new kid [lashton au]

Thirty

Word count: 1107

Welcome to Ashton's past. Talks a bit about anorexia.

Last chapter before epilogue!
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▪︎2 weeks later▪︎

[ASHTON'S POV]

It's been two weeks of having a boyfriend and we're in Luke's bed again on a Saturday afternoon. We haven't done much but we have had a few nights like that one and it's heaven.

Luke is somehow already almost caught up with all his schoolwork and things have been going really well, for both of us.

Today, we were just cuddling with the occasional kiss here and there. So, I decided now was when I should tell him. Everything, basically everything. Like he's told me so much.

A: "Lu?"

L: "Hm?"

A: "I need to tell you some important things."

L: "What's up? I'm here."

A: "Thanks. Well. I trust you so much and I feel like you deserve to know. My parents. And something else. You never really asked about them but I know you're curious, I would be too. There's no light way to say it so I'll just say it. There's a reason I looked up into the stars that day at the playground. They're there. That's why they won't be coming back. My mum and dad both died in a car crash when I started high school. It was unexpected and I didn't know how to deal with it. Everything. All the stress, pressure, responsibility, and trying to find balance. So, I also was struggling and couldn't have time for a job but we still had a lot of money from our parents will and stuff. Around the same time, some kids would make fun of me for how I looked and whatnot but I would act like I didn't care. But I did. I started eating less and skipping meals. First lunch, then snacks. Then breakfast. And dinner would be small. I was losing weight and that was good, or that's how I thought. I started working out whenever I had time too. I was skin, bones, and muscles. That was what I thought was good because I was smaller. And as I got into my second year of high school, I looked skinny and I looked weak. I was. But I had muscles. Which isn't what those boys expected when they attacked me."

I took in a shaky breathe and Luke was right there to tighten his grip around me, making me feel safe.

L: "You're okay, Ash. Take your time."

A: "Thanks Lu. Well, when I was brought to the hospital I passed out and they ran tests on me and saw that my weight was dangerously low and my vitamin levels and stuff were also really low and my health was poor. They asked me about it and I denied everything. They still kept me there for a while and the first day when it was time for breakfast, I was struggling and I ordered whatever seemed smallest and that was eggs and fruit. I wasn't able to eat more than two pieces of pineapple before I felt sick. One of the nurses saw my hardly touched food and as much as I told her it was just shock from the attack and everything, she refused to believe me. And eventually, I told her that I was anorexic and I told her everything about my parents and I have to care for my siblings. My siblings are still good friends with someone and the kid's mom was caring for Harry and Lauren for the 5 weeks I was in the hospital. She's still my therapist, Sierra. I wouldn't be here and recovering without her."

I took another shaky breathe in because this part is hard to admit.

A: "And I was improving but a few months again I dug myself down again. During the summer, I got a job as a waiter. And I felt fat again. The people coming in were usually so skinny and ate all the greasy food we had. I wanted to be like that. I regained weight and I didn't like that. I knew it was healthy and I needed it, but it made me feel weird. So I started to make my portions smaller and slowly skip meals again. I did still go to therapy and I still do, but I continued to say I was improving but one week I skipped almost every meal and just drank water. When I went in that week, Sierra noticed I was really small and lost a significant amount of weight. I told her I was sick but she called bullshit and she was right. And you gave me another reason to get better again. You noticed though. You gave me reassurance and made sure I ate at least a bit when I was with you. So, thank you, too. You showed me love and appreciated me for who I was. You didn't force me to eat but you made me at least a few bites. I can't thank you enough and will continue to thank you forever. I saw you healing a bit too and I knew I had to do it too. And I did. And I'm almost back to normal again."

Luke stayed quiet for a bit and when I looked at him, I saw a few small tears leaving his eyes. He saw me look at me and nodded at me before wiping away the tears that I didn't know I had with his thumb and I did the same for him once he was done.

L: "I'm not mad at all, okay? These tears are just from the information. I'm sorry for everything, but I'm glad I was able to sense something and help you more than just the things I said and did. It'll be hard to tell me, but I want you to tell me whenever anything happens, okay?"

A: "I will. And thank you."

L: "I love you, and all of your little things."

A: "I love you too. You're perfect."

L: "So are you. I love you so much babe."

A: "I love you so much too babe."

We fell asleep together since Lauren and Harry were at the friend's house again. I don't know what I would've done if Louis and Harry weren't friend's with Lauren and my Harry. Their moms are also lovely. They're not related or together but they are like each other's support systems since both their husbands tragically died in the same car crash as my parents.

God, I'm really lucky with everything. And I mean it. Things haven't always been great, but things are going up, hopefully.

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There has been a few people voting on different parts of this story, so thank you so fucking much, it makes my day :>

Epilogue will be up in a few days, see you then wonderful people :]