NEVER

11.

aina-ophelia osanai
2:22 AM

his room was hazy-clouded with dark smoke that reeked of strong weed.

i was intoxicated, i couldn't seem to focus on anything in this moment but....

him.

his body leaned against his desk, a soft sigh escaping his mouth while he examined the blunt we were both smoking. taking a deep pull, his eyes closed as grey fumes slowly fell from his lips...

my heart thumped against my chest, i was captivated just watching him. he made the littlest movements beautiful, he was so beautiful to me and i couldn't be any more grateful to be here with him...

"you have the most prettiest eyes..." gnarly abruptly blurts out, catching me as my eyes were nearly glued to him. "nobody looks at me the way you do." those words fell from his lips so smoothly, i couldn't help the blush that appeared heavily on my face. being complimented by the one you adore felt so.....good, i wish i can replay these moments.

after taking one last pull, gnarly ashed the blunt beside him in his skull ashtray before nodding his head to the right. "come here..."

i was compelled.

i lifted myself from his headboard, crawling to the end of his bed to place my manicured feet on his carpeted floor. i let my tingley legs guide me, stopping me right in front of him and once i got in his presence, i didn't know how bad i wanted here until he said come.

the hairs on my arms slowly raised as his cold hands snaked around my small waist. bringing my body towards his, he closed any space that was between us. "i....wanna tell you something..."

the pit of my stomach sank.

i always got the impression that if you smoked weed....you'll be brought out of your comfort zone. not in my case, i'm still the same nervous wreck...no matter how acquainted i am with gnarly, i'll always be shy around him.

"i'm-i'm listening." i softly stuttered, tilting my head up to look at him-giving him all my attention.

".....us spending this time together made me realize a few things...." he trailed, his fingers tucking a few strains of my curly hair behind my right ear. "i....feel like i want to save and protect you from......everything."

gnarly then glanced down at me, allowing us to make eye contact. the hollowness that was always present in his eyes was replaced with admiration, it was so genuine and~

suddenly, the cool chill of his cold hands knocked me from my thoughts once he placed them on my cheeks... "being with you makes me happy..."

my eyes widened.

i feel....appreciated.

i've been alone and treated unwell for so long that i forgot how it feels to be coddled or....cherished. i'm so deprived of attention that the littlest words means so much to me.

like a cat being petted, i nuzzled my face deeper in his hands as me and gnarly didn't break eye contact. i began to feel a bit....sad ? a vision of his expression and demeanor from earlier in the hallway randomly appeared in my mind and compared to how he is now made me realize that....