is there really no possible way we're soul mates.
i've seen your face and heard your name so many times today. maybe it's a sign. maybe it's god saying "michael, stop being a dick and call him. you were meant to be." but alas, i am still to afraid.
i wish i could overcome the fear of you hating me. i don't even know when it all started- the depression and anxiety. if only i had a time mission and could fix every mistake i've ever made when it comes to you.
leaving you, hurting you, cheating on you.
i disgust myself. i swear there isn't a bigger dumbass on earth. it makes me so angry that it's come to this. i just really want you to be happy... with me.
is that selfish? wanting to be with the one i love? well, if it is, i'm a selfish bastard and i'm okay with it.
but, you ended it and there's nothing i can do to change your opinion.
- - - -
i walked to the store around the corner from our flat.
i still can't believed you moved out. you didn't even say goodbye. you just packed up your stuff and left.
so much has happened since christmas. partly good, partly bad. mostly bad. i would give anything to have you again.
i walked into the store and there stood calum. he had bed hair and a red flannel. he looked nice, but that still didn't stop me from wanting to slap the shit out of him.
he glimpsed at me for a minor second and made his way over. "hello, michael. saw Luke the other day... leaving?" he raised in eyebrow as if he didn't know that luke had moved out. "yes, calum," i said bitterly, "luke moved out."
"may i ask why?" i rolled my eyes, but he grabbed my arm. "listen, if you ever want to talk, here's my number." he gave me a little sheet of paper. "are you kidding me? i just broke up with luke and you're already trying to hook up with me?" i threw the paper to the ground and walked out infuriated.
calum is such an asshole. who does that? he knew that i had just broken up with luke. he just had to test me.
(A/N:)
IT'S SO LATE HERE I NEED SLEEP
my crush was like "i'm always here for you" when i was talking about my anxiety and how i always assume that people are annoyed with me (idkw)
I'd like to state i wrote some random shít about cringeclifford here and i shouldn't have because she's truly a great person.
Chapter 36 question(s):
what's your favorite fruit
HALSEY IS THE LOML
- ashley xx
