Dabira's Diary

24

Monday 17th February

Dear Diary,

The midterm break went by really slowly this time
I got tired of staying home

Throughout the holiday, I just kept thinking about the past half term
I may have tried to develop a thick skin in school but I was still a bit sad and angry about what happened

I was tempted to tell Mummy what happened in school but I restrained myself because I didn’t want her to go to the school and cause a scene
I know my mother, she would never sit quiet and allow me to become a victim of such a thing

She asked me if anything bad happened in school,
“Why would you ask that, mummy?”
“Because my princess isn’t smiling as much as she used to and I’m getting worried”
“There’s nothing wrong ma, I’m just becoming a big girl”
“Becoming a big girl means you don’t smile often?” She gave me a pointed look
“Maybe” I responded while laughing
“Hmmm, okay ohh”

Another reason the holiday felt really slow and long was because of the tension at home

I’m not entirely sure what happened, but mummy and daddy weren’t speaking to each other
I noticed it the same day I got back home, it probably began before then

That night, I overheard them arguing in their room

Well, it was more of Mummy shouting and Daddy trying to calm her down. I tiptoed to their door to hear what was actually happening
“Femi, I wouldn’t be this angry and disappointed if it was with someone else, but Adetutu, my sister?!!”
“It was a stupid mistake, I wasn’t in my right state of mind”
“Oh really?”
“I just heard that the project I was supposed to work on was given to someone else, so I slipped back into my drinking habit and I was a bit tipsy. You and Iyanu were staying at the hotel that his school provided for those participating in the competition”
“Femi, go straight to the point quit giving me all this story”
“I needed someone to comfort me, she said she would comfort me in your place and some things led to that happening”
“If you needed comfort that badly, you could’ve called me”
“It was late, I didn’t want to disturb your sleep”
“What sort of shitty excuse is that”
“Lade, I’m sorry”
“How could you?” Her voice was breaking, like she was about to cry
“Temilade, please forgive me”

Before I could hear what she said in reply, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I got scared because I thought it was aunty tutu but when I turned I was relieved to see Iyanu
“What are you doing here?” He asked in a whisper
“I heard them shouting so I came to check what was wrong”
“Stop eavesdropping and go back to your room”

He followed me back to my room and waited until I had climbed my bed before he turned to leave
“Iyanu” I called before he could leave
“What’s up?”
“Do you know why they’re arguing?”
“It’s nothing for you to worry about, just go to sleep”
He faked a smile and then he left

It took a while for me to finally fall asleep
And before I woke up the next morning, Aunty tutu was gone

This morning, I was actually a bit eager to get back to school
Not because I wanted to go back to school but because I was getting suffocated by the atmosphere at home
Mummy tried to smile and laugh but they never reached her eyes
Daddy wasn’t eating at home and he wasn’t smiling at all
At least Mummy was making effort to cover the tension up

She was the one that dropped me off at school
When we got to the front of the hostel, I remembered the book we were given to read and the slip that came with it, parents were supposed to sign to show that we actually read it
I don’t get the point, some parents could easily lie for their children and sign it even if they didn’t actually read it

When I told Mummy that I had forgotten to give her the slip, she blew up more than I expected. She almost gave me a slap
“Why are you just telling me about this now?”
“I’m sorry ma”
“You’re always sorry, everyone is always sorry”
I could tell that she wasn’t just talking about the slip
“Where is it?”
I opened my bag to give her, it was really squeezed at the bottom of my bag
That made her even angrier
“You can’t even keep an ordinary paper straight”
“I’m sorry ma”
“Stop saying sorry, it doesn’t change anything”

I kept my mouth shut after that, she signed it and then we had to wait on the line before I could submit it
While on the line, she kept getting calls from daddy which she ignored completely. She finally picked up when an unknown number called, she probably thought it was her office but it was still daddy
She hung up angrily and then after about a minute, another call from an unknown number came in and she assumed it was daddy so she picked up and answered with so much aggression
Unfortunately, that call actually came from her office. She had to move aside to continue the call, I heard her apologize as she walked away

When I got to the front, Mummy K asked for my Mum and I pointed to where she stood, Thankfully she didn’t ask me to wait until mummy came back
She checked my stuff and I signed in

I went to meet mummy so I could tell her that I was going inside the hostel
“Yes sir, I’ll be there in the next 20 minutes…” then she hung up
“Are you done with everything?”
“Yes mummy”
“Okay, I need to get to work now”
She was already walking away as she was talking, without even hugging me

She probably noticed the look on my face because she came back, gave me a hug and a peck on my forehead
“I love you, Princess. Mummy is just really stressed”
“I understand mummy” I gave her a smile
With that, she hurried to the car and drove off
I hope she drove safe because her office was about an hour from my school and she told her boss that she was going to be there in 20 minutes away