away, peeping an eye open.

"Are you okay, Sunflower?" he asks quietly. Most of the people on the plane are asleep now.

I bring my legs up under me. "Just too caught up in my thoughts. I can't sleep."

Harry sits up a little then, grabbing my hand and tracing patterns in my palm. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"It's nothing we haven't spoken about before. It's fine." I shrug a shoulder. "Distract my mind," I mumble.

Harry purses his lips. "How?"

I shrug again. "I dunno. What outfit are you thinking for Toronto? You gonna have the maple leaf on the back of your shirt?"

Harry smiles, shaking his head. "No, but that would be a good idea. I can't tell you that, there's no surprise if you knew."

I pout. "Will you sing Half a Heart?"

He shrugs a shoulder, grins. "Only if you want me to." He kisses my temple. "I'll sing it to show you what you mean to me. Our little inside secret."

A shiver runs down my spine and I have to refrain from tackling him and pinning him here and now. I kiss his neck, suckling on the sensitive spot until a moan rips from his throat and a speckled bruise is left where my teeth have just grazed over. I kiss the hicky.

"Please, don't fuck now, my ears don't want to hear it!" Celine chirps from one of the seats.

Ny'Oh is half asleep, nodding along to Celine's comment, grimacing at the thought. "I'm too innocent."

Mitch snorts. "Yeah, right." Sarah is fast asleep on his shoulder, him stroking her hair back soothingly. "I bet they've already done the mile high club right on this very plane."

Harry is all shades of red. I wink at him and turn in my seat to look behind where Mitch is. "And, what if we have?" I grin. "I know you've done it behind stage. The changing room walls are very thin, you should remember that for next time."

Mitch is a shade darker than Harry at that, ducking his head away from prying eyes.

"Filth! I'm surrounded by filth!" Pauli cries out, flopping into his seat. Carlos pats his hand.

Harry cards his fingers through my hair, pressing his palm into the side of my head to lower it onto his chest. "Come on, babe, let's try and get some rest."

I sigh heavily through my nose. I know he's right. I'll get grouchy. I haven't slept for the past 16 hours, but my brain hasn't stopped whirring.

He sooths patterns into my skin with one hand, the other still in my hair, and it seems to calm me. I rest my heavy eyes, snuggling deeper into his chest that smells so much like his cologne, calming that fear that buzzes in my mind into a low hum.