The White Phoenix

Chapter 42 - Dilemma

The moment Wei Ying's head hit the pillow he was out. Lan Wangji on the other hand, even though he was very tired, he couldn't sleep now. With Wei Ying taunting him like that and asking him such questions, he didn't know what to say or do. He became a bit frustrated and stepped out of the house again to have a moment to himself. It didn't last long the moment Xichen joined him.

"Something on your mind?" Xichen asked.

"A'Ying..." Wangji began, "he started asking questions."

"What questions?" Xichen asked.

"He was asking about what love was and dual cultivation, and...kissing," Wangji told him, "I tried to explain...he wanted me to kiss him, but I said no. To wait until he is eighteen."

Lan Xichen could see the conflict in his little brother's eyes. He knows how much he wanted to comply with at least kissing Wei Ying, but he was still fifteen. Wei Ying was a teenager and dealing hormonal issues. Him being so young, it was normal to be curious but it was not the right time for Wei Ying and Wangji to progress yet.

"I get it is probably difficult for you both, but you are doing right by trying to hold off. A'Ying is getting adventurous and clever. As much as you want to comply, you are doing what you can, Wangji," Xichen said.

Wangji nodded, "I know."

"You should sleep for a while. You have been up since A'Ying broke down," Xichen said.

"You have also been up," Wangji said.

"While you were throwing A'Ying in the river, I just went to meditate for a while. It helped," Xichen told him.

Wangji nodded.

"You really want to kiss him don't you?" Xichen asked.

"Ge!" Wangji warned.

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G," Xichen teased.

Lan Wangji glared at Xichen before leaving him and going back inside. He went to Wei Ying and sat down beside him on the bed. Wei Ying moved closer to Wangji as he could potentially feel his presence beside him. Lan Wangji carefully laid down and pulled Wei Ying closer to him. Despite him being the smarter person, he placed a kiss on Wei Ying's forehead before relaxing and getting some sleep.

Wei Ying slept until the afternoon. When he woke, he was laying with his head on Wangji's chest. He carefully climbed out of Wangji's grip and sat up. He looked down at the beautiful sleeping man that he as long since loved. He was starting to understand what his feelings mean. The way that Wangji explained it all to him, he understood.

He so desperately wanted to know what it was like to kiss Wangji, but he respected him way too much to push further. As much as he wanted to know what it was like to feel another set of lips on his own, to understand why he wants it so much, he just couldn't. He sat there and he knew could take advantage of this situation, Wangji's lips were right there, but he did not want to push Wangji away. He did not want to risk losing him.

So, Wei Ying was in a dilemma. Why did he want it so badly? It was just kissing. He has been with Wangji since his rebirth. Oddly enough, he never once saw Wangji as a father figure. He saw him as something more, even as an infant, to a toddler, to a child, and to a teen. Wei Ying climbed out of bed and changed into fresh robes. He then went outside and decided to train with Zhūhóng for a while. It was the only way to get is mind off everything else.

"Being distracted is not a good combination when working with fire," Zhūhóng explained, "calm your breathing and clear your mind."

"Can I ask you a question?" Wei Ying asked.

"Is it about the training?" Zhūhóng questioned.

"Well, no," Wei Ying said, "it's just. All I can thing about...is Lan Zhan."

"He is your soulmate, it is only natural for you to think of him all the time," She replied.

"But he told me I'm too young," Wei Ying said, "it's like my mind is saying I know where he is coming from and I understand why he says I have to wait until I'm eighteen, but my heart says to ignore it all and just go for it."

"The key to a good relationship is communication, honesty, and trust," she said, "if you only listen to yourself and ignore your partner's concerns, how are you both supposed to make it work, to move forward. As he is an adult he is thinking of your wellbeing first. There are always issues when someone way older is fond of someone very young. That is why he is trying to get you to hold back. He still loves you more than anything in the world."

Wei Ying nodded, "what can I do then?"

"Just try to keep being as you both are. Would you rather that or risk harming each other's future because of curiosities?" Zhūhóng questioned.

"So, be patient?" Wei Ying asked.

"That is correct," Zhūhóng said, "you know the best way to learn patience, is to meditate."

"I'm okay with meditating," Wei Ying said, "but I thought we were training."

"Well, we were supposed to be, you were asking questions," she said.

"We can go back to training," Wei Ying said, "you can keep me longer if you need to."

Zhūhóng nodded and started to get back into training.