Forever Lost

Chapter 14

I tuck into my food again. This little munchkin likes weird shit. I finish every last morsel on my plates. I lean back in my chair and hold my belly. "Riley!" I groan as I hear Mason.
     I stand up and sit Miley down as I face him and his mouth drops open as he eyes up my belly. "You're pregnant?" he gasps.
He finishes his last few steps towards me and he hugs me. "Nice to see you too man," Tyler says sarcastically.
"Oh, hey Buddy!" Mason says. He releases me and fist pumps Tyler. Mason faces me again, "So, who's the father?"
"Some random," I shrug.
Flynn stands up and puts his arm around me, "Ri," he groans. He places his hand on my bump, "I'm the father and she's my girlfriend so hands-off." I roll my eyes at his jealousy.
"What? You never said he was a thing, buddy," Mason says to Tyler and he shrugs. I lift Miley back up and I lower back in my seat and Flynn also sits and puts his arm around me. "Is this what you want?" he says to me. "You always said you didn't date."
I sigh, I'm too tired to argue, "Mase, nobody makes me do anything I don't want to do. It's only ever going to be Flynn," Mason nods. I didn't lie, I mean it will always ever be Flynn but I still can't let him in.
"I'll catch you later," I nod and he slaps Tyler's shoulder as he walks away.
"I'd like to make a toast," Dad says. He holds his glass up, "Happy Birthday to my beautiful wife. And I thank the Lord my whole family is with us." Her birthday was yesterday but it's in her honour I guess.
"Happy Birthday," we all say together. We clink glasses and I am so tired. "You okay, baby?" Flynn says to me. I stand up with Miley in my arms and I sit on his lap. I rest my face in his neck and I shut my eyes. He holds my legs with one hand and wraps his arm around me with the other.
"I'm going to sleep for a week," I grumble and he laughs.
"Bro, can I take your car? It's nearly Miley's bedtime and your sister is going to start annoying everyone with her snoring," Flynn says and I slap his chest. Tyler laughs and he throws his keys and Flynn catches them. "Goodnight everyone."
"Goodnight Honey, get my girls home safe, okay?" Mom says.
"Of course," Flynn says. "Smiley, can you walk for me?" I feel her get off my lap and Flynn stands up. I cling to his neck as he carries me.
"Honey, don't forget her coat," Mom calls. I reach over my chair and grab my coat. I rest it on me so I don't need to wear it. I feel Flynn walk and we are soon hit with the cool air.
When we reach the car he lowers me into the front seat. He reaches over me and does my seatbelt up. He kisses my lips before he leans away from me. He shuts my door and helps Miley into her chair. I open my eyes, "Have you put her seatbelt on?" I ask.
"Yes, baby," he groans.
"Properly?"
"Yes, Ri, I know how to put a belt on," he shuts the back door and slides into the driver's seat. "I know you are used to doing everything yourself but you don't have to anymore."
I shut my eyes, "Okay," I mumble.
He chuckles, "You are so docile when you're sleepy. Maybe this is the way to your heart, make sure you're dead beat all the time."
"Okay, I love you," I mumble.
He starts the car and pulls away, he rests his hand on my thigh, "I love you too baby." I fall asleep on the way home. "Baby, we are home."
"Good," I mumble. I open my eyes and see we are at my parents not home. "You lied," I grumble. I rub my eyes and get out the car.
I walk to Miley's side and let her out the car. She's asleep so I lift her out the car and she clings to me. "We are home," he contradicts. "Let me carry her."
"No, she's my daughter." I growl and he sighs. I open the front door and Rex barks at me. "Hey, boy, I missed you. I'll take you out in a sec." I walk up the stairs and I feel Flynn following me.
"Oh so you miss the dog but you push me out."
"He's loyal to me, he kept me warm and safe when you were fucking Scarlett." I open Miley's room and I lay her on the bed. "He kept me as sane as I could be. You should be thanking him not cursing him."
I find Miley some PJ's and change her in them. I tuck her into the bed and kiss her forehead. I leave the room and I pull the door to. "Riley, when will we stop having this argument? If I could take it back, I would."
I walk downstairs, "But you don't regret it, I gave you the out without hate. You should have taken it, Flynn." I walk to the back door and I let Rex out into the garden. "Part of me would have prefered it to be a meaningless one nightstand. You loved her! How am I supposed to let that go? Why can't you just go back to her?"
"I can't go back because I love you, I love you on a much deeper level. Nothing felt right with her, you are my home. Home could be anywhere on this planet with you. As long as I have you everything will be okay."
"I wish you'd have figured that out earlier, Flynn. Your Riley is forever lost, she's broken. Don't you think if you could fix me you'd have done it already?"
"I am fixing you, it's been subtle but we've seen it. Abigail and Hayden went back to Mom and Dad, sometimes even, Mommy. You've started calling Tyler, Ty and bro again. You let me love you tonight, you said you love me and you said something odd I couldn't understand about following me."
"No, I let you fuck me, it's different. I could have even let Tate fuck me I was that frustrated." Flynn glares at me and he punches the wall.
"Don't ever say that to me, you are mine whether you see it or not. I'm not giving up Riley, you can hurt me all you like but I'm not leaving you." I frown, I'm hurting him again.
I see a tear fall from his eye onto his cheek and it breaks me. "I followed you," his head snaps to me and he hastily cups my face.
"Yes, that's it, what do you mean?" he implores.
"When you left me at the maze, I followed you."
"Why?" he gasps.
"Because I didn't want to hurt you. I never want you hurting, not because of me. Everything I have done has been for you."
"What would have happened if you had found me?"
"I don't know," I lie.
"Yes you do," he growls. "Don't lie to me, what would you have done?"
"I would have given you what you wanted," I sigh. Rex comes backs in and I'm saved by the bell. I push Flynn's hands off me and I shut the back door. I walk away from Flynn not that there is a place on this earth Flynn wouldn't go to follow me.
I climb the stairs and I go to the bathroom and lock the door. I go to the loo and wash my hands. I brush my teeth while Flynn calls through the door. "Just open the door, Riley. You know this barrier can't truly stop me. You give me an inch towards your soul and then you withdraw further."
I roll my eyes and I unlock the door. I continue to brush my teeth as he opens the door. "You would have given in if you found me today?" he asks in disbelief.
"Whatever," I grumble.
"Tell me, Ri, I need to know."
"Yes," I spit into the sink. "Okay? I tried to find you, I ran and I was frantic because I was lost. I looked for you for ages, I even called for you but you weren't there. Everything hurt so I sat down. I couldn't even find the exit because I'm the spoilt rich kid that can't do anything. I don't know the difference between a spanner and a screwdriver. I can't navigate my way out of anything, I can't sleep alone, I can't do anything right!"
He smirks at me, "Is that why Nathan calls you Spanner?" he wipes my tears as he smiles at me.
"Yes, when he fitted my CCTV I told him he needed to bring a spanner to install it."
Flynn laughs at me, "You're special. Why did you get it anyway?"
"To keep unwanted guests out," I shrug.
"Meaning me?"
"Yes," I admit. I leave the bathroom and walk to his room. I grab the bottom of my dress and he grabs my hands.
"I told you, I am peeling you out of this dress." I turn and face him, "Come on, Ri, you let me earlier."
"That's because you tormented me all day. You flirted with Bex and I was literally going to combust."
He throws his head back and laughs loudly, "You are so hot when you're jealous, knocking your drink all over her. That guy was bat shit scared and I for one was aroused."
"No, you don't get to do this. You can't sweet-talk me anymore. You can't flirt with someone to get my attention."
"Okay, I promise I won't do it again but fuck, I liked the aftermath of it. Besides, you've done it to me more times than I can count. I mean I was so angry at you in the maze because you were flirting with that poor innocent bystander."
"I never claimed to only want one person! I'm single, Flynn."
"No, you aren't. I'm literally engraved in your heart. I am at the root of your being, no guy could ever get close to you because your heart is encased in me, I protect it."
"You don't protect it from yourself. I want and need space from you Flynn and you are suffocating me. I need to go home," I whimper. "I need time to heal."
"No baby, you don't need space. That's the last thing you need. I'm not suffocating you, I'm consuming you. My scent is starting to linger on your skin again, you are letting your walls come down and you're scared. You want to push me away because you know I'm so fricking close."
He puts his arms around me and my heart thumps. His hands fiddle around with the zip and he slowly slides the zip down and I whimper. "Flynn."
"Say yes," he urges. Once the zip is undone he lets the dress slide down my body and it pools at my feet. "Let me make love to you, let me show you how much I love you." He kneels down and looks up at me whilst he slides my panties down. He stands back up and he holds his hands out to me and I take them. I stand out of my dress and my shoes. He cups my face and he's inches from my lips. "Say yes."
"Yes to fucking me," I whisper.
"Fine," he grumbles. "You are the most frustrating woman I've ever met." He hastily kisses me and I'd be knocked backwards if he wasn't holding me. He lifts his hoodie and top over his head and I look at him.
"Wait," I pant and frowns at me. "What is that?" I place my hand on his chest over his heart. I trace his skin and I look at the tattoo. It's an angel with her wings fully stretched out. Her long hair covers her nipples but you can still see her breasts. A small piece of fabric covers her bottom half, sort of. She dangles a pink crystal in each hand.
"It's my angel," I frown at him. "It's you, Riley, look closer." I focus really hard on the tattoo, what is he wanting me to see? I gasp and step back when I see it. I cover my mouth and he strokes my hair. Sitting in the two crystals are my initials. R and B. "How have you not noticed my tattoo before? I got it ages ago."
I'm in too much shock to say anything. Why would he get a tattoo that. . . resembles me? What fool puts someone's initials permanently on their skin like this? "Say something, Ri," he urges me. I shake my head keeping my mouth covered. I keep staring at the angel on his chest.
"You're a fool," I whisper. "Why would you do this?"
"You're mad? Great," he sighs. "You knew I always wanted a tattoo Ri, I needed something to remind me of you. I needed to feel close to you when I couldn't sleep. I needed you embedded on my skin visibly."
"You're insane!"
"Tell me you wouldn't get something of me tattooed on your body. Tell me you wouldn't put my initials on your body." He smiles, "Actually, that's a genius idea. Somewhere intimate so no guy will ever touch you again."
I shove his chest and he laughs, "Flynn, this is serious."
"Oh, I'm deadly serious, baby."
I haven't seen him topless in so long, so why would I have seen it. When we had sex it was dark. When he held me I was too busy crying to notice. I was a mess, it's a blur. I didn't notice it when we went swimming either.
So when did he get it? I push him against the wall and I pull his head down to kiss me. His tongue piercing skims again my tongue and I moan.
I reach for his jeans and I undo them and he helps me pull them off. He twists us so he's pinning me to the wall. He kisses me and cups my breast and he groans. He abruptly spins me around so I'm facing the wall. His lips graze my ear, "I'm going to have fun with all these new sex positions," he says breathlessly in my ear. "Spread your legs and put your hands on the wall."
I do as he says and he eases inside of me from behind. My mouth falls open at the pleasure radiating everywhere. His hands cup both my breasts this time and he starts to play with them as he makes his own sweet rhythm. "Mmm, I love these so much." He bites my ear playfully and I arch my back pushing my breasts further into his burning hands. "I think I'm going to see them bounce in my face before this night is done."
"Flynn," I whisper. He removes his hands from my breasts and they instantly miss his touch. They tingle from his absence. His right-hand slides between my legs and strokes my clit and I throw my head back and I sink my teeth into his neck. His left hand protectively holds my bump.
"Maybe I should have made your tits bigger on my tattoo because they are such a turn on."
"Flynn," I beg.
"What do you want, baby?" I don't know, for him to leave, for me to leave. For him to burn my breasts some more. For him to stop talking or for him to talk more. For him to claim me and to never leave. For him to pick up the rhythm, for him to relieve this pressure inside me.
"I. . ." I whisper, "I want. . ."
"You want what?" he urges again.
"I want you," I admit. He pulls out of me and turns me around again. He lifts my hips up and I wrap myself around him. He eases inside me again but he carries me to the bed.
He climbs on the bed effortlessly and he stays on his knees but sits back onto his heels. I rests my knees on the bed either side of him so I can move up and down. "Say it again."
"I want you," I pant and he thrusts deep inside me and my mouth falls open again. He pulls my nipples in his mouth and I whimper. He bites them gently and I'm done, my vision blurs and I let my head fall back. Everything is swirling and I'm lost, lost in Flynn.
I'm so tired but I need more, I crave more. My pregnancy cravings are nothing compared to my craving for him. He kisses my slack mouth and he guides me down from my high. He slows the rhythm as he anchors me back to him.
He lowers us on the bed so he's on his back. He moves us on our side and I wrap my leg around his hip and he picks up the rhythm again. He takes both of my hands at the side of my face again. He moves me on my back but he stays mostly on the bed so he's not got any weight on belly. I love him doing this and it swells my broken heart.
He really is making love to me and not fucking me if there is even a difference. We connect this way and it's one of my favourite positions with him and I think he knows it. Minutes, hours pass I have no idea. Time is never long enough when I'm with Flynn. "Hurry up, baby, I can't hold on any longer." His words send goosebumps around my body. "Ri," he begs as he continues his relentless rhythm. "Please," he grits hit teeth.
My body lets go and he sighs as he violently comes inside me. "I love you," I pant and he groans into my ear.
"I love you so fucking much," he says breathlessly in my ear. He untwists our legs and pulls out of me. He lays on his back and holds my hand as we catch our breath. "I can never get enough of you, Ri."
"Me too," I admit. "But tomorrow, I'm tired, if you're lucky." He props up on his elbow and kisses my cheek.
"Man, I can't be bothered to turn the light off."
"Maybe you should turn it off before sex then."
"Fuck no, I need to be able to see you. I need to enjoy every inch of you. Every bigger asset of you," he winks and gets out of bed. He clicks the light off and climbs back into bed. "Would you rather still haunts me you know?" He moves me on my side and spoons me. "Can I list them right now?"
"Hmmm," I mumble.
"When you said you'd rather redo. Redo what exactly?"
"Everything, us," I admit.
"Why?"
"Because it fucking hurts."
"But it doesn't have to. Anyway, you lied on the hot or cold one."
"And? I lied for most of them."
"You love it when I burn you."
"You think if I can't have you I'd want to do it in heat ever again? It would only ever be cold without you."
"You'd really rather be emotionless?"
"I told you, the pain is unbearable, I'd rather die but I have to live with this pain for Miley. She needs me."
"So, if you didn't have Miley or my baby inside you, you'd kill yourself?"
"Yes," he holds me tighter.
"I broke you that much?"
"I was broken before remember?"
"To the extent to kill yourself?"
"Yes, I told you."
"Yes, I remember, vividly. Sleep baby," I let the darkness take me.
I hear a light tap at the door and Flynn pulls the covers higher up my body. I'm now laying on his chest. "Come in," he says softly loud enough for the person at the door but quiet enough not to wake me if the tap hadn't woken me.
"Hey Honey, is she okay?" Mom asks.
"Yeah she's fine, she's exhausted after all the events the last few days."
"Okay, day in tomorrow then, Nana and Pop's are coming tomorrow too."
"Bet she's going to love that." Flynn chuckles and my head bounces up and down on his chest and I grumble.
"Are you any closer yet?"
"Sure, it won't be long until she lets me in."
"But she's had sex with you?" Mom says confused. Flynn tries to lift the covers up my body again but I'm fully covered.
"I told you, I'm another step closer. Do you know how bloody stubborn she really is? Better men would have given up by now. Hell, they probably would have killed her by now." They both laugh quietly and I thump his stomach and he stops laughing. He holds my hand so I can't hit him again. "Ow," he grumbles.
"Well, goodnight. I just wanted to check in before I went to bed." I hear the door close and he brings my hand to his lips and kisses my hand.
"Round three?" he asks hopefully.
"No," I mumble.
"You're absolutely sure?" he chuckles.
"Flynn," I grumble.
"Okay, okay, tomorrow," he promises and he stays quiet. It doesn't take me long to fall back to sleep.