Dabira's Diary

35

Saturday 28th June

Dear diary,

For the first time ever, I dreaded a visiting day

It was always a day to catch up with family, gist mummy about my friends and eat home cooked meals but this visiting day was not going to be pleasant

Throughout the week, I had a knot in my stomach because I was so scared of what mummy was going to say and how disappointed she was going to be in me,
I couldn’t even send her a list of the snacks I wanted because I felt terrible

The fact that Henry avoided me like a virus didn’t exactly help either
It just made me feel even worse, like I had ruined his life or something, I know it’s a stretch to say that but I genuinely felt like it

I bumped into senior Tofa at the tuck shop when I went to get a new math set and I felt so embarrassed that I wished for the ground to open up and swallow me. We hadn’t seen each other or talked since the time I confessed my feelings and then this love letter issue happened
He smiled at me but I wasn’t in a good state and I was embarrassed so I just turned around and practically ran away without even getting what I came for

Last night, I tried to fake a sickness so mummy would be more worried than angry but the nurse caught me in my drama and she sent me back to the hostel without medicine. It was embarrassing

“How do you feel” the nurse asked so she could give me the right medicine,
It was going well until I decided to take things up a notch and began breathing abnormally, I went on for a while but I stopped when I noticed how she was looking at me
“I can do the same thing you’re doing” she imitated my breathing “if you’re here to get medication to avoid something, you had better go back to your hostel”

My brilliant plan was ruined and it was my fault

My friends already told me that my plan wasn’t going to work so they laughed at me when I told them what happened and to be honest I almost laughed at myself too. What was I thinking?
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After today's inspection, we were supposed to go for breakfast and then those of us that had business with the management were to go to the hall but food was the last thing on my mind and I wasn’t the only one that felt that way

Henry kept using his fork to stab the Moimoi, Jessica just kept her head on the table; I had a feeling that she was crying but I didn’t feel bad for her because this whole thing wouldn’t have happened in the first place if it wasn’t for her, Feyi came to the table but left when she got a message that senior Funmi was looking for her

Apart from the four of us, the rest of my tablemates enjoyed their meal, even the devil’s spawn; Love. She ate like she did nothing wrong and no matter how many times each of us gave her the stink eye, it didn’t affect her

After breakfast, the rest of the students went back to the hostel while we went to the hall. I walked with Feyi, I figured it was better to go through all this with a familiar face

She was shocked when I held her hand and then she gave my hand a gentle squeeze that showed she was thankful that I had done that. I noticed her eyes were red and puffy which meant she had cried but I didn’t say anything so she wouldn’t start the waterworks all over again

When we got to the hall, we were instructed to go backstage and sit until we were called. It felt like forever; the principal gave a speech, the bursar talked about the school’s scholarship scheme and also called for sponsors, then the chaplain preached for what felt like 10 hours, he preached on responsible parenting and raising godly children. Each word he said made the knot in my stomach twist a lot more, I didn’t realize that I was still holding Feyi’s hand but I was grateful that she didn’t let go