f o r t y - f o u r

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2 weeks later 

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2 weeks later 

I sit here at my brothers grave who we just laid to rest. I sit here thinking what could have I done so none of this happens again? I sit here and think about what other terrible things that the world had instore for me. I sit here and think how I will never here him say stupid shit again. I sit here and think about how he will never see me kiss the love of my life at our wedding. I sit here and think about how our sisters will be effected by this. I sit here and think about the impact this will have on everyone he loved and everyone who loved him.

Diamond, Me, Mama and Papa sat down with Liza. She didn't exactly understand at first but when she registered what we meant, she started sobbing. She comes in my room every night and sleeps with me because she misses her big brother. She turns on the show her and him would watch to fall asleep and then she would curl up with me 

Diamonds beautiful smiled how slowly faded more and more every single day. Mama can't stop crying and papa has to reassure her that he's okay and not hurting. It's hard on everyone. Especially Lauren. After that day he died, she hasn't shed a tear since. She ignores everyone and has zero emotion in her. 

She misses her husband and her bestfriend.

Aria is gone. 

We have no idea how any of what happend, happend so fast. We have no idea of who took her. It doesn't help that Lauren won't talk to anyone either. We have Gianna but she's not as advanced as Lauren so we have to grab Zayn to help her a lot. 

I miss my girl. Everything is falling apart day by day. We just got her back, now she's gone again. She hasn't eaten and she can't defend herself at all. She's completely helpless. 

Believe what you want, but she keeps everyone together and sane. 

I'm awake

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I'm awake. He's not next to me. The person I now hate but used to love was the first face I saw. He took me. He betrayed me. He basically took my heart out, slit it, crushed it, turned it to ash and then sprinkled the ashes back into me. 

My own brother. 

The guy I looked up to for so many years, the guy that I defended all those years. Betrayed me. 

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