new kid [lashton au]

Fourteen

Word count: 1304

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[LUKE'S POV]

I woke up early and couldn't fall back asleep. I was bored out of my mind but whatever. Today I'll find out where we are. It seems stupid that I don't know where were are but the hotel doesn't have a sign and the airport is too crowded to see. My parents hold my ticket for me so I can't see what it says. It's scary that I don't know where I am but I'll find out today. At least I hope so.

I managed to fall asleep and woke up again to see my mother's face above me as she was telling me to wake up.

I got dressed and ready and we left soon after. The walk wasn't long but it was confusing. Each time we go on these trips it feels like a fever dream. I hate it, I just want to wake up but it's not a dream, it's real life. I know this stuff doesn't seem bad, but it is. It's hard to explain.

We got to a restaurant and I tried to read the sign, all I was able to see was that the sign had the letter "t" in the middle. I think.

We went inside and got a table. After we went to our seat, my dad left and came back in a few minutes, he said he was just going to the washroom. Once he came back, I waited around 10 minutes before telling them that I'm going to the washroom. My dad told me to turn left for it so I did. I went into the washroom and just washed my hands. I got out of the washroom and saw that the entrance/exit was near there. There was someone there and he looked like he worked there. Now is my chance.

"Um, hi. Excuse me?" I said, scared as hell.

"Yes? How may I help you?" He asked, he seemed nice and caring. He was Irish, I think. He reminded me a bit of Niall but I hardly remember Niall and I don't know how he'd look now. That thought makes me sad a lot.

"Where are we? I'm enjoying this place and just wanted to know the address." I asked.

"We're in the s-"

He got cut off when my mom appeared next to me and cleared his voice.

"What are you doing here, Luke?" She asked

"I was just-"

"Enough. Let's go." She cut me off.

I mouthed a "sorry" to the employee and he nodded. I wanted to tell him I need help but I'm too scared. I don't want him worrying about me.

The overall stay at wherever we were was fine. I got a burger and my parents got steak. As we were leaving, the boy gave me a piece of paper and I nodded and threw it into my pocket before my parents could see. I didn't look at it but that's gonna happen soon.

We got back back to the hotel and I was preparing myself for what's to come.

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THERE'S GONNA BE SOME TRIGGERING CONTENT NOW. IT WILL INCLUDE A VERBAL ABUSE, PHYSICAL ABUSE, AND SELF HARM. THIS WILL GO ON FOR THE REST OF THE CHAPTER. If you want to skip, what happens is that Luke's parents are mad that he was talking with someone else. They abuse him and he passes out. When he wakes up, he cuts and goes back to sleep.

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Mom: "Darenk, leave. Come back in 10 minutes."

Dad: "Of course Carenta."

My dad left. Now it's just me and my mom facing each other.

Mom: "Why were you talking to that boy?"

Me: "I was asking what the place was called."

Mom: "Why do you want to know?"

Me: "Why can't I know?"

Mom: "You're trying to be smart aren't you?"

Me: "No, I just want to know where I am. I think I should be allowed to know where I've been going for basically my whole life for a week at a time."

Mom: "It doesn't concern you."

Me: "Yes it does. I'm here and want to know where we are."

Mom: "We're your parents. You should trust us. You're safe."

Me: "Sure."

Mom: "Why don't you trust your own damn parents you fucking waste of space that we call our son?"

Me: "Maybe you should listen to your self."

Mom: "Watch your attitude."

Me: "Yes."

Mom: "You never appreciate what we do for you. We gave you a life. We keep you alive. We give you a roof to live under. We give you food. We take you on vacations. But all you do is say how bad your life is. What is wrong with you."

I shrugged.

Mom: "ANSWER ME DUMBASS!"

Me: "Sorry."

Mom: "SORRY? THAT'S ALL."

She slapped me across the face, mildly knocking the wind out of me. It shocked me but I know it's going to happen again.

She repeatedly was slapping my face and punching at my other body parts. This all stopped when my dad walking in.

Dad: "Carenta! Stop it. What are you doing?"

Mom: "Sorry hun, I'll step out for a bit."

My mom left Now it's just me and my dad.

Dad: "You know I'm not here to save you as much as you want me to. You deserve this."

It all happened in a matter of seconds. He threw me onto the ground and took a shoe off. He threw it at me and it hit me in the balls. I tried to pull myself into a ball but he grabbed my arms and tied them together. He spread my legs out but didn't remove any of my clothes, thankfully. He hasn't gone there ever. Yet.

The next however long was just him hitting, punching, and slapping every part of my body as much as he could. It hurt in the beginning but afterwards I felt nothing I was numb. I don't remember much. I just remember being thrown onto my bed, hearing my mother's voice and that was it.

I woke up and my parents weren't in the room. I looked at the clock, it was already 11 in the morning. I moved and everything from yesterday came back. Everything hurt. Might as well add to the pain. I got up and went through my bag. I grabbed my scissors and pulled down my sock. I haven't cut for around a week. I'm proud of that. The cuts are still healing and underneath them are more cuts. And underneath are a ton of more cuts and scars. I don't want to cut again. But I need to do it now. I can't explain it. It makes me feel in control of something for once. It feels good. It has an impact on me that nothing else does. In the moment I do it, nothing else matters, everything goes away.

I held my sharp scissors in my right hand as I applied lots of pressure to my foot, making 15 new clean cuts.

I'm horrible. One.

Waste of space. Two.

Waste of everything. Three.

Hated by my own family. Four.

No one cares. Five.

I'll always be alone to die. Six.

Pain. Seven.

Ugly. Eight.

Fat. Nine.

Gross. Ten.

Unwanted. Eleven.

Useless. Twelve.

Gay. Thirteen.

Stupid. Fourteen.

Bad at everything. Fifteen.

I deserved each and every one of them. I deserve more, but I stopped.

I put some gauze on my foot and put my sock back on. I went back to my bed and fell asleep again.

The last thing I felt was a but if guilt and numbness.

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*That kinda hurt to write, I mean NO HATE to Luke at all, it's just what I made him be thinking. I love him and would never say those things to him.*