NEVER

22.

G N A R L Y
solace

the strong bass of drake's IDGAF harshly rippled throughout my body as my back was pressed against the wall.

"appearance...."

i'm pretty sure its evident that i could care less about all this shit. truthfully, if it wasn't for aina, i wouldn't be here right now.

"nigga, some of the people here came to see us. they can't see you if you're in the cut, evilly eying every single nigga in here, hugging the fuckin' wall." as i listened to him nag, i groaned lightly and held my head while it throbbed in pain.

"you know the reason why i'm here bro...." placing my cigarette back in my mouth, i took a deep pull and averted my eyesight elsewhere....

the more i stood in this spot, the more i felt antsy.

i'm anxious....it's a mystery how this'll turn out, whatever the outcome is, being in her presence will be enough for me.

it's all my fault, why would i wait this long to see her....

"they're on the way, you impatient ass nigga." bas teased looking over at dixon who signalled for us to come to him. i didn't plan on moving, this spot was out the way. "let's go...."

i shook my head and blew my smoke into the air watching bastard stick the middle finger at me before walking off.

the empty feeling began to sink in as i noticed i was now alone again. my eyes traveled throughout this highrise and i watched people dance, drink, smoke and conversate. it felt surreal like i was the only person in the world amongst others who weren't....present.

i fucking hate this feeling.

i honestly wanna leave....

an inaudible sigh left my lips as i took another deep pull from my cig, that fuzzy warm sensation tightly hugging my body the deeper i inhaled.

my heart suddenly began to thump against my chest once i spotted a figure that resembled angel and her girl. my assumption was correct once the view became clear—their hands were tightly interlocked as they swiftly maneuvered through the crowd making their way to our designated section where bluddy, dixon, and bas were placed.

guilt twisted deep in the pit of my stomach as i noticed she was wearing my clothes. it's highly evident that she wasn't doing well and it was all because of me.

after all this time, i ditched her and she's still about me, she's hasn't given up on me, she's still here....i hurt the only person that's for me.

why am i so fuckin' stupid....

"fuck...." i mumbled, feeling my eyes burn as i looked away. ashing my cig in a random's drink, i disappeared into the crowd.

aina-ophelia osanai

a shaky sigh left my lips as i fumbled with my nails.

he isn't here....

i know he's done with me but i can't stop chasing the thought that he'll come back. no matter what happens, i just won't let go of him.