NEVER

15.

1:06am

i think i've made a bad decision.

i need to teach myself how to not be an irrational person and stop acting on a whim, i make all the wrong decisions that leads me to the worst situations....

like this one.

i've spent hours thinking about how i shouldn't have left the studio so early. i would've been so occupied with bastard and solace that i wouldn't think to feel any feeling other than joy. now, i'm just here, alone....

....fuck, i feel so lonely.

i wish i could get used to this feeling.

"aaahh~" i dragged, intoned as i stretched lightly. my eyes mindlessly wandered to solace's empty dark room and i couldn't help the sigh that effortlessly escaped.

it's been hours. it's all my fault, i shouldn't have pushed you away....

"hmm let's seee....what should i read next mi-na ?" i softly questioned and laid on my stomach. my feet slowly swung in the air as my eyes scanned my bookcase....i didn't have much books to choose from yet i still have a hard time picking one, i'd even reread a book i've read a thousand times before buying a new one.

does that make me cheap ?

"it's time for a trip to the bookstore, huh ?" i questioned before playfully scooping mi-na in my arms.

knock !

knock !

knock !

me and mi-na simultaneously looked towards the front door before looking at each other.

it's so late, did sage leave her keys here again ? i couldn't think of anyone else who would be at the door at this time, no one really visits so it has to be her....right ?

mi-na and my bare manicured feet, crept across the cold wooden floors to the front door. unlocking both locks, i swung the door open to find solace on the other side, leaning against the door frame...

serotonin instantly rushed through my body as i stood in shock.

"s-solace ?" his long arms took their place around my neck and he hugged me, tight, swaying us into my apartment.

"i left the studio early....i needed to see you..." solace mumbled into the crook of my neck before we pulled away. i couldn't find any words to say, i was just so happy to see him-although i've seen him earlier, it always feels like the first time.

i held his hand, intertwining our fingers together and led him to my room.

"it's so quiet here, i knew there was a reason why i'm so attracted to you. you're just like me..." i didn't have to look back to know that solace was smiling, i heard it in his voice and it was making me melt.

sigh...

the more i'm around him, the more i fall deeper in love and it's so scary for me to think this way....ever since i met him, i haven't dwelled on the things that made me depressed. my happiness is nothing but him and i'm content with that thought but...what if things go left ? i wouldn't know how i'll be able to deal or what i'm capable of. i like him so much that i'm beginning to develop love sick syndrome or in other words delusion...