Escape - Wilbur angst

Chapter 10 - Brother

Wholesome twinstwt chapter go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

No school for them cause weekend.

TW's

ED, mentions PTSD, panic attack

Wilbur opened up the door to see Techno staring up at him with big eyes, his whole body reeking of anticipation. Wilbur smiled brightly. "Well then Tech, it seems that you're stuck with me a while longer."

Techno shot up and ran towards his Wilbur and hugged him tight. Because this was his Wilbur, his brother, his to keep safe. Wilbur hugged back, he loved Techno more than he could ever love himself. They pulled away and Techno smirked.

"Aw shit, Phil I'm moving out." All three of them broke down laughing, it was the first time they had heard Wilbur laugh properly and it was heartwarming. His laugh as charming as him. Eventually they calmed down, Wilbur went to go sit in his room and Techno followed.

"Sooooooooo... 'Tech' huh?" Wilbur blushed in embarassment, before nodding. "It's okay, I like it. You're good at names mr. Will-I-am." Techno struck. Wilbur just looked at him as if he was a psycho.

"What..?" was all he could utter. "Will-I-am Goo-Uld" Techno continued with a blank face. They stared at each other for a few seconds before laughing. It was nice, it was comforting, but most important of all - it was a brotherly moment. A moment where two young boys bond, creating a simple but intact relationship that could never be broken.

They messed around a bit more, talking about interests, school and whatever came to mind. Wilbur was sure that this is what a perfect family was like. He had never felt like he was apart of a family, he always felt like an empty shell, placed in a prison run by two monsters just for their inhumane pleasure.

His smiled dropped for a second thinking about it. Techno noticed, but didn't bring it up. He wanted Wilbur to open up by himself.

"Boys, dinner!" Phil called from downstairs. The two of them stood up and walked downstairs, still caught up in their conversation. "Yeah, and when he said that, I just thought that, 'you're just a substitute, ain't no way no one is going to do tha-" 

Wilbur stopped dead in his tracks looking at the table. Pasta carbonara. He glanced up at Phil. Pasta was his fear food, Phil knew that, so why did he try to keep getting him to eat it. Wilbur started to back up, but Techno placed his hand on the other's back, shaking his head slowly.

They walked the last couple of steps together, Wilbur still shaking. Techno sat down beside him. "Will, could you at least try a little bit? I know it's hard, but now he's gone forever, and no one cares about your weight anymore. Actually, we would be so incredibly proud of you if you gained some." Techno reassured.

Wilbur just shook his head more, no, he couldn't do it. Techno put a little bit on Wilbur's plate. It was maximum two bites. He wanted to make them proud, that's all he wanted. He slowly picked up the fork, taking a few spaghetti strands on it. He brought it up to his mouth, forcing his lips open.

He took two of the strands into his mouth, hesitating before chewing them slowly. His throat closed up as he forced himself to swallow. He looked up at Phil waiting for him to react, waiting for his face to show disappointment and disgust. But instead, he just smiled. "Great job mate, I'm so so proud of you."

Wilbur finished up the fork before setting it down in defeat. "I- I feel sick..." he whispered. Techno put his hand on his shoulder. "I know, but it's just an illusion. It's your body's way of protecting you from a danger that doesn't exist."

Phil started putting food on both his and Techno's plate, then sat down as they began eating. Wilbur looked at the two. They didn't seem bothered with the food. Maybe it wasn't too bad after all, maybe he could eat more.

He shakily picked up a few more strands, this time stabbing some pieces of bacon onto the fork. Wilbur chewed slowly, peeking up once in a while to make sure he wasn't dragging attention towards himself. Phil and Techno just continued to conversate as if nothing was going on, and it helped. 

After a few minutes he had finished his whole plate. It still made him feel a bit sick, but also somewhat good. He knew this was probably a one-time thing, but he could be proud of himself still. Because a step backwards isn't going to matter because of the progress he'd made.

Wilbur asked to be excused, Phil looked slightly unsettled but gave him permission to do so. Wilbur went upstairs and sat on his bed. He was still in shock from everything. Sometimes his brain would still imagine hearing angry footsteps approaching the door, and he sometimes had bad dreams.

They would consist of his father finding and hurting him, and on the worst times, Phil would be sitting beside his bed, open arms as he leaned in for a hug. While they were hugging Phil would slowly transform. He would become smaller, thinner, he would reek of alcohol. As Wilbur pulled away, he would slowly realise that this was not Phil, it was his mother. 

And no matter how hard he would try to pull away, she would press him closer and closer until eventually he fell through her, landing in an endless void, with no up or down, no left and right. And then he'd wake up, breath uneven, covered in cold sweat and with full body shaking.

It was all a bit too much for him, this huge change in both surroundings and demeanours. He sat on the edge of his bed with head in his hands. He was breathing heavily. Mind racing and heart pounding.

He was having a panic attack, he knew this. It wasn't the first time. He stood up and despite his body feeling like it was about to fall apart he walked downstairs. Wilbur knew exactly how to calm himself down, or well his father did.

For some reason pain did it for him. Whenever he would have a panic attack his father would often tell him to behave before giving him a slap. Wilbur would then be brought down to earth. But now he had no one to do that. He knew it was fucked up, and he knew the alternative, but no way in hell he was going to walk down that road.

As he stumbled down the stairs, barely getting any air into his lungs, Phil and Techno looked at him in horror. Techno's brother senses went off, as he sprung up and led Wilbur to the living room, sitting him down on the sofa.

"I- I don't- know w- what ha-appened, I- just" he spoke between gasps for air. Techno just nodded in understanding, " I know Wilbur, don't worry about that. Now could you breathe in for me, hold it for a few seconds and then slowly breathe out? I know it may seem impossible, but it's all in your head."

Wilbur tried and Wilbur failed. He didn't give up though, and after a few tries his breathing was in control. Next was calming him down. "Okay now, do you know the song playing in the background?" Techno asked. The radio had been on during the entire dinner, but Wilbur had yet to acknowledge it.

He listened intently, shifting all of his focus to remember the sweet melody pouring through the house, giving warmth to those who let it. It seemed distant at first, as if it was hiding, fearing that the immense darkness as cold as ice inside Wilbur was going to swallow the glowing fire whole. 

That something inside the boy was too great for even music to shrink. Then it realised it's power, because Wilbur was not fighting the warmth, he was searching for it. It then clicked in Wilbur's head, and he nodded slowly.

"Yes, Let her go by Passenger." he spoke softly. Techno nodded. It would always be special to each person that had ever heard it, and it was aware of that. Because everyone could find love in it, the grief painting their world a drowning red slowly turning softer as it adapted it's melody and words to the feeling of the hopeless one.

It brought silence upon all three of them as they listened to the last words. 

A BIT OF ANGST YIPPIE

One thing I've noticed is that I tend to become quite poetic while writing, I either describe emotions a bit to much or go in on whole different tracks. But I find it sweet, and I hope that you do too.

- Bread