NEVER

19.

B-A-S-T-A-R-D
the next day

my back pressed against my car's seat as i looked at my phone, watching gisela fumble with her hair out of nervousness.

"scott, they worry me so much...." she vented, stress leaking her voice. "i'm scared to leave her alone again, what do i do if something happens to her and i'm not there ?"

i never thought a situation can get outta' hand, like this one. i can't lie, a nigga's scared. everyday, i worry this situation will get worse—solace is still missing and i have no clue what's going on with him and ao is in the most fragile and vulnerable state ever. i can't do anything but stay strong, what use is it to us if i give up ?

"aina is cutting herself. she even told me that she'll kill herself if gnarly doesn't come back....it's already been a week scott, i'm scared." looking into the camera, her glossy eyes stared into mines and i seen nothing but hurt. seeing her like this struck a nerve in me, it's like i had this sudden urge to protect her feelings. she plays a big part in this situation just like i do and if i have to stay strong, she does too.

"gisela, relax ight' ? breathe. we got this, they're inseparable. they need each other to be happy so that's our key to fix them. once we get them together, we keep an eye on them and protect them ight' ? we got this." i finally spoke.

even though i constantly go through stuff like this with so, i can never get used it and i hate it because i never know what's going through his head—right now, social media's in a frenzy. people are disrespectfully bashing ao for the cause of so's breakdown, saying shit like she cheated or she left him, i never played into the bullshit everyone say about us but this shit right here is over doing it. people swear they know our personal lives....i'm glad ao doesn't have a phone but just imagine how so feels.

"you're right, we got this." after taking a deep breath, gisela agreed. "i'm sorry for calling and stressing you out with my problems, we're literally in the same boat so i know you're just as stress as me...."

"don't worry about it girl. after all this, you can come back to my crib again and we can talk more about our stress...." a smile slowly grew on her face and i swear it was contagious because right after, a smile grew on mines.

"i knew you was gonna bring that up." rolling her eyes, she tucked her sandy brown curly hair behind her ears. "that was only one time okay ? don't get too big headed about it...."

"i have to though, it didn't take me long to get you where i want you. a nigga has to brag, just a little...." after that night, in brooklyn, me and gisela spent a night together. i wanted to thank her for being a good friend to me, even after all the bullshit that's circled around me and so's name—the connection was instant, she fucked with us as if she knew us forever. that's why i cherish ao, every since she been around, she brought us nothing but good. "but....that one time isn't gonna be the last right ?"

i watched as she looked into the camera, her cappuccino cheeks turning a light pink. seeing her strong personality change so quickly was a turn on to me, how did i not notice her before ?

"right...." smirking lightly, i nodded.

"ight' where y'all at right now ? i'm bouta' check gnar' crib to see if he's there before i come bring y'all some food, ao's pescatarian so i hope you like vegan...." i informed her, starting up my acura.

"we're at aunty's, she wanted to see aina and take care of her for a while....she cooked already so don't bring nothing, just come here."

.｡*♡*｡.

i slowly parked behind solace's jeep feeling my heart pound a thousand times per minute....

i hated this part.

when this situation first started, so turned his location off and i had no idea where he was. everyday, i would come by and his apartment would be empty and his jeep would be gone. me and aunty almost opted to called the police but once he started tweeting, we realized that he was somewhere okay....now, he's here....what do i expect this time ? half of the time it's never good.

gripping my phone with aunty's contact already on my screen, i jogged up the 4 flights of stairs making my way to his apartment. once i approached his door and unlocked it with my spare key, i opened the door and immediately started sweating once i spotted his living room floor decorated with empty alcohol bottles, empty ziplock bags, his notebook and a pill bottle with about 2 pills in it and beside all that was solace, sprawled out on the floor, passed out.

"what the fuck, SOLACE !" i slid across his wooden floors, frantically making my way towards him. placing his head on my lap, i felt how ice cold he was. "b-bro come on, wake up, stop playing...."

immediately pressing aunty's contact, she wasted no time answering.

"sco—"

"aunty, it's solace. h-he's not waking up ! i think he overdosed on something again, i-i don't know what to do."

"oh my god-okay scott relax, feel his pulse and tell me what you feel....quick." my body trembled as i pressed my index and middle finger under his neck. his pulse was so light that it was almost non-existent.

"it-it's very faint and slow....he's so cold aunty....what-what do i do ? i don't want him to die !" tears began to cloud my eyes while they wandered around his pale skin.

solace why can't you be strong, why don't you tell me things ? i'm always left in the fucking dark dealing with him !

"he's not, okay ? he'll be fine, he's done this before you know that, relax and don't panic because that'll make everything worse....do not make him throw up, i hid a dosage of naloxone in the cabinet above his refrigerator. take the needle, lean his head to the side and inject the needle in the middle of his right arm...."

nearly tripping on everything that was on the floor, i rushed into the kitchen grabbing the dosage like aunty said. kneeing beside his limp body, i tilted his head, held his arm out and pushed down on the injector, watching as the medicine disappeared into his body. i then tossed  the needle to the side and held his head in my lap, waiting till the medicine kicked in.

one day, i'm going to personally kill him myself for putting himself through this shit. this is fucking torture, why can't he be better ? no matter what he does, he always regress.

"i'm coming over there—"

suddenly, solace's chest began to slowly cave in deep with every breath he took while his fingers twitched. "no stay with ao, i got it. i'm gonna call you back...."