Forever Lost

Chapter 12

When I get home I walk through the door and I hear them all bickering in the next room. I shut the door and all the voices stop. They all rush to the door and they sigh with relief. "Where the hell did you go?" Flynn shouts.
I roll my eyes, "None of your business."
"Of course, it is, you are the mother of my child. You are carrying my baby, if something happens to you then something could happen to him and to lose the both of you would kill me!" He's insufferable!
"I'm not going to drop down dead, Flynn. I can do what I want!"
"Flynn, Honey, calm down. Go get some air," Mom says and he storms out the room. "Tyler, go with him." Tyler leaves the room and I walk to the couch and I lay down holding my tummy. Rex lays on me and Miley crawls on me too. I hold her to me as she clings to me.
"It's okay baby, I'm back now," I soothe her.
Mom and Dad sit on the opposite couch watching me. I can hear Flynn shouting in the garden but I hold Miley's ears so I muffle the noise.
    I shut my eyes for a while and it's not long until burning hands lift my legs and sits on the couch. "Honey, you need to tell someone where you are going. We were on the verge of calling the police. You weren't answering your phone. You could have left a note."
"I thought about leaving a note. You were all frustrating me so I turned my phone off."
"Where did you go, Lee?" Dad asks.
"I needed to do something to move on," I keep my eyes closed. "I went to the core of the issue."
"And that is what?" he presses.
"I went to see James," I admit and I hear gasps around me and Flynn's hands grip my legs tighter.
"You can't have, I made sure they were to deny you access."
"Oh, yeah that, money really can buy anything," I shrug.
"Why the hell would you see him again?" Flynn growls.
"Because I needed to see him, to let go of him."
"And did it work?" he continues to hiss at me and I roll my eyes.
"Yes actually, we had a heart to heart. He told me what I needed to hear and he kissed me and I left."
"He kissed you!" he shouts and I stroke Miley's hair. "What did he have to say?" I sure do love winding him up, it's so easy.
"Calm down," I look at Miley who's clinging tighter to me. He sighs and nods, "He told me that I didn't really love him. He made me believe what he wanted me to. He was mentally unwell and he's now acting like a normal rational human being. Ironically he was urging me to get back with you."
"He wants you to accept me back?" Flynn says surprised.
"Yes, he knows I was only truly happy with you. He said this isn't the true me, it's a mask. I can be whoever I want to be and not let pain rule me. He thinks I am strong and I can be the Riley I want to be."
"So, are you going to listen to him?" Flynn asks hopeful.
"In all honesty, I want to go home. I want to be far away from you," I admit and he screws his face up. "I guess we will just have to see." I shrug. I get up and go to the loo. I return and Mom calls my name.
"There's breakfast bits in the fridge for you." I thank her and go to the kitchen. I open the fridge and the smell makes my stomach swirl. Shit! I slam the door shut and I run to the sink. I gag but luckily I'm not sick yet. Flynn's hand places on my stomach again and I gag again.
I manage to keep everything down and I turn in his arms. "Have you taken your tablets?" I shake my head and bury my face in his neck. "Riley, I need to be able to trust you."
"I don't need you to trust me," he pulls away from me.
"Every time I think we are getting closer you prove me wrong." He leaves me standing in the kitchen and I walk back into the living room.
"Something is off in the fridge," I inform Mom and she frowns.
"Crap, sorry Honey. I had that too when I was pregnant." She gets up and strides out of the room. I hold my tummy and Flynn enters the room with all my meds and I roll my eyes. He means business.
    He sits next to me and holds my daily dose out to me and I turn my head away.
"Ri," he urges. I ignore him and he grabs my jaw and slides the meds in and he passes me some water. I swallow them all down and I smile. He raises his eyebrow at me. I prefer his way of administering my meds. Mom returns with a plate of food for me and I thank her.
"We want to go to the local cornfield maze, Lee. You up for it?" Mom asks.
"You go, I'm tired."
"Honey, if you don't go we will stay here with you," she says and I groan.
"Fine, I'll go," I mumble as I eat breakfast. I finish eating and Mom has sorted Miley out ready to go. I get up and go to the bathroom. When I get out Flynn is holding a coat out for me. I roll my eyes and put my arms in. He holds my tummy and then does the belt up covering my bump.
I walk out the front door, "Honey, you need to make sure the dog stays," Mom says. I look down at Rex and he's looking up at me.
"He wants to come," I bend down and stroke his head. Don't ya buddy?
"Honey, I don't think dogs are allowed."
"Eh, I can sweet talk anyone," I shrug.
Flynn scoffs, "You're more likely to beat them to death." Probably true.
"Game on, babe," I smile and he frowns. I wink at him and he glares at me. I slide into the car and Rex sits in the footwell. Miley climbs into her seat and I strap her in. I do up my seatbelt as Flynn climbs in.
He leans closer to my ear, "Don't make me jealous baby, we all know how that plays out." I smile and look at him.
"Maybe that's what I'm hoping for," I smile slyly and he frowns at me.
"You only have to say yes," he says confused.
"Never gunna happen."
"Then you aren't getting whatever you are hoping for."
"We will see," I say looking at the road. "How are you feeling today Rubs?"
"So stiff, not sure how I'm going to walk around the maze."
"It's good to go for a gentle stroll," I reassure her.
I get my phone out and switch it back on. So many calls and texts from them. They're ridiculous.
ME- I miss you. X
JAX- Want me to come over, babe? X
ME- Flynn kidnapped me. I'm at my parents! X
JAX- Really? ;) I hoped he's fucked you real good already. X
I hear Flynn smirk so he must be reading my texts too.
ME- You're real dirty. I'm ready to kill him not fuck me. X
Flynn scoffs. I only wrote that as I know he's reading my texts.
JAX- Hate sex is as good as any babe. In fact, sometimes it's better. X
ME- You my friend need to get laid! X
JAX- Who said I'm not getting any? ;). How's my little munchkin? X
Flynn growls, probably because Jax is claiming his baby. I cup my tummy.
ME- He's good. He's always hungry these days. X
JAX- Hungry for what exactly? ;) X
ME- Jax! You're relentless. I love you. X
JAX- Love you babe. Call me if you need me to rescue you. X
It doesn't take long to get to our destination. I wait until Flynn gets out the car before I climb out. Mom comes to me and holds the lead out to me. I roll my eyes and take it from her and attach his lead.
I follow behind everyone as we walk to the admission stand. Dad pays for our tickets and proceed to the entrance.
A guy puts his hand out in front of me to stop me. "No dogs allowed." I want to say something provoking but I hold my tongue.
I smile at him and he blushes, "You wouldn't want me to have a seizure and not be able to be forwarned would you?" I step towards him and he bites his bottom lip. I put my hands on his chest, "Because if that happened, you wouldn't be able to take me for drinks later," he gulps. I lean my lips to his ear and look at Flynn and he's looking pissed as hell. "What do you say, pretty boy?" I whisper.
"Yes," he swallows loudly.
"You want to take me for drinks?" I say loudly for Flynn to hear and the guy nods, "Sure, I'd love that," I see Tyler roll his eyes at my dramatics. "You want my number?" Flynn hastily grabs my arm and pulls me away from him.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he growls at me. He continues to pull me into the maze. "Why would you do that?"
"Let me go, Flynn, you're hurting me." He lets me go and he stops to look at me.
"You are mine, do you understand? How many times do I have to prove that to you?"
"I am not yours! I never will be. You don't have any claim over me, not now. You had me and you chose to walk away!" I punch his chest and he holds my wrists to stop me. I am his, always. Doesn't mean he deserves me.
"You will always belong to me. Just remember that, you may be blocking me right now but it's inevitable. You are just pissing me off before that!"
"You aren't that special! You keep wishing," he drops my wrists and shakes his head. Tears form in his eyes and they slice through me. He walks away from me and I stand motionless. His face haunts me, the raw emotion.
I don't know how long I stand here but once I regain control of my body warm tears slide
down my cheeks. I move one foot in front of the other. "Flynn," I whisper. I don't ever want him to be hurting. Not like he hurt me, I may be pushing him out but I never want to hurt him. Everything I did was to make him happy.
Every time I turn a corner I have to make a choice on which way to go. I have no idea which way the exit is and I have no idea which way Flynn went. "Flynn!" I whimper louder. I have no idea where I am. I turn left then right, straight on. I panic, how do I get out? I start to run, to find the way out. "Flynn!"
I keep hitting into the corn edges as I turn each corner. My back hurts and my feet are killing me. I stop running and I back into a corner. I lower to the ground and hold my bump. Rex lays on my legs whining at me. People pass me by with odd looks but they ignore me.
My phone rings and I pull it out my pocket, "Sis, where you at?"
"I'm in the maze," I cry.
"You are really shit with direction, that's a risky combination," he laughs. "Are you crying?" he asks with concern.
"Ty," I whimper.
"What?" he panics.
"I can't find the way out and my back hurts and my feet hurt."
"Where are you?"
"I told you, in the maze! I don't know where I am!" I hang up and put my phone away. I put my hands on my head and Rex continues to cry. How long have I been in the maze? I shiver, I am really cold. I can't even find my own way out. I really am the rich kid. I don't know how to do DIY, I don't know how to navigate.
After a while, I hear muffled calling. I don't answer, I just try blocking everything out. Rex makes me jump when he barks. I stroke his head to shush him. He barks again and I hold my ears. Burning hands are placed over mine and I open my eyes. He's kneeling down next to me with sadness in his eyes. His lips move but I don't hear what he says.
He prizes my hands away from me, "Shh," he says softly. "I'm sorry for leaving you," he keeps holding my hands. "You're so cold."
"Sis, you okay?" I shake my head.
"I couldn't get out, I ran but I couldn't even do that right."
"Shh, it's okay, Ri."
"No! It's not okay! How can I take care of two kids when I can't fucking do that right!"
"And I thought her time of the month was bad." Tyler groans, "Now we have it twenty-four seven."
"You don't need to do this alone. No one is perfect, well you are to me. What I'm trying to say is let me help you. You can do this alone because you're strong but you don't have to! I'm here, let me help you." He releases my hands and he lifts me off the floor. I bury my face in his neck and he starts walking.
      I don't focus on which way he goes. I trust him to lead me out of this prison. It takes him about five minutes until I hear mom.
"Is she okay?" Mom asks. I move my face from Flynn's neck and see Miley next to her. I make Flynn put me down.
"Hey Honey, have you had fun with Nana?" I ask and she nods. I lift her into my arms and I hold my back as I hold her.
"Yeah, we went on a tractor ride, Mommy. Then we went in a corn tunnel it was dark but Nana looked after me."
"That's great baby," I smile at her. I'm so glad she can be around my mom and not shut down.
"I'm hungry," I keep smiling at her. It's nice to hear her say she's actually hungry instead of the tiresome, I could eat.
"Let's go get you some food then," I grin. I waddle to the food stand. "What do you want baby?"
"Hotdog please Mommy, lot's of ketchup."
"Why don't you sit down with Mommy and I'll get it," Flynn says and I roll my eyes. She nods and I waddle to a table. I sit on a large wooden bench at a wooden table under a tent. I sit Miley on the bench next to me. Rex lays on my feet and Ruby and Mom sit opposite me.
"Are you hurting, Lee?" Mom asks.
"Backache," I say holding my back sitting up straight.
She rummages in her handbag and produces a packet of painkillers. "I asked Alec and he said you can take Paracetamol if need be," Of course she did. I take them off her and snap out two. I pass her back the packet.
Flynn sits down next to me and passes me a bottle of water. Hell, I fancy good old Pepsi. I take the tablets as Flynn passes Miley her hotdog. Flynn puts a burger in front of me without saying anything. Flynn goes to take a bite of his burger and I grab his knee and he freezes with the burger mid-air.
He helps me by moving his leg over the bench. He frowns at me and I turn my body so I can lean my back against his body. I sit crossed legged and start eating my burger. Mmm, he made them put pickles in. He puts his arm around me, he's so warm. My back eases slightly as I lean all my weight on him.
Once I finish my burger I reach across the table and steal Tyler's chips and I start shoving them in my mouth, "Hey!" Tyler protests. Flynn laughs as does Mom and Ruby.
"Come on bro, it's nice she's eating without force," Flynn says.
"Let me have some, at least," Tyler moans. He tries to reach for them but I hold them out his reach.
"No, they are mine now," I growl and shove more into my mouth.
"Right, no sharing," he rolls his eyes.
"I share," I say and take a chip and look up and slide it into Flynn's mouth and he sucks my finger and I gasp. I quickly withdraw my finger.
"Gross," Tyler groans.
"Tastes good," Flynn smirks. I blush awkwardly. I shove more chips in my mouth and ignore the growing connection between us. Flynn slides his hands up my top and his burning hands rest on my back and I groan. Hell! How does he do that? "Does that hurt?"
"No," I groan. "The opposite," I admit and he smirks. His hands heat up my back like a hot water bottle and it dulls the pain. I arch my back and his touch causes goosebumps on my skin. He said it was inevitable earlier. It echos around and around in my head. Is it? Is fighting him meaningless? Is he right in that I will accept him back eventually?
Hell, it's so much harder to push him away here this is why I fought so hard to stay away from my hometown. "What do you think, Lee?" Mom asks.
"Huh?"
"I said we were going to go out for dinner."
"What sort of dinner?" I growl.
"Well, dinner with a few friends."
I throw my head back and groan, "We all know how that went last time Mother." Dad ended up spilling my darkest secrets.
"Come on Honey, not all meals are doomed. At least this time you've been prewarned."
"Tell me that after the meal," I roll my eyes.
"Miley, what do you want to do next?" Mom asks.
"Umm, mini-golf please Nana." She claps her hands and everyone starts to get up. I look up at Flynn and he frowns.
"Can you watch Miley, Abigail?" Flynn says and they all look at us.
"Sure, Honey," Mom says and Miley climbs on me and hugs me. "You can see Mom later, we are going to have so much fun, Honey." Miley looks up at me.
"I can come with you if you want me to but I know you'll have lots of fun without me," I hope we can have a relaxing day at home tomorrow. Everything aches!
"Okay Mommy," she climbs off my lap and runs to Mom and holds her hand. They walk towards the mini-golf and Flynn stands up.
"No," I groan. This is why I didn't want to go play mini-golf. He holds his hand out to me and I take his hand grudgingly. He helps me to my feet and I hold my back again. He starts walking and I waddle with him but I pull my hand away from his.
"What?" he asks as he turns to face me.
"You're walking too fast." He smirks at me and takes my hand again. He walks slower this time as I waddle next to him.
"At least you can't flee away from me now." I roll my eyes as we walk towards the car park. Why is he leading me back to the car park? He uses the remote to unlock Tyler's car. When did he get his keys? He opens the boot, "Tell the dog to get in the boot please."
I point to the boot, "Up," he jumps up and I make sure he's all in. "Stay," he lays down and Flynn shuts the boot. Flynn opens the back door for me and I slide in. He shuts the door and walks to the other side. What is he doing?
He opens the other back door and he pulls out Miley's car seat and places it in the front seat. He slides in next to me and he shuts his door. He leans over the centre console and turns the radio on. I roll my eyes when Say you won't let go by James Arthur starts playing.
He sits back down and he grabs my hips and he pulls me onto his lap so I sit astride him. "Flynn," I say awkwardly.
"Humour me," he says ignoring my protest. He slides his hands up my top and his hands burn my back again and I sigh with relief. We both listen to the lyrics and I rest my face in his neck. "Just say you won't let go." I smile, I wouldn't say he was a brilliant singer but it's perfect to me. He strokes my cheeks to move my hair out my face and he makes me look at him. His eyes burn me and I squirm.
"Did you burn Scarlett? I've come up with a theory you see. You never burned me when you loved her, apart from the night you ambushed me because drunk you still loves me."
"No, I never burned her. I've never burned anyone other than you. I've never even heard of anyone burning someone with their touch or eyes. I don't control it, Ri, I always loved you. Just drunk me can not resist you."
"I like drunk you, he's cute," I smile and he raises his eyebrow.
"I'm gonna love you 'til, My lungs give out, I promise 'til death we part like in our vows."
"Stop, singing to me," I whine. He smiles a huge white tooth smile. He's slowly killing me.
"That it's just you and me 'til we're grey and old, Just say you won't let go." I roll my eyes and he scrapes his fingertips down my back and I groan.
"Stop," I whine.
"You did this to yourself, I warned you to not make me jealous. It's not even like you are fully mine again, I don't have that fucking security and I need that."
"I'm not even close to being yours," I growl. He sighs and he nuzzles his nose into my neck. I throw my head back as he sets my whole body on fire. My body and heart wants him right here right now. How will I ever resist him now? I am like his prey, he has me right where he wants me and I can't move to get away from the danger.