Forever Lost

Chaprer 26

"He went to work after uni and then flopped on his bed. He noticed a pillow missing. What the hell!" I grin, I needed that pillow. "His hoodie was missing too. He followed the same routine for the next couple of days, minus the test. He didn't need any more of them.
    "As he stood in the kitchen he felt a strange pull that hit him harder than ever. It felt like a huge relief after not feeling it for a week. Riley? he gasped. They saw someone running out of the house. They ran after her as she ran to Hayden's car. Where was she going? Was she going home? He watched as the car drove out of sight. He hoped she wasn't going home. He couldn't cope with not seeing her again. Did she really hate the idea of seeing him so much that she ran away? He needed to feel close to her.
    "He walked back to his room. He tried her door but it was locked. What did it mean that her shower bits were gone? He started to drink again. He felt more anxious not knowing where she was. He couldn't handle that feeling. Bro! Tyler sighed when he saw he was drunk again. Stop resorting to booze! I don't want to lose you too! Tyler said. I've lost my sister too you know? I haven't seen her in a week, Tyler said.
    "You did this. I told you she wouldn't be the same, he said. It helps bro, want some? he said. He shook his head, more for me he grinned. Want to go get dinner? Tyler asked and he held the bottle up indicating it was his dinner. Mate, you aren't eating properly. I'm worried about you, Tyler said. He should be, he didn't know how to pull himself out of this one. Maybe if he saw her and she was okay. Maybe he could then. I'll order pizza, Tyler sighed. Come on, he pulled him up and he staggered towards the door.
    "They walked downstairs, Blake! Tristan called through her door. You want to go to my room? I miss you like fuck! He called through her door. Bro, don't Tyler warned. He pushed him off him and knocked Tristan to the floor. He punched Tristan over and over. You really are a psycho. No one had seen her since she's been back. Did you put her off men? Tristan toyed and he growled. Tyler pulled him to his feet. He bent down to grab his bottle. He staggered downstairs, everything was spinning and he wasn's sure of his feet.
    "Bro! Please get a grip man, Tyler begged. He tripped on the last few steps. Flynn! You need to be more careful, get the hell up! Tyler urged. Tyler tried helping him up but he was dead weight. Bro, you're fucking heavy, help me! He let him help him up and he looked to the doorway and there stood Hayden and Abigail watching his drunken state. Hayden walked toward him and slammed him against the wall. The hell did you do to my daughter? She's a fucking mess, he yelled getting up in his face. He didn't resist, he deserved what was coming."
    I cringe, it's not something you want to be on the receiving end of my Dad's wrath. He never physically hurt me but Tyler and I both respected him.
    "Hayden, don't, Abigail protested. I should kill you for this. You broke her. I haven't seen her like this before, Hayden growled. Where is she? Tyler asked. I can't tell you that. She made me promise, Hayden growled. He couldn't handle not knowing where his girl was. Look at you, you're a state, Hayden said. He knew that! He looked at Abigail, Hayden, let him go, she insisted. As he released him he fell to the floor. He pulled himself up and swayed. He staggered towards Abigail. He hugged her and she smelled homely. You look as bad as her honey, she said.
    "Her pain is my pain, just please, is she safe? he pleaded. He continued to hug her, she felt safe. She was making him somewhat calm. She's safe honey, she assured him. Did Riley's heart disease not teach you to not do this to yourself, she scolded. I judged her too harshly. I know why she did this, it's easier. The booze is a lifeline, Abigail, he said. Why did you leave her when you are in this much pain? I don't see your girlfriend around. I don't believe you don't love my daughter, she said.
    "It's complicated, he muttered. Why are you here? he asked. We came to pick up Riley's meds. She hasn't been taking them. She promises she will take them from now on, she said. And the alcohol, he asked. I believed her when she said she hasn't touched it, she said. Her door is locked, he said. He knew because he tried. She gave us her key, Abigail held the key out. She's not coming back here, is she? Abigail shook her head. Tears fell from his face and he punched the wall. Son! Hayden called. He didn't look back as he staggered up the stairs.
    "He flopped on his bed and cried into his pillow. He was never going to see her again. This was harder than losing his parents. Oh Honey, Abigail gasped. She flicked the light on and sat on his bed. She stroked his hair, I don't understand why you did this, you love her, that is clear. He moved his head and rested it on her lap. She continued to comfort him. She'd grown on him and it was almost like he'd adopted her as his own Mom. I'm going to leave you her key, she said.
    "You'd do that? he sobbed. You need to feel close to her, I get that. Her room will be handed back to the uni soon but you'll have a few days to feel close to her, she said. She's okay right? he asked. About the same as you, honey, but she's sober, promise me you will look after yourself, honey. I can't leave here with you in this state, she said.
    "I don't know how to function without her, Abigail. It hurts so much, he whimpered. She hushed him and continued to stroke his hair. Be the Flynn she loves honey. The Flynn we all love, be strong. Don't lose yourself, she could need you someday and you will be too far gone, she said."
    Man, my mom has some wise words. Where would I be if he didn't pull himself together?
    "Okay, Be strong for his Angel. He could try that. Sober up honey, I'll call you tomorrow. If you need me call me, okay? This changes nothing, honey, you are still family and you always will be, she promised. He nodded his understanding, she placed the key in his hand. She moved his head off her lap and carefully placed it on the bed.
   "She kissed his forehead. It had been a long time since anyone had comforted him like that. Bye honey, she said. She left and Tyler walked in with pizza. Eat, he demanded. I'm working on it, I'll find out where she is. Dad won't be able to hide it for long, Tyler said and he only nodded. Did it matter? She didn't want to see him. It was okay for him, they were siblings. She wouldn't push him out forever. Where could she have gone if not to blowing rock? He wished he could just see her. See for himself that she was safe. He ate the pizza and then went to her room.
    "He took a deep breath filling his nose of her scent. Her pillows were damp, was that tears? He felt calmer than he did but he hated not knowing where she was. He fell asleep in her bed. The next few days pass by but not the same. He stayed sober for Riley and for Abigail. She saw him at his all time lowest and she comforted him. She made him see that everything would be okay. Tyler rings him when he's at work.
     "Bro! My Dad caved, he said. Is she safe? he said. That's all he cared about. Sure sure, I need you to meet me at the frat house. I've got a surprise, he rolled his eyes. Unless it was his sister gift wrapped then he didn't want it," I laugh and he frowns. "What?"
    "That's really all you wanted? Me, gift wrapped?"
    "You didn't even need to be gift wrapped," he shrugs. "His boss let him go early and he walked to the house. Tyler accosted him as soon as he was back. He was so excited. Bro, go pack a bag, we are moving out of here, Tyler said. Excuse me? he asked. My dad bought us an apartment, Tyler said. I can't afford that! he protested. How could he think he'd like that surprise? Shut up, my Dad bought it and he's paying the bills. No, I'm not sponging off your dad, he hates me as it is, he sulked. Please, my Dad loves you. He sees you as a son too you know. Mom saw you as a son that first day. When he phoned he said, mush, I bought an apartment for you and Flynn. Tell him to stop being an idiot and accept my money already."
     "He rolled his eyes, never. Let me contribute, pay rent or something, he countered. My Dad also said he's not paying rent, bills or anything. He's a stubborn motherfucker but I won't have him spending a cent. It's going to be his home," I smirk. That sounds like my Dad.
    "And he couldn't have told me himself? he groaned. Oh, he wanted to but I wanted to break the news, come on, I'll let you have the bigger bedroom. You know I owe you big anyway man, Tyler said. Fine, I guess it beats staying here with these dickheads, he sighed. Beat, Tyler laughed. You'll defo beat their ass if I leave you here, Tyler joked. He didn't have much to pack, he was an orphan and skint. He packed Riley's pillow that he took from her room.
     "Gah, hurry up, Tyler said when he got downstairs. Why are you in such a hurry? he growled. Considering you're forcing my hand to move in with you, he rolled his eyes. Tyler marched off to his car. Tyler started the car before he was even in the car. As soon as he shut the door Tyler drove off. Christ, what was wrong with him today? Surprise, Tyler said as they stood outside number nineteen."
    I frown, that's my apartment, "This is our apartment? he asked. Why wasn't he opening it then? No, he shock his head. He pointed to number eighteen. That is our apartment, this is Riley's apartment, Tyler said. His mouth dropped open. They bought her an apartment? This is where she'd been? Okay, He guessed he liked the apartment a lot more now. Told ya you would like it, Tyler said noticing he spiked his interest. He closed his mouth and they walked to their apartment. He liked it but he thinks that was because Riley was next door.
    "It would do, he did not need nor want extravagant. He texted Abigail to say thank you. Tyler left the apartment. He was starving but he couldn't go out because he had no keys. He couldn't order because he didn't know the address. He grabbed a pot noodle and went to bed. He hugged her pillow as he fell asleep. The front door woke him up at 5 am. He walked into the living room to see Tyler yawning. Where did you go? I had no keys, no address to order food, he said. Shit sorry bro, I wanted to see my sister, Tyler shrugged. His anger disintegrated as he mentioned her. Is she okay? did you sleep there? he interrogated. Tyler screwed his face up, She's fine, Tyler lied. Yeah I did. Tell me the truth man, he growled.
    "You knew she'd be bad bro. She begged me not to leave her, she cried for hours in my arms. Then I woke her when she had a nightmare. Then she kicked me out. She still cries for hours? he sucked in a breath. Bro, girls cry all the time. She always used to cry before, Tyler shrugged it off. He glared at Tyler. She should be smiling and be happy. Is she still crying? he asked. Dunno, she went for a run. I made her miss her late night run so she's debating whether to go for three runs instead of two. He sighed, I'm going to bed. I'll give you keys when I wake up, Tyler said.
    "They both went to bed. He got a couple more hours sleep before he became restless. Once Tyler was up he passed him two keys. This is the key to our apartment, he held his hand out and nodded as he placed the key in his hand. And this one is Riley's key. My parents wanted us to have a spare key for emergencies. You aren't to misuse it, okay? Tyler insisted and he nodded his understanding but Tyler hesitated. Bro, I promise. All I've wanted to do for the last week or so is kick her door down and beg her for my forgiveness but I haven't. You can trust me, he said. Tyler placed the key in his hand and he wrapped his hand around the keys keeping them safe.
    "The day dragged by all he could think was, what is she doing? Is she okay? Has she eaten today? Is she safe? Gah so many questions. A couple more days past before he saw her. When would she come out of hiding? He just had to see for himself that she was okay. He was on the couch that night alone. Tyler was on another date, he had heard commotion in the hallway so he checked it out. Tyler was there staring at the elevator. Bro, what you doing? he asked.
    "Nathan was in her apartment, he said. The fuck? he growled. She said they were trying the whole friend's thing. I didn't like him in her apartment so I pinned him against the door. I threatened to kill him if he hurts her whilst she's vulnerable, Tyler said. Good, I don't like it either, he huffed. But then he hated anyone in close proximity of her. Is he going home now? he asked. Nope, they are going for a run. At this time? he panicked. Apparently she always goes at this time or later. I told her there were psycho's around at this time of night and she said she's pretty psychotic herself.
    "Fuck sake, he growled. How was he supposed to keep his cool when she's out there at this time of night? More agonising days passed. People say it gets easier over time, they are wrong, this was harder the more time passes. Not seeing her beautiful face put him on edge. He was at work when Tyler texted. I owe you a night out. Meet me at the Lee hotel.
   "My hotel? Why mine?" why couldn't they have gone elsewhere?
   "Does it have to be there? he replied. It's strip night, Tyler said. What the hell is that? he asked. Exactly how it reads. Don't keep me waiting."
    "Why would you go to a strip night? Was it another test?" I growl.
    "Babe, I didn't even know what it was. Tyler forced me to go. It wasn't my ideal night out," I sigh. Where is this going this time? Tyler dragged him to the bar when they arrived. What you having? Tyler asked. Mel, This is my brother, whatever he wants you grant his wish. They did five shots each before they sat down. Tyler flirted with Mel but she said she didn't date younger guys and it bruised his ego. Let's see who's on the floor first, Tyler grinned.
    "They started downing the shots, he was already feeling them. A girl came off the stage and walk to Tyler, he was in his element. He held up his empty glass to Mel for more drinks. The girl dragged Tyler on to the stage and started dancing. Tyler whispered something to the girl and she nodded and then started walking towards him. She took his hand and he shook his head. She was in sexy lingerie but there was nothing. She didn't take no for an answer and he was pulled to the stage. Tyler found another girl to dance with. The girl started dancing around him, for all the seduction she was using there was nothing.
    "She pulled his top over his head and started touching him.  Still nothing, he said to himself. There never will be. She removed her bra and put it in his hand. Still nothing. She grabbed his hand and placed it on her tit, Come on handsome. You must see something you like. You have full rein, use me as you please, she said. Do you not find me attractive? she sulked.
    "You're sexy, he admitted. He wasn't going to lie, But, you don't turn me on, he said. Are you gay? It's cool if you are. I've been known to turn on gay men. I'm not gay, he growled. There is only one girl on this planet that can turn me on, he insisted. You're in love? she frowned. Yes, very much so. She owns this hotel. You love Riley Blake? Man, no wonder she stopped dancing, she said. What did you say? he demanded. She was one of our best dancers, his mouth fell open. Did you not know about that? he shook his head. She hasn't been dancing long and then she disappeared. She's hot, she said. He shook his head and left the stage.
    "He started downing the drinks on his table. Tyler sat down with his stripper on his lap. I hand you a hot girl on a plate and you aren't the least bit interested. You could just show your appreciation by fucking and leaving her. Bro, he groaned. You probably don't want to hear this but I can't get hard anymore, he confessed and Tyler's mouth fell open. Say what? I think you need to go get that checked out mate. Since when? Since your sister, he shrugged. You can't tell me that my sister is the only one who can turn you on. That is fucked up, he got Mel's attention for more drinks. I don't know what to tell you bro. She makes me hard just looking at her, he was too drunk to care what he was admitting.
    "Stop! That's gross. Tyler cupped the breasts of the lap girl and pulled her bra cup down. Nothing? Tyler asked. No, he said frustrated. Why wouldn't he listen! If she moved on you? Tyler asked. Why was he pushing this? No, Regan already did that and it didn't work, he growled. Really so the other day when you took Regan to have alone time? I was testing a theory and I failed miserably, he admitted. Give me the gory details. He explained to Tyler what happened. Maybe you are trying with the wrong girl, Tyler said. Yes, that's what I'm trying to tell you! he urged and Tyler shook his head. He wasn't going to listen.
    "More drinks came. Ready? I feel so fucked, Tyler said. They downed their drinks. He felt the alcohol coursing through his veins. He wasn't going to last much longer at that pace. He got up to go for a piss and he stumbled. Easy mate, Tyler laughed. That way mate, Tyler pointed at the bathroom. He headed in that direction and he fell over a chair and Tyler laughed. Bastard! He got up and held a chair for support. Let me help you, Mel said. Fuck! How was he going to get home? She helped him walk to the bathroom.
     "I'll wait here, she said. He had to hold the wall as he pissed. He fell on the way out. Fucking bastard for giving him an endless tab. He crawled to the door and opened it. Mel laughed at him, You're wasted, I think I should call you a cab. Did you spike my drinks? he slurred. She laughed as she helped him up, No but you have drunk a lot, he lost count on how many he had. She escorted him back to the table, I'm going to call your friend a cab, he's wasted, she said to Tyler. Me too, Foxy, me too, Tyler laughed.
    "Shall I call you a cab too? she asked. Nah, I'm going home with this babe. Right, Annie?" she nodded and kissed his cheek. Okay, I'll call you a cab and I'll let you know when it's here, Mel said. Sure, I'll have more drinks whilst I wait."
     "More drinks, you were wasted!" I scold.
     "Hey, just be glad I was," he insists. "That's my brother, more drinks, Mel. I don't think either of you need anymore, she said. Who are you my mother? If you still want a job you'll get more drinks, Tyler said. She's not you Mom, bro. Your Mom is hot, he laughed.
     I groan, "I thought we were past this stage."
     "We are, shh! You aren't crushing on my Mom too are you? Tyler groaned. No, I see her more as a Mom myself. I'm just saying, good genes. Your Dad's handsome too doesn't mean I'm crushing on him. Tyler laughed, Well, that's okay then, Bro. Fucking my sister is enough, Tyler groaned. I never fucked your sister, I made love to her. Even worse, Tyler muttered. Mel returned with more drinks and he had to squint to stop her spinning. If you get sick it's, not on my head, your cab will be here in ten, she informed.
     "Get cash out the till for the cab, Tyler said."
     "Hey, it's my hotel!" I growl.
     "I thought you didn't want it, you can't have it both ways baby," he mocks me. "Is that the best idea? Mel said. Yes, I'll square it later, okay? Tyler insisted. He downed his drinks. Man, he needed his bed. Come on sleepy head. Your cab is here, Mel said. I'll sleep here, he groaned. She pulled him to his feet. Not happening, you need to go hime. She supported him as he walked. The cold air sobered him up slightly. She pushed him in the cab and he led on the back seat.
     "She handed over the money for the cab. Where to? he asked. He slowly shouted the address. Probably too loudly. Another drunk one? Brilliant, he muttered. Hell, he didn't think he'd been that drunk in a long time. He was going to be hanging tomorrow. He started to snooze, Hey, buddy, wake up. We're here, the guy announced. He sat up clumsily, Hey look, we're here, he smiled. That's what I said, the guy muttered."
     I laugh, "See, drunk Flynn is cute," he smirks.
     "He fell out the cab, Ow! You good? the guy asked. He held his thump up and stood up. He slammed the door accidentally. His bed felt way too far. He stumbled into the elevator and leaned his cheek on the cool mirror. He fell flat on his face when the elevator stopped. He crawled out and used the wall to climb to his feet. He held the wall as he walked. The walls kept fucking moving and he kept walking into them. He looked at his door, if he really squinted it looked like eighteen. If the key fitted then it was his.
    "He tried one and it didn't work. Hell! Come on. He tried another one and it turned. Yes! Bed here I come, he said to himself. He stumbled in and shut the door. He tripped over something that wasn't normally there. Shit! he mumbled. What was that? He got up and walked to his room. He walked into something else, Fuck, he groaned. Things were literally jumping out at him. He clumsily removed his clothes and flopped into bed.
    "Mmm, his sheets smelt so good. Flynn, what are you doing? Fuck she made him jump. Why was she in his bed? Did she miss him as much as he missed her? She smelled divine, he was in heaven. Oh well, he thought. The number did look blurry. It must have been fate that he couldn't see straight. He wasn't letting her go, not tonight. She should never be crying, not ever. She always cried? He didn't want to leave her if she always cried. If only she knew. I love you so fucking much, he said to himself.
    "He was so fucking wasted. His cock had been dormant, it felt like months since he last saw her but it was only a couple of weeks. What do you want from me, Flynn? she asked. To make love to you, for you to never cry again. For you to be happy, always. He'd rather she fucked him but that was more than enough. He wished he was sober to enjoy it more but he wasn't complaining one tiny bit. He was the luckiest guy alive to be there with her. Man, He was trying so hard not to fall asleep. She was so fucking sexy and always knew the right things to say to him. Don't pass out, don't pass out, he chanted in his head.
    "He was going to pass out. Oh fuck, he needed to please her. Couldn't have her uncomfortable. She was irrestible her strawberry scent was stronger than ever. He was home for the first time in weeks, he was calm. She needed to hurry up before he passed out. She didn't complain he stayed and good job too because there was no moving him then. He passed out wrapped around her.
    "His head was pounding when he woke up. What happened last night? He needed coffee and food. He got dressed and left his bedroom and Tyler was in the kitchen with coffee. His eyes trained in on her as he heard her voice. It was his Angel, not Tyler. All the memories were flooding back. Tyler was going to kill him. His head was pounding but he didn't care, he was with his girl. Had she been having lots of coffee since he left her? Hmm, it tasted so good. He drank it so she couldn't. He stepped back to examine her,  she looked like utter shit but still the most beautiful thing on the planet. Hey! That was his hoodie. She was too beautiful to hide.
    "Hell, she could have all his hoodies if it made her feel better. He didn't know how he was ever going to leave her apartment. She was a magnet and she'd captured him in her spell again. She stormed off, what the fuck! She was calm two seconds ago. He opened the door and she was in a sports bra and panties. He always used to hate his instant hard-ons but in that moment he missed them. He used to wish they'd stop but fuck, she was seducing him. She'd lost more weight but that was okay, she was still here. He made her sober?
    "Did she not realise he'd been a fucking mess too? She put on some tight pants and he could fuck her right here and now. She'd only have to ask. So she stole his hoodie for his scent? He shrugged it on without questioning her. He stole her pillow. He needed to see her more than every couple of weeks. Humans? What? He was in awe looking at the drawings. He picked up her diary, will she, won't she? He didn't want to leave her yet. She would push him out for ages. Was she trying to piss him off? He didn't want her to be friends with that dickhead. He'd so love for no other man to touch what was his.
    "He'd never fuck anyone other than her again. She wasn't an idiot she was amazing. He needed her to remember! He needed her. She still loved him after he broke her? He needed to leave before he fucked her. She made all rational thoughts fly out the window. He took one last look at his breathing Angel and left. How long until he saw her again? He crawled into his bed. He was too hanging to go to uni. He woke around midday. Luckily Tyler was still out so he'd never know about his encounter with his sister. Wild night, huh bro? Tyler said when he returned. Hmm, it turned out well in the end for him.
     "You look happier today, sleep well? Tyler noticed. Yeah, he said. He smiled as he remembered being in bed with his sister. How was your night? he asked Tyler. Well, at least I can get hard, he taunted him. Hey! He could get hard, he proved that last night and this morning. It's just his sister that owns the key to that. He joked making sure Tyler wore protection as he was talking about fucking the stripper in all different ways. Course bro, I am not risking that shit with anyone, Tyler admitted.
    "You ever done it unprotected? he asked. No, why do you ask? Tyler frowned. You didn't! he growled. Bro, calm down. I didn't knock her up! he defended. But you could have. Christ, I'd be seriously pissed if you had. Why would you do that? I thought you didn't want kids? Tyler said. I don't but I can't say no to her. I didn't have condoms and she told me she can't get pregnant. I can never think clearly around her.
     "I can't believe you! Tyler yelled. Just so you know, so much better, skin on skin, he said and moved away waiting for the punch. Tyler punched him, You fucker! he growled. What would you have done if you did knock her up? Tyler demanded. What would he do? Hell! He could never leave her if he had a choice. Well? Tyler snapped. I'd support her, hell maybe I'd even be happy about it, he said. The more he thought about it the more he realised he would be happy. She'd be all his then. Tyler couldn't tell him he couldn't be with her if she were carrying his baby.
     I gasp, "You'd have been happy?"
    "It fucking killed me to lose you. I needed any tie to get back to you. A baby? Yes, if it meant I had you forever and always."