Escape - Wilbur angst

Chapter 7 - It doesn't get easier

Jumping straight into angst wohooo. I forgot to mention this is the next day.

TWs

ED

As Wilbur entered that same room he had slept in the last time, and set his bags down, he realised that it was finally over. Yes, he was aware it wouldn't be easy to recover, but it wouldn't get worse. He sat down on his bed, finally, his.

Phil entered the room and closed the door. Upon seeing Wilbur's face drop in fear, he quickly reassured him. "Hey, hey, I'm just here to talk, okay? I promise I'm not going to hurt you. I'll sit over here" he pulled out the desk chair.

"I'm just wondering how you would like to do with some things. I know this is a big change for you, and we need to work through it together. The thing I want us to start and focus on is food, and to feel safe enough to serve yourself whether that's loading your own plate or grabbing a snack. Is that okay with you?"

Wilbur hesitated for a moment. No, he wasn't ready, and he probably never would be. But it was probably for the best if Phil wanted it. And food is fuel, so. "Yeah, sure. I- I might be difficult though and we can stop anytime if it gets tiring." Phil just smiled.

"Of course it'll be hard, but that doesn't matter. What matters is you getting better." he assured. "Now, I'm going to let you have some time to settle down, and I'll come get you when it's dinner time, okay?" Wilbur nodded in response and Phil left.

He was so incredibly tired, he felt safe enough to sleep, trusting Phil to wake him up in a nice way. He closed his eyes, and for the first time, fell asleep with no fear or anxiety about it.  

Wilbur awoke by a knock on the door. "Yes?" he said while rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "Dinner's ready, mate. Take your time." Wilbur answered with a quick 'yes'. He got up and slowly made his way downstairs.

Techno and Phil were sat at the table, in the middle of a conversation while Techno was putting what looked like spaghetti on his plate. Phil looked up at Wilbur. "Hi Will, we're having Bolognese tonight, hope that's okay." Wilbur nervously nodded.

Pasta was a lot of calories, that wouldn't make anyone happy. He knew that he was free from his father, but his brain still remained cautious of him. 'He wouldn't like that' and 'that would make him angry' still flowed throughout his brain, making every move feel like a punch in the gut.

Wilbur sat down, his eyes flicking anxiously between Phil, his plate, and the food. Phil sighed knowingly, standing up slowly to go sit down next to Wilbur. "Would you like to try and serve yourself? Don't worry about taking too much and not finishing or too little, baby steps." Wilbur reached for the pan, still looking at Phil who gave him an encouraging nod. 

The younger grabbed the pasta ladle and scooped some of it onto the plate. He looked back at Phil for confirmation who just smiled warmly. After that he went on to grab some of the sauce. It smelled fantastic but made his stomach knot and he felt sick.

He then sat back down and stared at the food. He had barely eaten anything for almost a month, and he was doing so well with the weight loss. He was so close to making his parents proud. Without Wilbur noticing tears had begun streaming down his cheeks. He wasn't making any noise, just silent tears. 

Of course he, and everyone else, noticed. But he didn't do anything in an attempt to hide it or dry his tears, he was stuck staring at the food. It was mocking him, all the things his mother and father had told him quietly repeating in the back of his head. He looked up at Phil. "I can't do it, Phil it's too hard. I can't just- my progress it... I was going to make them proud..." he whispered.

You could almost hear both Techno's and Phil's hearts being crushed. The poor boy.

"Wilbur, your parents aren't here. You're not making progress, you're killing yourself. I know you just want to make them proud, but even if you did, they would find something faulty in it. You're not the one who needs to change, they are terrible people, and they don't deserve you or anything else for that matter."

Wilbur just shook his head and stood up, preparing to leave. "Wilbur wait!" Techno spoke. Wilbur froze and turned around with wide eyes. "How about you eat an apple or something like that? I could cut it up in pieces for you. We also have clementines and bananas.

Wilbur's gaze softened, his whole aura projecting thankfulness. "I could try an apple." Techno was a little confused about why Wilbur wouldn't want to pick out his own, but then remembered that he probably didn't want to be in control of his own meal.

Techno stood up and picked out the finest apple. It was decently big, with a nice pink colour. It was his personal favourite. Sweet, crispy and juicy. He cut it up into slices and placed them evenly all over the plate. 

Placing them back at the table he gave Wilbur a smile and moved his and Phil's own plates closer to Wilbur. Wilbur didn't feel cornered or stared down, he felt protected and supported, it was nice.

With a shaking hand he picked up one of the slices, before slowly lifting it towards his mouth. He stopped centimetres away and looked at it. The apple wasn't mocking him, it was inviting him. He slowly bit into it, breaking it in half. It was good and didn't make him feel disgusting.

He slowly swallowed, and then ate the second half. Phil and Techno went back to their conversation which Wilbur was thankful for, it felt more natural and the fact that he had a problem wasn't shoved in his face.

"I was wondering if you wanted to come with us to the mall someday to buy you some clothes and room decorations? Doesn't have to be soon, you feeling better is the main priority." Phil spoke up. "And also, I won't let you outside until you're out of your bandages." Techno added and received confused looks from the two others. 

"OH! No, I didn't mean it like I was embarrassed, but if you still wear them it means they aren't healing too good yet, and you shouldn't risk them getting worse." Techno defended himself. 

"You're good. Uhm, yeah, I could surely do that. But since I'll look like I do, I might want something to cover up with." Wilbur responded as he ate up his last piece of apple. Phil nodded with an 'of course' and then looked down at the plate.

"And look at that! You've eaten the whole apple. I'm so proud of you!" he praised. Wilbur smiled, yeah, he could get used to this.

OKAY SO FIRST DAY AT HOME, WHAT ARE WE THINKING GUYS GALS AND NON-BINARY PALS??? I think we should praise the word 'projected' as I forgot it in all three languages I speak and Google wouldn't help me. ALSO can someone guess what type of apple it is? And if you haven't noticed, I project myself onto Tech a lot. 

My friend (who is previewing the book) asked why I didn't change any POV's. And it's simply because 1. I hate 1st person views 2. It's Wilbur centric, that's why the "camera" is always with him.

- Bread

a 3twveufu 

I'm gonna leave it here - it's art. (i got possesed or sumn and keyboard smashed)