Jason and i walked down by a park. yet another memory had started to play through my head. When luke and i first met and he was sweet and made me feel at home.
the memory hit me like a punch to the stomach. i couldn't breathe. how was i supposed to? i'd thought luke would be the love of my life. the guy i'd marry and adopt children with.
"michael, are you okay?" Jason asked resting his hand on my shoulder. "ben i-" he half-heartedly smiled, "it's fine. i know this wasn't going to work out."
but the memories wouldn't stop.
"don't waste your life on that sleeze-bag."
"come on, i thought you were having fun."
"you're so cute when you eat."
but then it went blank. nothing. there was nothing to think of because everything was over.
I thought of a poem i once heard:
"how can it be a mistake?... love is not a mistake and it's killing me that [he] can run away from this, but i can't. i can't go out an find somebody new because i always think of [him]."
i can't do this. i can't live without luke... but i also can't live with him either. i don't know what to do, so i run.
i run as far and fast as i can. i don't know where i'm going, i just know i need to stop thinking.
and i did when i saw two front lights and everything when black.
- - - -
my eyes fluttered oped to the view of a hospital room. i was alone of course. a bouquet of dead flowers lie on the little desk next to my bed. my leg was up in a cast and as was my arm.
then a doctor came rushing in. i didn't know what to do or say. "i-i" he looked at me and then at the heart thing. "do you know who you are... where you are... why you are here.. how long you've been here?" i looked at him "michael clifford, a hospital, no, and no."
"michael, you were in a hit in run. it's been two months. we were hoping you'd wake up soon. you were in a coma. a friend of yours, um, luke, i believe, stopped by nearly everyday, but stopped coming about a month ago. i guess it was to hard to wait for someone to wake up, though they might not"
it was so much to take in at once. "can i call him?" i said struggling to sit up straight. the doctor sighed, "first we have to run some test, but then you can."
- - - -
he ran about 3 two hour tests. it was so irritating sitting there wanting to call luke, but instead being poked by random strangers.
after they were done, i went to the front desk and entered luke's number that i'd weirdly still remembered.
"hello?" he said in a raspy tone. i was on the verge of screaming "LUKE I LOVE YOU IM SO SORRY." that is until i heard a voice. "babe, come back to bed." it was calum. calum hood.
i slammed the phone down and felt tears nearly fall from my eyes.
he could have anyone. why calum? was it his looks, it definitely wasn't his personality. i wish that calum was just gone. if he weren't here he couldn't ruin anything. he is 90% of luke and my problem.
i guess if luke were happy, then i'd let him continue that way. i wouldn't let him be aware of the fact that i was awake. i'd just stay hidden... avoid him seeing as he is avoiding me.
gosh, i hope luke is happy without me.
(A/N:)
hdjskdksjsj
intense.
Chapter 39 Question:
Instead of a question, just rant your little heart out
poem that i used in the part with the "[he]" - OCD Neil Hilbron
- ashley xx
