NEVER

13.

G N A R L Y
solace
6:25am

every single day, i wonder how someone can be so beautiful...

so beautiful that it's unusually sickening.

whenever i think about how good she is to me, it makes me realize that i don't deserve her....it's been 2 days since i've spoken to her, i know she's spiraling...

i just needed to know if this was what i really wanted and during this process, i realized that this is what i really wanted. i like her way more than i should and honestly, it's a little concerning....i've never felt this heavy about someone.

the way she makes me feel is no other and it's so fucked up that i'm not afraid to say that i'm willing to do anything for her...i wish i didn't feel this way because i know she doesn't like me as much as i like her. usually, in cases like this, one person ends up hurt and i can't go through that again.

a deep sigh escaped my lips as my eyes were fixated on her window, i watched as her naked body slowly heaved up and down while she peacefully slept in thick sheets that swallowed her whole. her room was naturally lit with sunrays that kissed her soft glittery skin, i thank God that i was born with self control....when it comes to things like this.

"you're a fuckin' creep..." my eyebrows instantly furrowed once a fit of laughter invaded my space. i didn't have to look back to know bastard's clingy bitch ass was behind me. checking up on me is nice and all but a head's up would be phenomenal.

why haven't i changed my locks yet ?

"says the nigga who came into my apartment this fuckin' early, unannounced..." i turned around and pressed my back against the cold steel bars to focus my attention on bas. a goofy grin appeared on his face once he took a seat on my windowsill and from that expression, i knew something i didn't wanna hear was gonna come from his mouth...

"don't change the fact that i caught you staring at my sis ao sleep, you fuckin' perv." my unamused expression seemed to have a permanent place on my face as i twisted the half burnt cigarette between my pointer finger and thumb. "is this the start of an unhealthy obsession or what ?"

"...i can't wait for the day you stop being so invested in my life."

"the day we both die is the day i stop." bas retorted, shrugging his shoulders. "since we're on the topic of your rad ass life, that video of you beating the shit outta taj at the mall is going viral bro....the recognition you've been getting lately is crazy even though it's for the wrong shit."

not this bullshit again...

my fans aren't stupid to put 2 and 2 together and not realize that having this run in with taj is connected to the run in i had with him at cj's house party. not only will that cause an uproar for me but it'll cause one for angel and i don't know how that'll effect her. the rumors were so fucked the last time that everyone started bullying her, no one in this situation should be effected but me.

"bro be quiet, you're gonna wake her." i fussed, looking over my shoulder at her opened window. i then pushed him inside my room and closed the window behind me. "how many times do i have to tell you that i don't give a fuck about the recognition ? it's always bad news bas, it's a fuckin' headache."