new kid [lashton au]

Twelve

Word count: 1249

-------

[3RD PERSON POV]

Luke and Ashton met up at the park later that day. They went to the shady tree that they were at yesterday and they got right to work with Luke helping Ashton. 

As much as Luke wanted to talk with Ashton he knew it was best not to. He opened up way too much yesterday and is moving too fast. Yes, Ashton also was crying but he hardly opened up. Luke doesn't want this to turn out to be some messed up one-way relationship/friendship. They're just studying, not hanging out. 

Yesterday wasn't supposed to happen. As much as it was true, it hurt to Luke. But he needs to keep control of himself and not turn into whatever he can be. He can't be free, because if he's free, he will feel more controlled when he's not free.

These thoughts were popping in and out of Luke's head making him a bit distracted for a few seconds but he was able to snap out of them before Ashton noticed, at least he hoped Ashton didn't notice.

Around one and a half hours passed and they were almost done with the work. They had one question left but it was frustrating to Ashton. He couldn't understand it and was getting mad.

[A: Ashton       L: Luke]

A: "Goddamn this shit."

L: "Ash, it's okay. It's the last question."

A: "Why do we even need Chemistry?"

L: "To be honest, I don't know. It's not mandatory but I took it. Why did you?"

A: "Don't know. I don't know what I want to do with my life. I feel like I should but I don't. I mean I did before some stuff happened but I can't do what I wanted to do anymore."

L: "What did you want to do?"

A: "Music. Be in a band. Travel. Tour around the world. I used to drum, I have been doing it since I was 11 but I stopped in the beginning of high school."

L: "I know we're not close and I have no right to ask this but why did you stop?"

A: "It makes sense that you're curious, you told me a lot yesterday and I feel bad not telling you some stuff but-"

Ashton stopped himself, he looked like he was trying to be strong even though Luke could tell Ashton was on the verge of crying.

L: "It's really okay, I shouldn't be asking this. Besides, yesterday it was my choice telling you those things."

A: "Why did you share those things?"

L: "I don't know. The moment just brought back memories that I can't keep inside me. I know those things are private and I shouldn't have shared them but I didn't say everything so I feel like it's fine if you tell other people that. Listen, I'm sorry."

A: "I won't be telling anyone and never planned on it."

L: "Thanks."

A: "I just want to tell you something. I know it will probably confuse you a lot but I feel comfortable with you in a weird way. I trust you and I don't trust people easily. I feel like this might be a mistake but I hope this will stay between us. Please?"

L: "Of course. I'm here for you."

A: "Thanks. Basically for the past 3 years I've been my siblings guardian. I'm the one who takes care of them. And that's how it will be for a while. I have two siblings, both are younger than me. Lauren is 11 years old and Harry is 9. I can't do much of the things I want since I need to care for them. Those few days that I wasn't at school was because they were both sick. Harry had it really bad but Lauren had it less bad. It was thankfully only a 24 hour bug type thing. It scares me when they get sick though. I know it's unlikely but I don't want to lose them to something like that. I don't want to lose them ever."

Ashton took a deep breath, like he was going to continue talking but he didn't. A few tears started forming in his eyes as he was trying to fight them, but they were exiting his eyes in a small stream. Luke did what Ashton did for him yesterday. He wrapped his arms around Ashton and Ashton immediately melted into Luke, the tears becoming heavier and Ashton's breath becoming more uneven.

Luke couldn't help but notice how small Ashton was though and how his arms wrapped around him so much. That's for another time though.

Luke wanted to say something to comfort Ashton but he didn't know what to say. So, instead, he tightened his grip to make Ashton feel secure and safe.

Luke enjoyed having Ashton like this, though he hated it at the same time. Ashton always seems so strong, dominant, and powerful, but no one is like that, especially if they seem that way. No one should feel broken like this. Well, let's say, almost no one.

The hug went on for a while, during the time, Luke started to lightly cry and Ashton was hugging back too, though Luke was still holding Ashton tightly.

It felt strange to Luke how he already feels so close to Ashton though they haven't known each other for a long time. He felt a strange sense of safety around Ashton. He felt something else around Ashton and he knew what it was, but he hoped they weren't going to fast. He hopes Ashton feels the same way.

Ashton loosened his grip and so did Luke and Ashton pulled away a bit.

L: "You okay?"

A: "Yeah."

L: "Let's be honest, we're both very not okay."

A: "True. I'm extremely grateful for you, Luke."

L: "Me too, Ashton. Me too."

A: "I don't mean to ruin this moment but I'm gonna do it anyways."

L: "God Ashton, seriously?"

A: "Yes, I feel like I need to tell you this. I doubt you feel the same way but I hope it won't change anything."

Luke nodded, signalling for Ashton to continue.

A: "I feel something towards you. Almost like family, but more. Not like friends either, it's more than that. I don't know what I feel to you, but I feel something. And I'm scared of it."

L: "You know, I can help you if you'd like. And I don't mean it like I will fix what you feel. Because I feel the same way."

A: "Are you, uh-"

L: "I'm gay. I hope you don't hate me because of it."

A: "I wouldn't hate you for it. I-I don't know what I am though."

L: "And that's perfectly fine."

A: "I find it funny how both of the times we studied after school ended similarly. Like we take a break then end up having a mini therapy session or something."

L: "It's funny, but honestly, it's not funny at all."

A: "That's very true."

L: "Oh. Um. I forgot to tell you this and I don't really know how to say it so I'll just say it as is, I'm leaving for a bit. I have to go somewhere with my parents next week and it's going to be the whole week. I feel the need to say that I'm sorry."

A: "It's okay, I understand. See you in a week or so then."

L: "See you!"

They shared a quick hug as they went home, Luke refusing Ashton's offer to drive him home again.

Let's hope Luke will be okay after the week.