Tainted Desires | 18+

01 - Home

3 Months Ago.

There were no words to describe how hard it was moving back to your hometown years after leaving. The memories hit you so hard that you have the sudden urge to grab your luggage and wave down a taxi to drive you back to the airport.

All the hurt, blood and tears shed, the rumours, and the disgrace that I'd gone through here should have been enough reason why I ought not to be here. But when you're left with nothing but a house to your name, there was not much choice you have except to pick up the pieces of your life and start over.

The past should be in the past, but why did it feel like I was knocking on the door of the past as I faced the house I grew up in? Standing outside the building with my worn-out luggage, the wind blew my hair in various directions as I fumbled around my purse to find the key my uncle had given me after dropping me off.

"Ah-ah,"

I should not have been that happy to unlock the building that held so many memories, but the little things I accomplished brought satisfaction to me.

I dragged my box to the door and pushed it against the wall as support since the two wheels at the front were non-existent. I ought to have gotten a new box over the years, but what was the need for a new box if the old one still functioned as it should?

Pushing the door open a bit, I peeked my head in as if someone was there and was waiting for my arrival. Ha! What a joke! I pushed the door wider and hurled my box inside, letting it fall to the ground as I closed the door and twisted the lock. One could never be too safe in this place.

Shrugging my sweater off, I walked into the kitchen as I reminisced the memories I had of my parents. A little smile graced my lips as I took note of the family pictures that were stuck on the refrigerator. I traced the picture with my index finger, remembering the arguments that preceded it before we finally got the picture taken. We were a happy family. Were. I scoffed at how I reminded myself of how happy we were till I messed everything up and cost our family our happiness.

I did not know when I started crying, but it all came down like waterfalls. I could not stop the tears from flowing no matter how hard I tried. Instead, I let my body do what it had always wanted to for years now.

I let myself cry.

It felt so good to cry.

My head felt lighter each minute. I cried as if the pent-up water in my brain was being sucked out. It was like a release, a weight off my shoulders. I had been holding onto so much pain and hurt, and finally, letting it all out felt like the only way to feel better.

But as the tears slowed and eventually stopped, I was left with a feeling of emptiness. The satisfaction from crying was temporary, and I knew that the problems I was facing would not just disappear because I cried about them.

I was suddenly brought back to reality when my phone started buzzing in the back pocket of my denim pants. It felt so out of place to suddenly buzz as everything had been morose from the moment I got out of the taxi.

I quickly grabbed my phone out of my pocket to see why my phone was buzzing. I rolled my eyes, and a chuckle left my mouth as I took in the name of the caller. My best friend, Emily.

For her not to take notice that I'd been crying, I cleared my throat before swiping across the screen to pick up the call. "How long does it take to travel back to London?" She yelled, and that made me laugh. "What if you had been kidnapped? Or... or had there been an accident?"

"I just got in the house, Em." I rolled my eyes even though she wasn't going to see me. Still, my friend had that effect on me.

"Oh. Anyway," I heard shuffling in the background, and I knew she was trying to get comfortable for the call. Typical Emily. "So what are you going to do now? After settling, I mean."