Tainted Desires | 18+

Flashback #2

Mirabelle Morrison

"You're drunk, Mirabelle." Terrence shakes his head at me with a disappointed look on his face.

"You think I kissed him because I'm drunk?" I couldn't believe him.

"Why else would you kiss him?" His eyes strained on me.

"Because I wanted you to look at me! Just me! Not Amelia, Ana, or the other guys! Just me!" Why couldn't he understand and see that he was the reason I kissed someone in front of him?

I stood there, my heart pounding in my chest, my words hanging heavy in the air between us. Terrence's disappointed gaze intensified, and for a moment, I thought I saw a flicker of understanding in his eyes. But just as quickly, it vanished, replaced by a cold detachment that cut through me like a knife.

"That's not an excuse, Mirabelle," he said, his voice laced with a mix of frustration and hurt. "If you wanted my attention, you could have talked to me. You didn't have to resort to something like this."

His words stung, but deep down, I knew he was right. I had acted impulsively, driven by a desperate need for his undivided attention. But now, facing the consequences of my actions, I realized how foolish and misguided I had been.

"I just thought you'd finally notice me if I kissed someone else, but I guess I was wrong. Just like every other time, I'm always like your little sister, right? I don't want to be your sister! Stop calling me your sister. We aren't even related. We've been friends for a long time now, and I'm sorry if this is going to be the end of it, but I can't keep doing this to myself. I like you, Terrence, a lot, and it hurts that you never look at me for me." My throat felt like it was closing in on me, but I was going to keep talking. "Have I just been like a sister to you? Cut the crap about just protecting me from all the other boys because you're not different from them by much. Tell me, Terrence. Am I just–"

He kissed me.

I did not get to finish my sentence when Terrence took two huge steps to where I was standing. One arm of his wrapped around my waist to pull me against his chest while the other hand went to my neck as he tilted my head a bit to the side before leaning in to press his lips on mine.

It was not the way I'd imagined kissing him in all of my previous delusional thoughts. I thought our first kiss would be soft, gentle, and magical like something out of a fairy tale. I'd always pictured myself in a beautiful dress, standing in a field of flowers, with the sun setting behind me. My prince charming, Terrence, would sweep me off my feet, and we'd share a perfect, romantic kiss under the sun.

But here I was in Terrence's room, my lips being ravished like it was the first-course meal after a long day. Not that I was complaining. The kiss was rough and hot, neither of us stopping for a break to breathe. Anyone who saw us wouldn't think twice to question how much we've been holding back. There was nothing sisterly or brotherly about this kiss. It felt sinful.

I realized that my first kiss wasn't going to be anything like what I'd imagined. However, the sparks and butterflies that I'd hoped I'd feel whenever we kissed were way more than I had imagined. The butterflies in my stomach were going crazy while sparks were going around my body as if I'd just touched a loose electric wire.

Fireworks began going off in the back of my head as Terrence tightened his hold on me. Maybe a first kiss isn't supposed to be perfect or magical. Maybe it's just a moment between two people who were physically starved and wanted to just let go of the tension. Then maybe the magic comes later.

The form of the kiss wasn't what gave me a whiplash. It was the fact that Terrence was kissing me without being asked to. Why? I don't remember asking him to kiss me. I didn't even get to finish my question.