i walked around everywhere looking for luke. no matter where i looked, he was no where to be found. i began to worry more and more everytime i'd check a place he wasn't. I'd even skipped school just to dind him.
i hadn't been away from luke for so long since we'd been engaged. i didn't know what to do. i needed him to guid me and i know that sounds extremely codependent, but i swear it's not.
it's just, i don't like being away from him. he makes everything better. he is the sun in my world and i just miss him.
i walked into Olive Garden. this was where luke had applied for the job he didn't get. when i walked in i looked around, but didn't see him, so i made my way out. "michael," someone had sad quietly "i'm here." he got up from his seat and looked at his feet.
"luke, i'm really sorry." he was still lookibg down. "michael, i just need a little space, just give me some time." warm tears traveled down my cheeks, "are you- are you calling off the wedding." he finally looked up worried. "no, i just think we need to take a break."
It's funny because over a year ago, i'd done the same to him.
my sadness had turned into anger. "luke, what has gotten into you? i'm trying here, why can't you?" i took the engagement ring off and threw it to the floor. i watched him search for it before i walked out the door and began to walk.
[From: Breadstick]
[5:35 P.M]
please come back, i love you
[From: Breadstick]
[5:37 P.M]
we can work this out. just come back.
[To: Breadstick]
[5:44 P.M]
you said you needed space, i'm giving you space luke.
i shut off my phone and sat on a bench. i placed my face in my hands in my face and continued crying silently for about half an hour before making my way to the hotel.
- - - -
it was late and dark. i took a shower and laid in bed. it was lonely and quite. i couldn't fall asleep so i kept moving in the bed. the had wad only filled with the sound of the blanket and my sorrow sighs.
i hadn't felt so alone in so long. when i began to feel lonelier, all the memories from my previous years had flooded back. they were horrific and triggering. i didn't know whether to give in or not. i wanted to, but i thought of luke and what he'd think.
i turned my phone back on only to have it blow up with messages. luke had been texting me nearly all night.
[From: Breadstick]
[7:24 P.M]
please don't leave me . i love you.
[From: Breadstick]
[7:52 P.M]
can't you just say your okay?!
[From: Breadstick]
[7:58 P.M]
please meet me at the park tomorrow at noon.
but i decided against it. i didn't want to see him. i felt to hurt and i didn't want to give in to easily. so, i decided he could wait.
i didn't know when i would like to see him again. i was pretty angry and i know i'd be for a while. there was nothing that could change my mind.
(a/n:)
luke dying might
(i'm jk i swear)
i need to spell check these chapters once i complete it because there are a lot of errors!!!
Chapter 56 Question:
how've you been?
-ashley xx
