NEVER

28.

i felt solace's dark eyes burn into me—those dark eyes filled with confusion and anger burned a hollow void in me, only he knew, nobody could fill but him.

"i won't leave you alone aina...." his deep voice filled my ears, i didn't look at him as he cornered me, towering over me so i had no space to breathe. "so speak...."

"i don't want to be here with you." i croaked, hoping he didn't hear the lie seeping through my teeth. i could applaud myself for the amount of restraint i have right now, everything in me want to give in so bad. fighting with him was impossible—he'll always win in the end.

his hand gripped my chin and he forced my attention to him.

"look me in my eyes and tell me that."

i couldn't....the words were trapped at the center of my throat and all i could do was cry....cry in hopes of this being a hallucination and i was in a fucked up nightmare.

"....right, so why the fuck are you acting like this towards me. what did i do wrong ?"

"stella humiliated me solace, she told my business in front of everyone ! they laughed at me and recorded me....she even showed me a picture of you guys together in bed....y-you weren't with her recently right ?" my voice cracked in desperation as i had no choice but to finally give in.

my eyes lingered on him while i waited for his response.

he was so quiet.

he just stared at me, a glint of remorse sparkling in his eyes as he sighed in defeat.

"fuck, i-i knew...." i managed to say through my sobs, my hands flying to his chest as i felt the air thicken. "i knew it, solace get off me !"

"let me expla-"

"no, fuck you ! do you understand how this makes me feel ? i cut myself multiple times that week, i couldn't eat or sleep. i waited that whole week for you to come back to me and you spent that week fucking that evil ass bitch ! is she why you've never told me you love me ?" my fists banged against his chest, i pounded as hard as i could trying my best to get him off me but his body was so solid. "i gave you everything solace ! i hate yo-"

in a flash, solace's hands swiftly grabbed a handful of my hair. effortlessly, he threw me behind him, letting my head and back bang against the hallway wall. both of his hands then tightly wrapped themselves around my throat immediately stopping my breathing. this time was different, he was really trying to hurt me.

"don't say that shit to me...." my heart thumped against my chest as i listened, my hands holding his wrists in hopes of him loosening his grip. that dark and yearning look in his eyes sent shivers down my spine, not the kind of shivers you get when you're scared but the one you get when you're stimulated.

emotionally stimulated.

"where you gonna go huh ? you're mine aina, you told me you dedicated your life to me so you're not fucking leaving me !"

i cried.

i cried hard because he was right, after all this, i was going to forgive him and still love him with everything in me. solace hurt me, he manhandled me but i didn't care—as long as he cared enough to not let me go.