time was flying by and i hadn't seen michael in a year. he probably thinks i ran out on him just because i was mad about my mom, but that wasn't all.
i had become extremely depressed after we'd moved to america. i missed my family as soon as we took off. i wasn't even healthy.
I didn't want to tell michael, but i'd been seeing a therapist and it obviously didn't help because i'm still extremely depressed. But, it wasn't just for my depression and anxiety.
in the past year, i'd done nothing beside be sad. I had gone to school, but started going online because i didn't want to leave home.
i would occasionally see michael around and immediately run. he was usually with his boyfriend. i'd never approached them because i couldn't.
it seems like we always do this. we run and try to forget, but always get back together. i didn't want that this time. i wanted michael to be happy and does look pretty happy. i want him to get over me and just, well, be happy.
i don't think there is any way to get over him because he's so unique and beautiful. he is my unicorn. it's weird to say, but do true. i'll never find anyone like him. i want to tell him i still love him, but that'll ruin it all. I don't want to ruin it. he needs to be happy. i was okay with avoiding him, even if it felt like there was a huge hole inside me.
- - - -
i woke to the sound of my alarm playing green day. i took a shower and slipped into my signature black jeans and a plain shirt.
i'd gotten a job playing guitar and singing at a café not to far from home, but so small that michael and his boyfriend would never go.
it took an hour and a half to walk there. carrying my guitar made it a bit difficult, but i managed.
"Luke, wait up!" my friend and fellow guitarist, Casey, screamed from behind me. she ran up to me and when she caught up she was out of breathe. "why are guitars so fúcking heavy." i shrugged and continued walking. "are you okay?" she said flashing her hand in front of my eyes. "Yup, just thinking."
"you've been doing that a lot lately." she said. "i know, i just-- i don't know... i'm lost i guess." i sighed and opened the door to the café. i'd been greeted by my boss and took my guitar out of my case.
the day was normal and boring. there hadn't been excitement in my life for awhile now. it was just so simple and nothing surprised me anymore. i wanted to feel something. whether it was pain, fear, happiness, or love. just something.
- - - -
Casey sat on a stool and began to play and sing. her voice was sweet like honey and the way she played the guitar made m stomach tie in knots. i'd began to gain feelings for her over time. which was weird because i'd barely ever had feelings for a girl, but then again, michael and tuesday were the only people that i really dated.
Casey stood up and walked off the stage awkwardly due to the clapping. "was i good?" she asked while putting her guitar away. "great, wonderful."
we walked outside and began to go home. while walking her brown hair shined and her eyes were beautiful. she looked like an angel. "um, luke, are you okay?" she blushed and i began to freak out. "actually, would you like to go out sometime." i smiled crookedly and she nodded a "yes."
"really?" i asked excitedly. "why not?" we arrived at her house and i walked her up to her door. "well, goodnight." she said and then she kissed my cheek and almost walked in, but turned around. "fuck it." she said and she kissed me. i was shocked at first, but soon gave in and it was as if that hole inside me slowly began to disappear.
(a/n:)
i haven't updated because i'm busy and i feel like i am disappointing a lot of people with this story.
(i swear if my fucking sim isn't pregnant imma lose my shit.)
anywaysss,,,, how are y'all doing?
Chapter 58 Question:
What are you doing right now?
And what would you be doing if i was there? ((;
-ashley xx
