Forever Lost

Chapter 18

I blindly feel around behind him and I rest my chin on his shoulder. I unclip one cuff essentially freeing him and he hastily stands up and holds my legs and I squeal. I wasn't expecting him to do that. He walks to the bed and flops me on the bed. "My turn," he says seductively in a deep voice. He holds his hand out for the key and I pass it to him. He opens the remaining cuff from his wrist.
"Turn over, knees underneath you. We need to protect our little one," I do as he says so my knees are supporting me and my chest and shoulders are resting on the bed. He grabs my wrists and he cuffs my wrist behind me. I'm completely at his mercy as he was. He slaps my backside and I yelp, "As much as I fucking enjoyed that, don't deny me touching your body again."
I smile into the pillow. He slides one hand down my back and it arches. The other hand grips my hip and he thrusts into me and I whimper. "Your skin is so fucking soft," he says as he continues sliding his burning hand up and down my back. He starts a slow and delicious rhythm. "You are mine, no other man will touch what is mine. Ever again," he promises.
He said that last time but I do feel better, "No one will touch you either, right?" I insist. It's not like I loved Ric so I need more reassurance. He still loves her so it's hard for me. I love Jax but that was different. It was a one-time thing and neither of us tried to pursue it again no matter how good it felt for the both of us.
"You have nothing to worry about baby, we belong together. You and I, I won't touch anyone else ever again." He grabs the cuffs and pulls me back to him so we kneel upright. "I promise," he growls. My mouth slackens as I revel in his touch. My hands move so they are flat against his abs. He cups my neck and his parted lips press against my cheek.
I feel his hot minty breath on my skin. I've missed this, I've missed everything about us. "I love you," I whimper.
"I love you too baby, so fucking much," he holds me like this for ages until I pulse around him and he follows me. He eases us forward and his hands rest in front of me and he pulls us to our sides. He holds me from behind and he touches my belly. I rest my eyes and fall asleep.
"Fuck," I hear Flynn groan and I'm quickly covered in the duvet. The door opens but I don't move.
"Ew," Tyler groans. "We are waiting for you downstairs," I grumble. "Sis you look beat, I thought I told you to sleep so you'll actually be awake now."
"I was sleeping," I mumble. "You woke me up, go away."
"Get up," Tyler insists.
"I can't," I pull against the cuffs not that he can see them.
"Shit, sorry Ri," did he forget? My shoulders are sore. He reaches over me and grabs the key.
"You handcuffed her?" Tyler growls. "Really?"
"She started it, she cuffed me first," I guess it was my fault really.
"Hurry up, just because I accepted this doesn't mean you can handcuff her whilst I'm in the house. In fact, I'd rather you didn't do it at all."
"Bro, calm down. You can borrow them if you like, you and Ruby will both be thanking me," he undoes the cuffs by feel so I stay covered. He puts them on the bedside cabinet and starts rubbing my shoulders.
"Just hurry up," he growls and I hear the door close. He continues to massage my shoulders and it feels so good. I groan my appreciation and he stops.
"Don't because if you do that we will never get up," I roll my eyes and he climbs over me to get up. He roots through his draws and pulls out his swim trunks and slides them on. He walks to my bag and rummages through and then he pulls out the hideous union jack bikini. "It was good thinking on my part, I know." He grins and I roll my eyes.
"I don't know why you like it so much," I grumble. He walks towards me and pulls the covers off me leaving me naked. He pulls me into sitting position and my legs dangle over the edge.
"Because you look hot in it, I reckon, even Jax who loves men so much would be turned on with you in it," I roll my eyes trying not to give anything away. Would he? I don't think so, it wasn't my body as such that turned him on. He said it was my neck.
Flynn slides the bra piece on and then does up the back by nothing but feel again. Once it's fastened he kneels and starts sliding the bottoms up my legs. He makes me stand when the bed gets in the way. "I'd like umm," I say awkwardly. "One of your tops."
He sighs and walks to his draws and pulls out a top. What a shame I ripped his worn top, "Fine but it's coming off in the pool." I guess I can live with that. He slides it over my head as I lift my arms. Once it's secure over my belly he holds my bump. "Beautiful," he says looking down at my belly. I used to hate people touching my tummy near my scar but Flynn's touched it so many times without me even caring.
He bends down and kisses my belly and then he slides his hand in mine and starts walking out of his room. I pull him into Miley's room before we go downstairs and she's sleeping soundly. When we get downstairs we walk outside and I freeze. "Darlin'," Ricardo says from the pool and Flynn's hand tightens around mine.
"What is he doing here?" Flynn growls.
"I wouldn't miss my sister's birthday tomorrow. Besides, you can't have a pool party without me, mate," well, this isn't awkward at all. Fuck, I didn't even remember it was her birthday tomorrow. I'm a shit friend as well as a shit mother. I start to get cold so I try and withdraw my hand so I can stand under the canopy but he doesn't release his grip.
I have no idea why he's pissed. He has Scarlett here. "Flynn, I'm cold," I whimper and he starts walking to the pool. I lower to the edge of the pool and dangle my feet. Flynn gets into the pool and walks over to Tyler. Jax swims to me and he rests his arms on my legs.
He looks up at me resting his chin on his arms, "You okay babe?"
"Yeah, I just wasn't expecting him here," I say loud enough for only him to hear. He nods his understanding.
"Why are you hiding in his top, I for one know what's under there," he grins and I playfully slap his head. He chuckles loudly.
"Bug," I whine.
"Does Hottie not know about that yet?"
"You're still alive, does that answer your question?" he takes my hips and lowers me into the water. He takes the bottom of Flynn's top and pulls it over my head and I hear Flynn growl from the other side of the pool. "He's literally going to kill you," I warn him and he smiles shaking his head.
He stands face to face with me and I can smell alcohol on his breath. I've rarely seen Jax drink so it's weird for me. "Darlin'? Can I talk to you?"
Jax looks at me asking my permission and I nod. "I'll be over there, babe," I nod and he swims away. I feel Flynn burning me with his eyes but he doesn't approach.
"How are you, Darlin'?"
"Fine, you?"
He shrugs, "Okay, I miss you," he says with a sad voice. "You could have told me you know," he cups my belly and calm washes over me again.
"No, I couldn't. Not before Flynn," I shake my head but I don't make him remove his hands from my bump.
"Is that why you ended it?"
"Partly, it was just too hard, Ric. I liked your company, I did but the sex part was too much." I've already told him my reasons, I was quite clear.
"We could have slowed it down a bit, I wasn't with you for the sex."
"I know," I look to Flynn and he's scowling in our direction. I look back at Ricardo and he's looking at Flynn.
"I thought you said you'd never get back with him." His eyes lay on me again and I frown.
"I'm technically not with him," it's not a lie.
"I saw you, you were holding hands. He's glaring at me like he wants to kill me," he grins as if he doesn't care.
"He probably does want to kill you, your hands are on his baby. It's casual, like we were. I guess," I don't know what we are. I've never known what we are.
"Does that mean I can kiss you and he can't do anything about it?" Like I would let him anyway.
"If you have a death wish," I put my hand up in protest, just to be clear. I feel an arm around me and I relax slightly when I see Jax next to me.
"Excuse me, I'd like to dance with my girl," I roll my eyes. How are you supposed to dance in water? Jax takes my hand and pulls me away from Ric. He pulls me back to him so my back is pinned against his front and he sways to the music playing in the background. He holds my belly with one hand the other holds my hip. His chin rests on my shoulder. "What did he say that had your eyes popping out of your head?"
"He asked me about Flynn and I said we weren't together, technically. Just casual and he said that he's free to kiss me and he can't do anything," Jax laughs loudly.
"Only I'm free to do that." I smile, yes although it doesn't mean anything. "What else did he say?"
"Just that he still hopes for more. He would slow down if that's what I wanted. I just can't fucking do it, Jax," I whimper and he swings his hips more.
"I know babe, but you don't need to. You have Flynn over there. He's who you truly want, right?" I look at Flynn and he frowns at us. "Let him have you, fully have you. You'll be so much happier, babe." I just don't know how. "I can't," I whisper.
"You can babe," I shake my head. Scarlett walks up to Flynn and I hold my breath. Scarlett touches Flynn's arm and I tense. "Calm it babe, she's not doing anything wrong," Flynn looks at her and they start talking. I can't hear what they are saying and I don't really want to know. She leans towards his ear and her hands fall on his pecs.
He nods and they start walking out of the pool without a second glance at me. "Babe, it will be totally innocent," he assures me.
"Then it won't hurt to follow, right?" I start walking to the ladder and Jax grabs my wrist.
"You need to learn to trust him, babe," I shake my head. He needs to earn my trust first.
   "If it is totally innocent then what harm is it to follow?" Jax sighs and releases me. I climb out of the pool and walk inside. I hear them in the dining room so I hang back. I peek around the door and Scarlett is crying.
"Scar, don't cry," Flynn begs.
"I'm sorry, it's just so hard. I love you," she sobs.
"I love you too Scar, I never meant to hurt you like this. You always knew what she meant to me."
She sobs loudly and collapses into his chest and I stop breathing. He hugs her back and I want to punch them both. "We were happy."
"Yes," he confirms.
"She doesn't want you. Please, I need you," she begs. I frown, I do want him, okay? I just don't know how to let him in. She removes her face from his chest and they look into each other's eyes. Scarlett makes the first move and kisses him. My heart stops. No! He grabs her face and kisses her back and tears fall from my eyes. He promised me!
"Scar," he pulls away. "No," he protests. "I want her and she wants me," the tears fall despite him pulling away. He kissed her back for a second. That's enough to burn the bridge he was building. I walk back outside and the minute Jax sees me he's swimming towards me. I sit on the poolside again and he rests his arms on my legs again.
"Babe, why are you crying?" he frowns.
"I was always pushing them two back together. Doesn't mean I actually want them to," he frowns not understanding.
"I know babe, you love him. You two are destined to be together," he assures me and I shake my head.
"She kissed him," his eyes widen. "He kissed her back," I whimper.
"Did he though? I know how adamant he is to have you by his side."
"He did, might have been just for a second but he did," Jax puts his arms around my waist and pulls me towards him. I slide into the pool and cling to his neck.
"He pulled away though right? He was probably in shock," he defends him.
"Yeah but it's not the point, he shouldn't be kissing anyone," I cry into his neck.
"Sis, you okay?" Tyler asks but I don't stop clinging to Jax.
"No," I whimper.
"What's wrong with her?"
"Apparently she saw Scarlett kissing Hottie."
"Fuck sake! You two give me a headache. There's always something going on, I'll go find him." I hear the water sloshing as he leaves us.
"Babe, your neck," he whispers. I pull away and I laugh and shove him playfully. "Phew, that was close babe," he jokes. He wipes my tears as I continue to laugh. Jax disappears under the water and his head comes behind me between my legs and he lifts me up. I continue to laugh but hold his head.
"Bug, I'm too heavy for this," I protest. His hands hold my thighs.
"Are you saying I'm weak babe? Are you insulting my strength?" he jokes and I laugh loudly. "Because my best friend wouldn't do such a thing." We both laugh and he looks up at me and I look down.
"Ri!" Flynn shouts. We both look up at him. Flynn is rushing to my side but I stay clinging to Jax's head. "Ri, please," he begs as he swims towards me. "It wasn't what it looked like," he says as he reaches me.
"I don't want to hear it. I know what it was, Flynn. You pushed her away, I saw," I look at him and he's glaring at Jax.
"So why were you crying?"
"Because. . . you kissed her back for a second. That second was enough to burn the bridge you were building," I growl.
"I didn't, Ri. . ." he whispers. "Can we talk about this upstairs?"
"And have you consume me with sex, no!"
"Babe, don't just dismiss it. Sex with Hottie should not be turned down. Let him fuck you, hate him later," Jax jokes. I playfully slap his head. "Hell, even have hate sex"
"Just to talk, please," he begs ignore Jax's banter.
"No," I protest. "I'm tired of hearing the same words without any change," I lean as close to Jax's ear as I can. "I'm tired," I whisper. He moves my legs off his shoulders and my legs slide down to his waist and I cling to him. I rest my cheek on his shoulder and I close my eyes.
"Can you not?" Flynn growls.
"She's tired, babe. Calm down," Jax says calmly.
"Ri, I'll take you to bed," I grumble but I'm pulled into burning arms. I'm too tired to fight. I feel the water slosh around him as he carries me. He holds me with one arm as he lifts himself up the ladder. How does he do that? I struggle to pull myself out the water.
He carries me up the stairs and it seems as though he does a detour before going into his room. He lowers me on the bed and it feels like a towel beneath me. He removes the wet bikini and dries me before putting me in PJs. "I can sleep with Miley, or Jax," I mutter.
"Shut up, Ri. You are sleeping with me where you belong." He removes the towel from beneath me and moments later he slides in next to me and pulls the covers over us. "While I have you here. I've asked her to leave tomorrow. She's going to stay at the apartment until we get home. Then she's to leave, she's making you sick and I'm sorry I put her between us."
"You're only sorry because you were caught out," I whisper but I know he heard me.
"No, baby, you are hard work. I want you, I love you, I am never giving up so no matter what you chuck at me I'm not leaving your side. Sure, I kissed her for a second but it was just a second. I didn't register until after the second. I'm a guy, my brain doesn't work that fast." He sighs, "I'd like to tell you a bedtime story if you'll let me."
I nod, "Okay, there was a guy called Flynn Archer." I frown. Why is he talking about himself? "He cared for no one. Fucked any girl, he wasn't fussy. He was always the dominant in the bedroom. He had control, they couldn't kiss him without his permission. He always took the lead. He'd get into shit loads of fights.
"His best friend Tyler saved him from himself. He cared for a girl called Skylar," I tense in his arms and he strokes my hair. Who the fuck is Skylar? "He dated her for around six months. He didn't love her but he cared. One day he got into a fight and Skylar tried pulling him off this guy. He beat him to a pulp and he had a bleed on the brain and died in hospital that night."
Do I want to hear any more? "But to Flynn Archer, that wasn't the worst thing. When his anger subsided Skylar was in the hospital. He'd hurt her badly in his rage. He'd broken her jaw and she needed an operation to pin her jaw back together," I shiver. He always said he was dangerous but to do that? He wouldn't hurt me like that. I know that much even if he sees red.
"Flynn couldn't face her as she was covered in bruises all over her face. He abandoned her in the hospital and never saw her again. Bad boy Flynn doesn't do commitment. He went through life fucking girls, drinking and forever getting into fights. Until one day, he met an angel."
I'd roll my eyes if they were open, "The light was radiating on her skin making her glow. He looked her body up and down examining her. Her hair was too dark for her pale skin. Her body was too skinny but what did he care? She was a random girl. Her eyes showed pain. Horrific pain and it sent chills down his spine. He didn't linger long in them because he felt her pain. He didn't know what her pain was but he felt it. As he did another scan of her body it was an instant arousal.
"It had never happened before and he was confused. Why this girl? Why Tyler's sister? She was drunk as shit, he could tell that much but she went straight to the bottle anyway. He needed a cold shower as nothing he could do could get her off his mind. He tried to push her out of his head but questions started forming. Was she still drinking? What is she doing now? Many tiresome questions. It got to the point where he had to toss himself off because the Angel consumed him.
"He didn't know why this was happening. He thought if he got her out of his system, all would be okay again. He certainly felt better after anyway. He hoped Tyler would forgive him for a one time wank. It was harmless, right? Tyler came to see him to ask if he could help watch his sister. He didn't want to babysit the drunken spoilt Angel but he agreed anyway.
"Tyler warned him to stay away from his sister. She would literally fuck anything that moved. He had no intention of fucking her, even if she did make him instantly hard and a wank in her honour. The first night all the guys were all over her and she didn't care. By that time he had her body memorised in his head.
"He only had to shut his eyes and see her body in his mind and bang, hard on. The amount of times he had to hide it. She played a game called blindfolded touch. To him, it was as though he was watching live porn. She wasn't shy. In fact, she was very full on and the guys didn't know how to react.
"She was impressive that she knew every part of a guys anatomy blindfolded with a simple touch. One of the lucky guys got to take her to his room and fuck her. He tried to drink the hard on away and it worked. He was a bit drunk and he went to go to bed but there was a girl passed out on the bathroom floor." Why have I never heard this story before? I hardly remember the early days. It's all a bit hazy.
"He tossed her on his shoulder. She was as light as a feather to him. Never had he carried a girl like that to bed before. He'd sooner leave them in the gutter but he'd promised Tyler. He carried her to her room. Her key was in her bra. He had to control himself, she was intoxicated. He found her key as he slid his hands over her glorious tits.
"He tossed the annoying girl on the bed and he went to leave but he was stopped in his tracks when she started talking. No one in her room she said then she slapped her face it was cute." I slapped my face? Really? "Don't touch me, she begged. He turned to face the Angel and she was shaking. Tell me you love me, she said. I don't want this, she whimpered. How could he leave her like that? He walked towards the distressed girl and he sat next to her as if she was a magnet. Nothing more and she shaking stopped.
"Her pleas turned into mumbles and then she was peaceful. Coincidence? Maybe but he didn't want to test it. He was planning to leave, eventually until she moved her head onto his stomach and wrapped around him. She was icy cold to touch. He moved the covers over her. Why? He didn't know but something inside of him needed to protect her. He stroked her hair to soothe her and a groan escaped her lips.
"He rested his eyes for a moment but he didn't expect to fall asleep so easily." He slept in my room the first day he met me? How did I not know that? "He woke and felt refreshed until he had Tyler's sister wrapped around him. Her face buried in his neck. He'd never slept like that with anyone let alone Tyler's sister! He slid out of bed and got ready for uni. He had a pounding headache.
"Tyler was worried as his sister refused to go to uni. He really wanted to kill her. She was so frustrating but he didn't know her. He made her get ready but she was so defensive. Her language was shocking. A spoilt girl with a good education and said things like, I ain't going? He strangely found it amusing. Tyler couldn't believe that he got his sister to cooperate.
"She finally got her backside down the stairs and then she refused to go again. The rich brat had to get her own way or she threw a fit. That was the first time he introduced himself to the girl as Flynn Archer and she acted as if she didn't care! He was offended.
"He walked towards her to get her into the car and she punched him so hard. What was wrong with the girl that she felt as though she had to defend herself like that? It fucking hurt by the way. He tossed her in the car and she refused to put her seatbelt on. He was confused that he felt on edge. Why was he? He didn't know the girl. As soon as the car stopped she was out of it quicker than she got in. Did she not like cars?" Christ, how much did he observe of my life. Even in the early days?
"He felt pained that she wouldn't eat in front of others. The way she said he wasn't family, Tyler wasn't her family nobody was shit to her. His heart broke, again, why? He did not know. He didn't like the darkness he saw in her eyes again. The only thing I'm grateful for is mortality, she said. It still lingers in his mind even now. She poured vodka in her coffee. Did she ever stop drinking? He was worried that she would be sick if she drank without eating.
"They got to the car and she asked how to get to Duke. And then she just walked off. They were going that way anyway yet she insisted on walking. It wasn't the first time he wanted to kill her and it wasn't the last. Tyler gave away nothing as to why she was the way she was. If he did it was only snippets and he could do fuck all with it. She had no shame with guys and it strangely bothered him.
"He had many classes with her and he watched her from a far. How she would drink straight out of the bottle first thing in the morning. She always wrote in her diary. What did she have to write in there? How good it was to fuck all those guys? The feeling was strange to him as he watched every stroke of the pencil. How he really wanted to read what she wrote. Simple things made him hard. Chewing on on the pencil, how? He was turning into a stalker!" I smile.
"As soon as she left his mind wandered to her. Where was she? Is she still at Duke? Is she with another twat? The gym was a no go area. The way her tits bounced up and down on the treadmill. Seeing her in those shorts. Hard-ons, he was sick of them with no release. How could someone so intoxicated workout to that intensity?
"It didn't take him long to sense when she was around. A strange aura washed over him as she walked into the room. He'd never seen anything cuter than the way she stuffed food in her mouth but it saddened him to see her alone. Always on her own. He tried to forget about her. He went to work but he couldn't concentrate on anything because he was worrying about her. His boss let him go early and what did he find? The Angel dancing in her underwear. Yet another hard on!
"He sulked to Tyler's room and he always gave him minuscule information without meaning to. How innocent she used to be, how she doesn't sleep much. She gets nightmares, she used to do drugs. He was becoming frustrated not knowing, yet Tyler stayed true to his word. She came to Tyler's room drunk as a skunk but she had jeans on but still only in a bra.
"She was adorably cute. Trying to touch her nose but poking her face. He thinks he loved her even then. Tyler took her to bed and they played Xbox for hours and then he heard her piercing screams. He hadn't heard anything that ripped through him like that. Everyone was surrounded outside her door but Tyler made them leave. Tyler was hurting wanting to open that door but he couldn't do it. Flynn wanted nothing more than to kick that door open and comfort her. He liked her unconscious.
"He ignored Tyler's warnings and once Tyler left he walked in. Again she was thrashing on the bed. No more, she begged. Don't hurt me, I'm sorry, she cried. I love you! He laid by her side and stroked her hair and her shaking eased. Who hurt this girl? Why did he care? He looked at her soft irresistible lips as she slept peacefully. He knew in that moment how protective he was of this girl. She grabbed his hand and he thought she was awake but she wasn't.
"She moved her face to his neck again. His heart was pounding out his chest. A topless girl was clinging to him and the things he felt. Her sweet unique scent filling his nostrils. He continued to look at the earth-shatteringly beautiful girl on top of him. Was he the only one that saw the raw, vulnerable Riley. No wall, no mask? He fell into a peaceful sleep again." He slept in my bed on the second day too?
"He woke with her wrapped around him like ivy. He couldn't help but notice how well he actually slept with the girl. He left her sleeping and got ready to go to uni. She refused to come to Uni with them and it frustrated him. He started to worry about what his best friend would think if he knew about his bedtime habits. He started to sense her outdoors. She was smoking and the way her lips moulded around the fag gave him an instant arousal. He didn't see her for the rest of the day and it made him. . . anxious.